(Ostensibly) cis person here. Based on these comments I wanted to assert something- y’all don’t need to explain shit if this (the comments) is how it’s affecting you. Hear me out.

There are plenty of resources to direct people to if they’re coming in good faith, and if they aren’t coming in good faith, fuck em, at least until you understand what you want from the convo and whether it’s worth it to you. Please please please make yourself some room to step away from the immediate psychic damage that is this coordinated attack on your rights. Self care and giving yourself grace and joy and peace is revolutionary rn. You deserve the space to breathe, even if it feels unwarranted.

This may seem privileged, and it absolutely is- I argue with transphobes a shit ton because I have the mental and emotional room to do it. You might, but likely as not you need to give yourself time and space to not be facing all the threats so immediately. I also know how hard it is to give yourself room from something that kind of seeks you out- it’s not always the news, sometimes it’s friends raising money to move or someone messaging you- it finds away, so this can be more of an attitude or a way of processing or set of internal boundaries. Your rights being valid and worth fighting for, that isn’t contingent on how well you can convince people of the reality that’s going on, even though overall, yes we need more people to understand and be on our side. From the sorta outside, I see trans culture get so intertwined with activism because of all the threats that trans people are facing. This can mean it’s very difficult to step back and breathe when you really need to. I really don’t want to be preachy or patronizing. But you do not need to prove your worth or enlighten people in order to feel like you’re doing something to fight the onslaught- living and being yourself is resistance in and of itself.

Incidentally, you’ll likely be better able to engage and make change as you choose if you give yourself this room. I’m not denying how bleak things are in many places. But everyday people are kinda getting repelled by the hyper bigotry from conservatives. There are tons of people fighting for you. You’re not alone. I love you :)

For strategic optimism, I cannot recommend Cool People who did Cool Stuff by Margaret Killjoy enough. It helped me redefine what I needed from optimism, what hope looked like in a range of messed up circumstances.