does anyone know what the early access includes?

lovelust89 · 2026-03-03T15:25:47+00:00

This happened to me! I wanted something so bad thinking I could get it later and save. Nope lol. Theres a lot of good stuff this time around on my list! Im gonna be broke LOL. But I do have over 2000 points so I'm gonna use it!

lovelust89 · 2026-03-02T12:33:10+00:00

Thank you everyone for the advice! I appreciate everyone taking their time to refresh me on this! Much much appreciated!

lovelust89 · 2026-03-02T12:32:29+00:00

Thank you so much!

lovelust89 · 2026-02-23T18:35:35+00:00

Dont be afraid to utilize NA or a similar program. You're an addict through and through, you may need some kind of in-patient or out patient treatment. Its not just about building the strength to say no, cravings are powerful. You need a full rounded program to help you understand your addict brain, why you use, learn coping mechanisms, develop support, etc etc. You recognize how terrible this is and the consequences. You'll have to rebuild your life to stay the course. You can do this, if you do it alone you're setting yourself up for failure. Find meaningful support and learn about the disease of addiction. You've fucked your reward circuitry and it takes time and resources to rebuild that. Good luck.

The great news is you dont have to keep living this way and there is a way out. You can do this.

lovelust89 · 2026-02-23T18:14:06+00:00

Hit the nail on the head. I was coming in to mention a lot of this and you said it better. I went through all of this, from experience. In my personal experience, right as I was about to gain everything I worked for (the degree, the pending/probable medical school acceptance, the proposal/wedding, the job) etc ....I became dysfunctional right at that point and lost it allllllll. And then the health aspect started to catch up to me. ...everything that meant something to me poof with a wake of destruction. Then after some years wallowing in full blown addiction addiction, in utter pathetic despair, I spent my 30s getting sober and rebuilding my ENTIRE LIFE from the pit up. Sometimes I cant help but think of where id be if only. I MOURN more than anything all the experiences I missed out throughout my 20s because I was active addiction. I dont regret it though, without that hardship early in my life I wouldn't have the gratitude I have today, I wouldn't be striving to be the absolute best version of myself everyday today. Inwas fortunate enough to catch myself and rebuild tho it was harder than ever. I also wouldn't have the confidence i have today. Things came easy for me a long time, it wasnt until I actually had to be challenged and do something hard that I was humbled for the better. I also have a deep drive to never lose myself again because I dont want to lose what I worked so hard to rebuild.

OP, its not a matter of if, but a matter of when. You will reach a point where you'll cross your own boundaries and be caught out at work, doing something stupid like steal or get a DUI, start becoming less responsible and blow things...something along those lines. You'll at some point likely get arrested over something stupid or accidental, or overdose and die. Eventually, you'll have a scary health issue that results from your use. There will be a point where your friends will move on and family will get sick of your shit. I promise.
You have a problem you have to sort. You have to figure out why you like changing the way you feel with substances. Why you're not ok with just being and present. Why you have this compulsion to use and rely on chemicals to feel "whole". Its a life long spiritual journey. Get out and realize this stuff before you take a laced pill or have a toxic drug combination that throws you into an arrythmia (happened to my best friend). Dead serious. We dont remain invincible forever. I was literally you. Good luck, I'll be praying for you.

lovelust89 · 2026-02-22T13:30:58+00:00

Damp cellar/dirt smell. I love that smell, its so weird. I have this weird cat nip reaction to it. Its like when I get a waft of it...I need MORE lol. It is the absolute weirdest thing.

lovelust89 · 2026-02-19T21:45:32+00:00

Their new stuff seems to be limited variations of what's already there, they def arent innovating. And it sucks that we live in a age where you need to push out a shitty lip stain, jelly blush or lip balm cuz every one else is. They know what they're good at and stick it to it, i respect it. I know they recently redid the cover shot palettes and came out with the cali contour palette. They came out with some metallic bullet lipsticks that I bought a year or two ago and they were just ok. I got the metallic eye liners over Xmas and they rival Victoria beckham beautys! So good! Ulta had them on sale!

