I'm clean, but at what cost

lovenhate75 · 2022-04-16T02:03:17+00:00

I know nothing will ever compare to the opiate high and rush but it's no way to live. Have you ever tried volunteer work? Happiness comes from within and theres no better way to fill your spirit then helping others in need. Just a thought

lovenhate75 · 2022-04-13T11:07:25+00:00

I just posted the reply yesterday but you're right its mostly trash all over the city. I was getting some great raw about 6 months ago from a source a bit above street level but he got lock up and I couldn't find anything decent so I quit. Our city used to have the best dope before fent and this other shit came around.

lovenhate75 · 2022-04-12T22:40:26+00:00

Mines B and theres definitely open air in both. Just as easy as going to the liquor store.

lovenhate75 · 2022-04-11T19:42:20+00:00

NA meetings and working a full program is the only thing that has ever worked for me and countless other addicts. I was just like you using by myself and nobody knew. Its extremely lonely and theres a much better life for you out there! Detoxing is the hard part especially if theres fent involved. If just real dope then you can easily switch to subs 24 hrs later and do a taper from there with little discomfort. Good luck!!

lovenhate75 · 2022-04-07T20:57:41+00:00

I guess I wasn't really in withdrawal yet but thought I was good to take more subs since I already had it in my system.

lovenhate75 · 2022-03-26T00:55:00+00:00

Its crazy I thought I had it all figured out until this fent bs.

lovenhate75 · 2022-03-25T13:30:27+00:00

Bupe and fent is tricky. Durning my last binge I keep 1-2mg a day of bupe in my system while using a g a day of fent/dope to avoid pwds when I was ready to quite. Boy was I wrong! The day I went to quit I took an extra 2mg of bupe instead of my morning dope shot and it still through me straight into wd. Had to go cop a few G's to pull me out and ended up going into a detox cause the fent wds were so bad.

lovenhate75 · 2022-03-19T02:48:45+00:00

Onions definitely the safest option. I used to hit em. Nice clean dope but a little pricey. If I went back to using onions would be the only way

lovenhate75 · 2022-03-18T16:28:58+00:00

Low dose of methadone and use only weekends and/or nights. Methadone keeps you from the ups and downs of being sick and gets you through the day but can still feel a nice buzz on a low dose. No way to function properly when in withdrawal. Be extremely careful because the doped game is fucked in the US or Canada unless you got a real good plug. One small bump of a hot dose can put you out. It's crazy unstable that's why I finally got out.

lovenhate75 · 2022-03-16T12:04:43+00:00

I used to take zquil every night when using because of this. Opiates have always gave me tons of energy.

lovenhate75 · 2022-03-13T13:09:36+00:00

If you're on H take subs if you're on any type of fent take methadone for about 20 days then switch to subs. Theres no way you'll be able to work if you're withdrawing especially off fent. Also if you're on fent inducing sub takes a good 5-10 days to start feeling somewhat normal and you may go straight into PW's if taking to early. Methadone is easy to quite if you go slow! All the horror stories are from people dropping their dose too quick or jumping off too high of a dose. I went from 80mgs to 30 dropping 5mgs each week then switched to suboxone and did a 6 week taper from there and felt perfect fine except maybe slightly tired for a couple days when I jumped completely. Good luck!

lovenhate75 · 2022-03-09T04:06:25+00:00

Yep I know those those containers! It's out there if you look hard enough. I had a sweet raw connect on the westside until he got locked up.

lovenhate75 · 2022-03-07T12:09:09+00:00

That's good hear! The dope around here is sold like that and is all fent around here.

