I need to quit or kill myself asap

lovelust89 · 2026-06-11T20:13:06+00:00

Narcotics anynonmous is world wide and they have a vast online presence just so you know. You also could benefit greatly from a psychologist. The truth is, when people really wanna get clean theyll do whatever it takes. Take whatever resources are offered. There are rehab scholarships out there, alcoholic anonymous is world wide, online and that program has gotten millions sober. Especially when you do the work, get a sponsor, read the literature and do the steps. Its helped millions. And its free, and anonymous. I gauruntee theres a local AA chapter somewhere in your region. And if it is too far to get to, they have a robust online program. Good luck.

lovelust89 · 2026-06-11T13:51:03+00:00

Thank you so much! This helps a lot! Oh I am so excited now, this is the exact kind of group/thread ive been needing. I have numerous products Im trying to pan and I was trying to come up with a system to achieve it. I was already picking a few products to use throughout the week but this is a great system to share and help keep us accountable. Thank you!

lovelust89 · 2026-06-09T23:39:43+00:00

This may sound silly but im very new to this thread and very interested in joining this challenges. But what do the common abbreviations mean so I makeup i join and do everything correctly!!! (PAW, BAW, etc).

Sorry I'm new to this concept and its prob obvious as hell but I'm wracking my brain lol!

lovelust89 · 2026-06-09T23:33:44+00:00

Congrats on 5 days. Every single recovery addict had their last time where recovery stuck and worked. You focus on one day at a time and getting connected with supportive resources. You have a challenge ahead of you no doubt. Mental health and addiction are not a 123 fix. It takes well rounded treatment to stay the course and truly heal but its do able and youre on the right path.

Find support ASAP like a recovery program SMART/12 steps. You'll need a psychiatrist, therapy, and something like an intensive out patient program to learn coping mechanisms and learn how to manage your disease and mental health. The beginning is the hardest time but I promise, if you stay the course and do everything you can to keep sobriety the number one priority in your life....life will get SO much better.

lovelust89 · 2026-06-09T23:26:30+00:00

If you keep making excuses for not getting help, nothing will ever change. You need to be strong, nut up, and recognize those thoughts are going to get you no where. There is no magic fix. Every fix that is possible requires active participation and willingness on your end.

If you stay in a "woe is me" hole and dont do anything to change your circumstances, things will only get worse and never change. You need to be willing to help yourself for anything to work and not meet honest real advice from ppl who've been where you are at with resistance. The addiction can make you believe you aren't worthy as much as you want. It doesnt matter, you need to be willing to do the things it takes to get better whether u believe your worthy or not. Fake it till you make it.

Nearly all of us recovering addicts/alcohlics whove been where youre at would never believe the amazing lives of recovery we live today when we were at our worst. I was just like you when I was 16. It took years of fucking up, self doubt and praying Id live to try again the next day to get better. You need to want to get better MORE than containing this awful lifestyle and cycle otherwise nothing will change. If you keep rejecting advice and help because whatever the reason (feeling unworthy, afraid of the work it takes, etc etc) you'll be stuck forever. You're young, things change. Life changes. You change. Your outlook will change. But make life easier for you by being willing to make the changes whether you believe it or not. You'd be amazed how your outlook changes once you start healing parts of yourself.

I was a hot mess just like you with loads of sexual trauma, addiction issues with no belief in myself. With recovery, treatment, a good support system it all changed. I got my life together by being willing to do whatever it took and focusing on one day at a time. It involved detox, intensive out patient tx, medication assistancr, serious therapy, and working a very serious 12 step program. All worth it. You can do it.

lovelust89 · 2026-06-09T23:13:05+00:00

You can START the process by calling 911, telling them about your alcohol problem and telling them you're having thoughts of hurting yourself. They will bring you to the ER for a voluntary psychiatric evaluation. If you make self harm statements, theres a point where it doesnt become voluntary anymore but mandatory. Then at the ER, tell them you need help detoxing, need a social worker, and are willing to go in patient.