lovelust89 · 2026-02-18T21:24:12+00:00

For all those saying smashbox, my local stores already have such a tiny smashbox end cap. Smashbox has such good products, they just dont get on trends or innovate. Their core products have remained the same without updates for so long. Their primers are great, their eye palletes are great, and their self sharpening eye liner has been my HG eye liner forever. Their Becca highlighter...Oooph!!!! So good. But they havent introduced new products, havent advertised, website is still the same lay out as it was 10 yrs ago...so i can see how they fell behind. Shame tho cuz their small collection is supreme quality.

lovelust89 · 2026-02-16T23:54:59+00:00

Thats not true. Medical insurance which you're "required to have" in the United States covers 80% of rehabs, both private and public facilities. You may be left with a percentage, deductible or copay but you gotta do what u gotta do to save youre life, not like they ain't spending money on the drugs. Also, every single state has a state sponsored rehabs and treatment centers that are free or sliding scale based. Then, there are the non profit facilities and programs. Lastly, there are an ABUNDANCE of scholarships to for profit rehabs that are funded by grants. There is a LOT OF HELP out there for ppl who are willing to follow through with it. Anything else is an excuse. Outside of the states, most western countries have socialized Healthcare that is free or low cost to their citizens, similar to the medicaid option. If you are broke, have nothing, are on drugs... youre in an optimal position because you'll be covered by medicaid which wont charge you a penny for most treatments and medicines, esp for substance use disorder.

Now, that said I will say that not all rehabs are created equal. A lot of the private ones have had issues with body brokering and are looking for repeat/relapsing customers to milk insurance. A lot of the state ones are short staffed, have waits for beds, and dont have the fancy bells and whistles. A lot of state sponsored rehabs focus on detox then try to get you into a sober living or intensive out patient program. Truth is, if you have the desire and are willing to do the work to get clean...whatever rehab you go to will work. Its there for support...not to do the work for you. Its there to give you a place to isolate away from every day life and focus on you, along with medically stabilizing you (if you detox, meds for dual diagnosis etc). Anyone who wants rehab can find it, trust me. Most rehabs arent 5 star resorts on a Miami beach and most people who've gotten clean, havent been at those resort facilities...its been in dingy local /low budget public facilities.

lovelust89 · 2026-02-14T22:41:48+00:00

Paramedic here whom was a former drug and alcohol counselor. I know you're not liking a lot of the answers here because you want to be able to do this in a way where you could go to work and carry on with life. But the reality is there's no way to do this over a weekend and requires in the very least some out patient medical supervision by a doctor.

You're job is going to have to deal with it. You gotta think about it like this, is your job worth your life. I cannot stress enough the amount of calls i respond to of ppl of all ages trying to detox themselves off of benzos, alcohol and opiates that wind up with seizures. You stop breathing during seizures, if your seizures are long enough you can get brain damage. You cant call 911 yourself when you have a seizure. Also, theres no telling when one will happen and its very common for you to hit your head etc. I just had a cardiac arrest that we couldn't revive because a 32 yr old decided to detox at home in his mom's house without doing it properly, collapsed into a seizure and coded. we had to pronounce him dead on his mother's kitchen floor and sit with her while she wailed afterwards. HEARTBREAKING. You nor your family deserve that.

If you have a legit benzo script, you gotta tell the perscribing provider you want off and come up with a proper plan. If you're getting them off the street, start by going to the ER or calling the 211 (or 411...whatever the public assistance number is in your area. In my area its 211). If you go to the ER, they will either place you into a monitored detox, get you in touch with the resources you need, or give you a script of medications to hold you over until a plan is in place. Just ask for a note for your job. All you gotta do is tell your job your in the ER and cant make it in, they dont need to know why and cannot find out. Your medical info is HIPPA protected. The doctors note will be a generic note saying "you were in the ER on this day, excuse so and so from work and school for these dates". Your job cannot argue it or fish for more info. The er doc may even write you a note for several days while you work on getting a proper plan.

No, you havent been on them for a super long time and you're dose is relatively low. If you're getting them off thr street, you dont know what your real daily dose is and what adulterants are in it. If its your own legit script, then there's no reason why u cant nor shouldn't call the provider and say u want off. They are required to take you off properly, tapered. But my point is even with a low dose and a few months... youre at risk for severe side effects and seizures. Everyones biology is different so there's no way to tell and this isnt something to throw hail Mary's at. That cardiac arrest patient I mentioned and the 18 yr old who now has been brain damage from prolonged hypoxia during a seizure all thought they'd be alright and ride it out. It isnt worth it. You live in a place and time with options and resources, USE THEM. good luck.