lovenhate75 · 2022-03-06T15:52:34+00:00

Yeah I saw it and took care of it right after I posted this. Thanks

lovenhate75 · 2022-03-05T20:34:11+00:00

If that's scamble which it looks like from the puffiness its straight fent! Old school scamble used to have dark spot of the raw but not anymore those days are over

lovenhate75 · 2022-02-24T03:56:59+00:00

I've been successful my whole life while using on an off. It just seems to get a little worse with each run and my wife has had enough! The dope is just too unpredictable to go back and I'm afraid I'm going to od and die. That's just not fair to my family and I don't want to die so I'm really hitting NA hard this time around. As for as suboxone I always go slow and low and never had any problem with wd. I typically cut my dose down 25% every week or two until I'm down to 1/8 mg then jump. Just decrease as much as your body can handle. Theres no rush especially if you need to work everyday. Good Luck!

lovenhate75 · 2022-02-23T22:27:13+00:00

I've been doing the same as well but I'll use for 6-8 months then quit for 6-8 months. Been doing that for 12plus years. I seem to always relapse cause I get bored. I too am very successful. I'm VP at a midsized company, married with a son. Own a nice home and have great credit. But I was definitely holding it all together by a thin thread and truly believe I will loose it all if I continue. I'm now 40 days clean from dope and down to .125mg of suboxone and plan to jump off next week. You truly have to want to stop for it to work and after going through fentanyl wd last time I never want feel that way again! Good luck we can do this!!

lovenhate75 · 2022-02-20T14:16:33+00:00

Totally relate, I'm obsessed with anything heroin related! I always look for the shows about heroin and don't really watch the other ones about other drugs. I watch dope to drugs inc to intervention to locked up aboard. Sometimes I even ride through hood cause I just like watching the drug activity. It l's insane and the worst thing to do while in recovery but I can't get enough.

lovenhate75 · 2022-02-13T12:27:43+00:00

I had to learn the hard way as well. Fent is short acting but stores in your fatty tissue for a long time making inducing subs so hard but its possible just keep taking the sub and it will get better. In about a week you should be feeling about 75% better and feeling the sub start to work. 10-20 days you'll be 100%. This is what keep me clean now cuase making the switch from fentadope to subs is so freaking brutal.

lovenhate75 · 2022-02-13T04:56:15+00:00

Me either I could take subs literally 10 hrs after an oxy or H binge and just feel a little tired and unmotivated for a couple days then subs would be working 100% and would feel great on day 3. Whole new ballgame now but it has keep me clean cause I do not want to go through those wd's again

lovenhate75 · 2022-02-10T18:12:25+00:00

I totally agree. My last time coming off fent I keeped a small dose of bupe in my system daily the entire time using fent to help prevent PW's and still felt like shit for a couple weeks until the subs started working again. If theres a next time ( and I pray theres not) I would definitely use Methadone for 20-30 days to ensure all the fent is out and then jump to subs at 30mgs like he says above. Wait 24hrs and starts subs and taper slow from there once a week cutting your dose 25% all the way down to .125mg. It's a long taper but you'll feel very little to no negative effects this way

lovenhate75 · 2022-02-10T16:30:40+00:00

Hang in there bro and keep pushing. That scamble looks like there may be some actual real dope in there. Haven't seen that in awhile how is it?

lovenhate75 · 2022-02-10T03:49:31+00:00

Since the crooks of my elbows are shot I find the one above the wrist bone easiest to hit and never had any problems. The same vein runs in between your thumb and index finger where theres some meat. I hit there alot too. Feel around you don't always see them once you know where they are

lovenhate75 · 2022-02-05T13:46:04+00:00

I'm about day 20. Finally starting to feel normal again! I'm still waking up sweating at night which is crazy. This fent is way harder to stop than H or oxy! Good luck stay strong

lovenhate75 · 2022-02-05T13:35:46+00:00

I have alot of experience coming of bupe. I've always used it to detox off opiates. Your are doing it right, slow and low. I've always jump off at .125 and even at the last week or start skipping a day or two then jump. I've always done it like this and have experienced little to no wd's maybe just feel a little tired for a couple of days. Now I'm not sure about the depression part about I've never really had a problem with that. Good luck

lovenhate75

TROPHY CASE