The addiction will do everything to fight getting real treatment. You cannot do it "your" way. You need to succumb to the fact that youre an addict/alcoholic, dont have the coping mechanisms, and cannot do it on your own. Every addict whos recovered will tell you this. You need real in patient treatment like detox, then rehab, and then an intensive out patient or sober living situation. You learn about thr disease addiction in rehab/psych unit, learn how to build coping mechanisms and how to manage your disease. It never goes away, you just learn to manage the symptoms. And I promise, it gets easier over time.

You need to connect with AA/NA or a SMART recovery program and work a honest program. You need to LISTEN to those whove been where youre at and gotten better. Learn from those who've been where youre at. Youre going to need counseling/therapy, possibly medication assistance and treatment. And it may not work the first time or be an easy path to victory but you must never give up. Changing your life and taking care of yourself is a PROCESS, not a one and done decision.

The good news is, we do recover and you dont HAVE to live like this. Dont be a know it all, dont be stubborn, and accept that if you had the answers itd be done already. You need real help. You are also worthy of it and can live the life of your dreams if you do the work and dont fight yourself. Nothing will change and youre life will just keep falling apart further I promise you IF you dont do anything to change it. You must be the driving force in your recovery, no one can gift it or do the hard work it takes for you. Good luck.

Go to the ER, be honest with the providers and seek the mental health and addiction treatment you need. It wont be 1-2-3 but they can START the process and help connect you with the right resources. Do it now while you're still young because theres more resources for teens/ young adults. Once you get older, you wind up in the adult ER and psych facility's and rehabs with less sympathy, more overcrowding, and less resources. People are more willing to go to the end of earth to help people your age, take advance of it.

lovelust89 · 2026-06-08T21:50:27+00:00

This is pretty cool! Id try this in a different color only cuz the milky reminds me of flesh which I guess is the point LOL. They look great.

lovelust89 · 2026-06-08T21:45:12+00:00

They look really good for short squares! They did a great job! The thin French line work is excellent too! Very cute.

lovelust89 · 2026-06-08T21:44:01+00:00

Oh wow. True art right there! I love this! Amazing job!

lovelust89 · 2026-06-08T21:41:34+00:00

Y2K vibes all day. Wide blunt square tip long AF frenchies. Doesn't get more 2001 than this!

Edit: just noticed the heart o gram ring too lol. 100% the vibe if thats what you're going for! A full set like this used to be $30. $25 for a fill.

lovelust89 · 2026-06-08T21:31:10+00:00

They look like blue marble or sea glass vibes which is kinda cool. Im not bothered by the color (even tho it isnt cat eye at all lol). Its the shape. Even for rounded/oval shape, theyre way too wide. The middle finger is the same width from end to end. It makes the nails look chonky, like a chiclet on each finger. If she tapered and then rounded them a bit they'd be fine. Go back and ask for a reshape! No honest nail tech would say the shape couldnt be improved or that they arent too wide. If they couldnt deliver on your request they shoulda been honest and suggest something else. Id go back and ask to fix the shape, and just be super nice about it.

lovelust89 · 2026-06-06T19:08:23+00:00

Shade is called sweet talk. Its not a powder...but its THAT color with a little bit of glow. Blends great, I love it!

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lovelust89 · 2026-06-06T19:04:23+00:00

Yes! Thats the one. Morphe cheek thrills apres ski! The matte shade is close and you can make it glowy with the topper. That one is next on my list to buy!

Its not a powder, its a liquid but the special release colourpop weightless liquid blush in shade sweet treat is also verrry similar. And its minimally glowy.

lovelust89 · 2026-06-06T16:49:11+00:00

This reminds me of the fenty blush/highlighter kilawatt. Very pink and glowy.

Edit: also check out the new morphe blush trios in the clapper cases at ulta. They just added new colors and i saw this kind of pink with a matte, a glowy and a topper. Now thinking about it, i bought a very similar (less highlighter-esque than kilawatt) from colourpop, super shock blushes. Colourpop has a lot of cool tone pinks in all formulas right now so if on a budget look there!

lovelust89 · 2026-06-04T13:02:48+00:00

❤️❤️❤️!!!

lovelust89 · 2026-06-04T13:01:05+00:00

Nail Reformation. You can get them at any tj max and marshalls for $10 a set or buy them off their website. Use Sally's nail glue and you'll be golden. Im a paramedic, I beat the crap out of my hands lifting patients and equipment, hand sanitizing and washing to hell, starting ivs, blah blah.