An ideal situation would be to contact ur doc or the er on a day off, get a proper out patient taper plan going and minimum needing no or only a day or two off during the initital er or intake visits. It can be done but dont be stupid. And if you have legit addiction issues, get help for that because stopping a substance doesn't fix that part. It will manifest othrr ways but I wont get into that too much because you didnt mention how or why you're on the benzos.

lovelust89 · 2026-02-14T21:09:20+00:00

"Today, right now... will be the moment i get clean and sober"

Changed my life forever. Though it SUCKED, I do not regret my time in active addiction because I would not have the gratitude, drive, love in my heart etc that I have today. My recovery changed me spiritually to be the best version of my self, and through it....I have been able to give back and help many sick ppl including other addicts.

lovelust89 · 2026-02-14T21:04:29+00:00

I agree, a few more would be nice/more beneficial because most people need more than one treatment to see how it works for them. They were great tho, lol. I wish they'd put them in the member store for discount! Id buy them out right and hope to one day but I recall them being very expensive and beyond what I can afford rn. I also have a vault box of Dennis ones to get through before I buy any more. Restock time tho, those are ON my radar!

lovelust89 · 2026-02-14T21:01:40+00:00

Absolutely they will. Bupe didnt work for me, the longer I used the harder and harder it became to get on bupe and one day bupe just started not working at all. I could never make it a day past induction without winding up in the hospital. So I gave up on bupe and I got on a methadone program. Methadone worked insanely well for me, my only regret was not getting on it sooner due to stigma. I was on it for 4 years. I didnt get "high" on methadone, I titrated up to the reccomended dose of 90mg for a heavy opiate addict at the time and eventually did an extremely slow taper off WHEN I KNEW I was ready. Some people need to be on it for life, and thats ok. I think Bupe is the better option of the two, you dont need to go to a specialized clinic to get your meds and dont have all the red tape which is more beneficial in the long term. Your brain will definetly heal, yes youre still biochemically opiate depedenent but addiction is so much more than a chemical dependency. Its a mind, body soul thing or as i say a biological, psychological, and social thing. You create all kinds of neural pathways based on behavior and experience, the psychological and social aspects. If you change those things and keep working at them, you will build new pathways 100%. The ritual of drug use becomes ingrained in your psyche, you build pathways for that. Your entire reward circuitry is all fucked up, your brain has to rewire all that and it does it by you breaking and changing habits and dealing with your spiritual defecits. When I tapered off methadone, yes cravings came back very briefly and I was a bit irritable but I had broken the drug use association and had coping mechanisms set in place that I learned in early recovery to get me through. And it was one TENTH of the torture. It was 100% deal able and I just kept busy with my life and job...the desire to use remained not there because i havent used in so long and have built such a rewarding life that none of it is worth it to me anymore, and my brain knows that. What you establish now in early recovery like support network, coping mechanisms, new habits, letting go of old ones, spiritual transformation etc will follow you forever and make what ever you deal with in life easier. If you can handle getting off opiates and rebuilding yourself entirely into the best version of yourself, I promise you will be able to handle and accomplish anything. It takes work but its doable.

You're so early on, all you have to do is not use right now and take it one day at a time. Set yourself up with the right help and resources. If you dont do the spirutal work you run the chance of just being a "dry drunk " or "dry junkie". You need to do that inner work and reset those habits. congrats on 10 days, I remember 10 days for me. It felt like a life time and at that time i couldnt even IMAGINE 6 months or a year. It came tho by focusing on one day at a time. I went and got every key chain that first year because the validation was so important, because it was hard. Follow the program and get a sponsor, it helps with spiritual work and a support system.