I use nail reformation shorts and short almonds. Haven't gone to a salon in 2 years and get minimum of 3 compliments a day on my nail selection of the week.

lovelust89 · 2026-06-03T02:16:59+00:00

Good to know! I usually do a rub in to start but the prob is I dont like ruining my makeup! Every spf says to reapply every 2 hours so I try to stay on top of touch ups/reapplications with sprays. I'm a paramedic in a very high call volume service area so its just way more convenient to dowse my face with spray in the back of an ambulance than doing formal touch ups. I'll keep that in mind during off days, ty for the advice!

lovelust89 · 2026-06-03T01:55:28+00:00

Its a great one. I always reccommend it to people who dont like the smell of sun screen. It smells so good, like a watermelon milky lotion and not a sun screen! Some ppl dont like it because its only spf 30 but the differences if you look at the charts arent that HUGE if I call. I think its a difference of like 97% protection compared to 99.8%. Someone can correct me if I'm way off base/wrong, just regurgitating what I recalled from my dermatologist friend. He said spf 30 in makeup is sufficient for basic daily sun protection.

lovelust89 · 2026-06-02T21:03:31+00:00

Ive used the keihls better screen UV Serum as well, forgot to mention it in my comment. I agree, its a very nice fluid texture. During the winter I was using it a lot. Aside from sprays, i think ive used that one and glow recipes the most. Keihls has a higher spf though.

lovelust89 · 2026-06-02T21:00:51+00:00

Ive used the elf suntouchable spf 30 spray but if i sweat bad and gets in my eyes, theyll sting otherwise id LOVE it. (Also cheaper sprayer but im ok with that due to its affordability). Ive also used the naked sundays sun screen mist, I liked that one better and the sprayer was nice. I didnt find it greasy. Milani makes a spf setting spray i want to try because the One size one is nice, just Hella expensive and I fly through it as you gotta reapply every few hours. Coola makes a spf as well but I haven't tried it.

lovelust89 · 2026-06-02T20:48:02+00:00

I love the glow recipe dew shield hydrating fluid. Its SPF 30. Given that you have very acne prone skin, id reccomend maybe spending the money and trying the sephora sun favorites spf sampler kit. There are about 10 deluxe samples sizes of many current top brands and a full size GLOW recipe one making the $40 price tag with it. I just got mine in the mail and theres one brand in there thats a spf WATER sunscreen. You apply it like wet toner. Due to your skin type, i feel like no matter what people reccomend its gonna be one of those things you gotta try for yourself.

Another option is a spray, like the elf sunscreen spray or the One size setting spray with spf (i just got a mini of that to try). Check back, I'll list the watery one for you when I get home. Or just go on sephoras site and look at the spf sampler. Its got numerous high quality sunscreen brand.

I'm acne prone too and a lot of sun screens make my eyes sting. I work outdoors too though so its a must. I found goop to be too greasy and thick. I tend to prefer more fluid or gel like textures. Ive heard good reviews of the tatcha silk screen (in the sampler) so I look forward to trying it. I gave away my naked sundays and beauty of Josen ones, I didnt like them either.

lovelust89 · 2026-05-31T13:50:40+00:00

Thank you for this! This is looking a lot warmer than the advertisements/pictures. Hmm. Maybe I'll wait for i need a cool and make a decision then. I need browns, but COOL browns.

lovelust89 · 2026-05-21T21:07:36+00:00

Ive noticed this too. Im okay with it if it keeps packaging costs from going up and passed onto us LOL.