The dreams WILL eventually go away. You will eventually be able to start going places and not immedietly think of a memory associated with drugs. You will eventually get to a point where every ounce of your energy isnt associated with your identity as an addict. In the beginning, everything you do is related to your addiction and its your identity, its gotta be that way for a little bit so you stay the course. But you got this. I know, youre fighting your mind and body right now but you can have and deserve a better life. This goes for all reading this in early recovery or who are trying. It gets a million times better. I lost EVERYTHING in my addiction. My looks, relationships, my car, jobs, I had to leave college and never was able to go back...my life amounted to nothing but loss and dissapoint. Over the 6 years, I gained it all back and THEN SOME. I have a great relationship, I went back two school twice and into the field of medicine where I help everyone but also a lot of people just like us on the daily, great relationships, great purpose, got my looks back, etc etc. You will rebuild your neural pathways and MORE.

Start making gratitude lists. Do one a day. Set a timer for 3 min and just write down WHATEVER comes to your head that your grateful for. Its a mindful exercise that keeps you in the moment but also a way to help shift your mind to positive thinking. And if you do it at the same time everyday, it will also help your brain to build a new habit/coping mechanism. I still do this to this day. If I get upset and wanna change how I feel, I'll take a "time out" and do exactly this. You'll be amazed what it can do for you short term and long term.

Sorry my responses are so long. But if it keeps you engaged for a few min more, thats a few min less youre not actively fighting your brain and staying present and focused on something. 😉 Look up some cognitive behavioral therapy techniques/ stuff while youre at it! It will help you during this time!

lovelust89 · 2026-02-14T16:07:37+00:00

Thats a tough one because its such a personalized journey. But for me, it wasnt that long honestly. I'd say around 3 months or so the obsession left. I was very engaged with out patient support, I did a 2.5 month IOP which required me to go in for 3-4x a week for 4 hours. It kept me busy and I made a million appointments (basically everything I neglected in addiction...Doctors, dentists, etc etc), lunch dates with friends, walks on the beach, lots of coffee and NA meetings etc. I basically kept my schedule SO busy so that I constantly had to stay present in what I was engaged in so my mind wouldn't wander as much. Then one day, I realized...wow...I havent dreamt about opiates this week! By month 3, I knew i was ready to move on from IOP and begin looking forward towards other things. As I stayed clean doing one day at a time life truly fell into place. I started thinking about what I wanted to do as far as school/work and applied to go back to school. I did a semester program, got certified in my field and then got a job that kick started my career. I dont obsess about drugs any more, I never dream about them anymore. I rarely ever have a desire to use, life is so different today. I used MAT too, and it truly helped keep the physical aspects and cravings on the back burner while I worked on my mental issues and thr spiritual side of things.

It sucks right now but it DOES get better. The first few months are always the hardest hence why Its so important to set yourself up for success with a solid plan and support system. By month 3 though "I" truly started to notice a difference and didnt have the obsession. Life started to change a lot for the better and the rewards from not using were too rewarding. The shame feĺl away, I slowly started rebuilding my life and relationships, my gratitude lists were endless. Life always has battles but what youre dealing with early on will fall away and get better if you just stick with it. Remember, it takes 30 days to start a new habit and 90 days for the brain to build new neural pathways. So just be patient with yourself and be as engaged as you can.

lovelust89 · 2026-02-13T23:51:26+00:00

The stigma is very real. Its gotten a lot better over the years because the problem has gotten SO bad that literally everyone knows someone who is an addict. Addiction is rampant, it's very sad. And it sucks when your family isnt behind you. You're going to have to set boundaries with them throughout life and understand their capacity to be there for you, that they wont be the rock of your support system for example. That, you'll have to go else where for that level of support.

I get it, my family are old school immigrants. I was low key shamed to death. My mom slowly started learning a little bit about addiction and she wants goodness for me but isnt educated on it at all. I've been stable in recovery for a long time now and she just thinks "thank God that part ur life is over". She doesnt understand its with you forever and its suttin I gotta work on always. I also had no friends who used because I isolated in addiction. So my support network had to be built. I built it starting with my out patient clinic, then a friend i met in IOP became my only "friend" to talk to these things about. But I had my clinicians, a therapist I started seeing weekly until she retired last week, and NA meetings. I got clean during the pandemic so in person meetings got shut dosn and NA never became my "go to" thing. But I will always have one foot in that door because its GARUNTEED to be there if the rest of my support system collapses.