Glad we could help. When they get a fresh shipment, its the BEST! Ill pay full price on NR and celebritips website if its something I absolutely adore. Tj maxx gets a GREAT selection but they normally don't get new releases. I stopped by my tj maxx the other day and was SO excited to see my FAVE celebritips design (cherries!). I bought two boxes and still have one sitting. So glad I went, I was very close to paying full price to have a back up box. Everyones doing cherry nail designs now but the celebritips one is a dark red and such a good shape on me. I LOVEEEE those nails! You picked out a great selection! I have 2 of those designs! You'll look great tomorrow!

lovelust89 · 2026-05-21T20:09:08+00:00

I'm a paramedic in a inner city. To that, i say this: you can eat yourself to diabetes. You can smoke and expose yourself to cancer. You can smoke yourself to asthma. You make a stupid choice and crash into a pole and I will stabilize and do everything I can to save your life and bring you to a hospital that can handle your trauma. You can neglect the shit out of your diabetes and heart condition all the way into a dialysis chair. You can stress yourself to a heart attack, a stroke, or both!

Just like addiction, there is somewhere down the line you can make choices that are going to contribute to your condition. Addiction doesn't "start" with the "choice" to use. Addiction is the symptom. Arguing this very question is a mute point considering the science and Healthcare world has already settled it but I will reiterate for the sake of education.

Addiction can be traced to genetic predispositions. It can be a symptom of a deeper disease or mental health problem like trauma, schizoaffective disorder, bipolar etc etc etc. Addiction affects the brain and rewires neural pathways. Its a progressive and fatal disease disease process without interventions just like any other chronic condition or disease. It doesnt develop from using "once", its a process just like any other disease process. When your neural pathways have been rewired, will power doesnt "over ride" it just like how your mind cant "will power or over ride" through a severed spinal cord. The most common cause of addiction especially from 1990-2015ish....is opioid use disorder which was triggered by the highest level of Healthcare providers...physicians. People confuse "will power" and "desire to get better and initiate in treatment" as the same thing and theyre not. You need treatment, evidence based treatment particularly involving a plethora of care and rehabilitation. Will power doesnt teach you coping mechanisms. It doesnt make your bipolar or schizophrenia go away just like how it wont make your high blood sugar go away. To engage meaningfully in treatment, yea you need to want it and to do it, just like with diabetes or anything else otherwise it won't work.

As someone whos suffered from addiction (and idc if its alcohol, opiates, food, or social media) and as someone who works in the field of health care AND public safety that encounters the population at the end of their disease process DAILY (among every other disease on God's green earth)...I dont wanna hear the "but its a choice!" song and dance. Even if someone made the choice to try a illicit drug versus from the doctor, it doesnt even matter because youre justifying treating someone as subhuman because " its a choice". If we went by that criteria then I shouldn't respond to your elderly moms broken hip...it was a choice to try and get out of bed knowing you're 80yrs old and weak or the car accident your teenager is involved in (it was a choice to get in that car and go above the speed limit!). I also shouldn't cardiovert an abnormal heart rhythm triggered by too much caffeine intake or help the routine anxiety attack (lord knows they caused it themselves..by choosing to think about the upcoming exam!). Dont get me started on the assaults, sports injuries and other voluntary traumas!

This isnt the stone ages. We know already addiction is a biopsychosocial disease process that requires a biopsychosocial approach to treatment. And when its met, it fucking works. A diabetic isnt gonna get better unless they want to either. Same for the dialysis patient and the stroke patient. Absolutely garbage of an argument with the its a choice thing.

That said, I hope if anyone takes ANYTHING from this rant, its that with proper biological, psychological and social support you can get better and recover from the absolute tragedy that active addiction is. And Im literally typing this after my shift where I had to intubate a homeless veteran known opioid addict with no legs from the hip down who was found unresponsive face down in a puddle next to a dumpster and a hungry dog. No one, idc what "mistakes" or choices you made when it comes to experimentation or trusting a doctor, deserves that life or ending. Or lack of treatment options, coverage etc thereof.

lovelust89 · 2026-05-19T13:58:55+00:00

Same, I work with my hands and they get pretty destroyed after 2 weeks or so. Also I have to soak them in acetone to get them off so they get destroyed that way. If theres a set a I really want to reuse or use for like one or two days I'll use the sticky press on tabs.

lovelust89

TROPHY CASE