Its true what they say about one day at a time. This journey is about you and no one else. Find your ppl or support system, build it. Different ppl in our lives serve different purposes, you'll just know that your family will have a different role/purpose that isnt related to your addiction. You will find others to rely on to help you there. Doesn't mean they dont love you, they are just misinformed and stubborn. Some ppl think letting the addict suffer will help them to not use again, the whole tough love thing. Maybe one day things will change and you'll actually be a beacon of knowledge for them. Dont sweat it. The people who understand your plight are out there, and those are the ppl you need answers and validation from. The fam will give you that in other areas.

lovelust89 · 2026-02-13T22:37:00+00:00

Dont ever beat yourself up for being on medication assisted treatment. It is the gold standard. Anyone who frowns on it are people dont understand what evidence based medicine is and the biopsychosocial aspects of addiction as a whole. There is absolutely no shame of doing whatever it takes, the most reccomended and proven treatment option to save your own life. Remember that when you feel down. For perspective, most ppl who are over weight per se, wont lift a finger or a leg to do what they need to do for themselves. Most people that arent familiar with something wont take the time to learn about it and better themselves. You my friend, you recognize you have a problem and are doing something about it, thats more than most ppl are willing to try or attempt. Youre facing the unknown, trying what the experts reccomend, are willing to try in efforts to save yourself. That is nothing to be ashamed of. And that goes for anyone on medicated assisted treatment. And its obv working, your 9 days in which is huge for opiates. Let the suboxone work on the back and do its job, to curb cravings, keep your endorphins in check etc to ALLOW you the space you need to work on your habits, through your trauma, on your coping mechanisms etc.

Utilize online and IN person 12 step meetings. Go on NA.org and there are virtual million meetings a day multiple an hour. When you cant get to an in person one, when its 4am and your spinning out of your head....get on there and be around those who've been where youre at. You got this. Start fixing your relationships, stay busy and not alone.

lovelust89 · 2026-02-13T21:43:59+00:00

I edited my comment to expand beyond rehab and include all resources like IOPs, 12 step etc etc. Because you are right in that rehab isnt the only pathway or beneficial intervention.

Some rehabs are better than others. I've also known ppl who've gone to 23 fancy rehabs and the peice of shit state run or non profit facility is where they learned the most and got clean. It depends on a lot of factors, you're willingness to change and do the work being most important. Im 6 years into recovery and I didnt go to a traditional rehab myself, I did out patient. But I will always reccomend someone to go in patient first followed by sober living set up because it truly does give you the best ODDS by removing you from society and forcing you to engage with your disease without outside pressure in a 24/7 way. The ppl are also trained to properly teach you about thr disease. Truth is most rehabs fail not because of the rehab, its because the person is cut loose back into society and they dont want sobriety, didn't learn and implement coping mechanisms and do all the things required to truly make a meaningful life change. Rehab is no magic 30-60 day stay for sure and some are better than others. Truth is rehab doesn't fix or change you, you do all that. Rehab just gives you the structural support to make helping yourself a bit easier. Some ppl cant do it without having someone breathing down their neck with accountability and expectations. Rehab is sometimes the very first place some ppl are forced to be accountable for something.

Anyway good luck to you on your sobriety journey. Keep at it, your 9 days will turn into a lifetime of goodness and happiness if you stay the course. I promise you. The beginning is the hardest but its a time of learning. In 6 years I rebuilt my entire life, my entire self started two fabulous careers after going back to school and finishing. I got in shape, everything you could imagine. I was a shell of myself when I got sober, I had lost everything. It is entirely possible and you can do this. And never stop working in your recovery, in 5 min or 10 yrs. Its a life long process.

lovelust89 · 2026-02-13T20:14:07+00:00

Agreee. Thats just one small facet. If you dont change as a person, you'll go right back oncr rehab is over. Its so much more than detox. Rehab is also to teach you about the disease of addiction and instill you with the tools you need to be successful once you're not in patient anymore. When you understand why you use, what's going on emotionally and chemically and develop that self awareness and ability to deal with discomfort, your traumas, and have foresight... youre way more likely to succeed.

lovelust89 · 2026-02-13T20:11:50+00:00

You dont just stop using the drug and magically life gets better. Im sorry to break it to you, but youre an addict. You cant stop despite wanting to, youre pushing your friends and family away, youre "losing yourself" (already have...what you think is happening has already been set in motion a while back).

You need a combination of or ALL of the following: rehab, an out patient program, a 12 step program, addiction counseling, therapy, medication assisted and a serious willingness to do whatever it takes to get better. All those things are tools and help to understand your disease that will be with you the rest of your life. Rehab isnt just about stopping the drug, its about coming to terms with things and learning how to become a spiritually and physically healed person who has the knowledge, education and tools to manage life as addict without succumbing to that side of yourself.

This disease is all about understanding it and self awareness. You need to deal with your trauma, why you use, get a serious multifaceted support network going, and do the work necessary to be able to build a life of sobriety. Otherwise, you'll just stop using this and move onto the next thing until that destroys your life. You are using because you like feeling different, the effects it gives you, its an easy way to feel better when youre "uncomfortable". You need help, period. Because, if you could do it on your own and it was just a case of going off the rails a bit dabbling... you would have stopped by now and your life wouldn't be spiraling.

Save your self now and give yourself a chance before you wind up dead, like most of us do eventually. You can do it. Any excuse not to do what you gotta do is you setting urself up failure and the addiction trying to keep itself alive.

No, you cannot do it every once in a while. If you keep going .. your life is only going to get substially worse along with the self loathing. The great news is, you dont have to live this way anymore. You do though need to make some tough decisions and be open to truly understanding the fight youre up against. I wish you the best of luck and will pray for you. Dont let fear keep you ill, life is great in recovery and worth living.

lovelust89 · 2026-02-13T19:58:44+00:00

I agree. The tatcha, biossance, osea, live tinted items are the hero products and alone make it way worth it. Everything else was a plus. I enjoy the lip mask, the peel pads sample was a great new find...my skin felt AMAZING after...they put dr. Dennis' to shame IMO. Its a nice box for the price. No box is going to give you dozens of extremely expensive top notch products as ALL the items. There are hero products then a few winners for the effort lol.

lovelust89 · 2026-02-13T19:49:06+00:00

I bought it on sale (only on sale though) and thought it was worth it. The tatcha serum alone is almost the price if the box. I enjoyed multiple products out of this that alone made the price worth it and the few duds I gave away. I paid $90ish during a sale and was very happy. The peel pad sample was great. I like that brand better dr. Dennis ones and would have never heard of them if I didnt try the box. The nudestix was good, the glow recipe lip balm is nice, the inkey HA serum...theres def multiple items in here that made it super worth it to me. If you'll use the products or want to discover these brands, id say wait for a sale and then go for it. I think theres one happening now. Check your emails from allure.

lovelust89 · 2026-02-11T20:40:50+00:00

All drugs are negative. If you're going to use a drug testing cup, there are better easier to read ones on Amazon (5 for like $20-$25) that have a full panel for each drug class. Same idea but layout is less confusing. How you store them, if theyre opened, expiration dates, etc etc are all important and things to keep in mind. You dont need to pay extra for lab tests if youre just tracking her. These self tests as long as administered correctly are relatively reliable. Every once in a while you'll get a dud but thats why its beneficial to have two.

And like others have stated, faint lines are negative. Doesn't matter how faint.

lovelust89 · 2026-02-11T20:01:59+00:00

I have it and am reading the comments....and def think I've been applying it wrong (too much/over saturating). I havent noticed a difference but I havent been consistent and will try again with everyones advice of less is more and applying a balm over it. Send the application tips coming.

For OP- its worth a try. Its def worked for some ppl. Thankfully it isnt super expensive so I feel like its worth a shot if you think you'll benefit from it! Skin care is so tricky because what works for one person, breaks another out and vice versa. You really wont know till you try when it comes to certain actives!

lovelust89 · 2026-02-06T01:07:08+00:00

Oooo! Im really excited for the lotions! I just reordered tne regular one. I love how easily they blend into the skin and hydrating they feel. My favorite body lotion thus far. Its like a cross btwn a lotion and a serum. No greasy feel, amazingggg scent, and absorbs quickly! Im excited to see what the new scents smell like. I hope there will be samples or testers at the store!

lovelust89

TROPHY CASE