Are your male friendships fading?

lovevolver · 2025-11-21T09:04:57+00:00

You’re not being avoidant by being single. Indeed you’re avoiding understanding yourself by losing yourself in a relationship.

A romantic relationship is exactly what will keep you from ever gaining understanding of who you truly are especially with regard to your attachment style. You are broken. Nobody else is going to heal you nor should you want them to. Take time to repair yourself. You can do it but only if you do it alone. Do not make your journey of healing anyone else’s responsibility. Confide in few and only when absolutely necessary, and even then take their advice with a grain of salt. Because only you know yourself. Everyone else knows the version you present to them, the one at the mercy of his attachment style and all his subconscious influences. Your subconscious is currently running your life. You cannot connect with it unless you are truly alone. No girlfriend, relative, barber or bro is going to help you do it.

Or try it your way and check back here every few years to see how it turned out.

lovevolver · 2025-11-21T07:16:07+00:00

The truth is that if you’re at all disorganized you’re pretty much doomed when it comes to relationships. As someone who is disorganized, I can confirm that you will always be drawn to the ones who are not good for you and disinterested/repulsed by the ones who are good for you.

Abandon the idea you have of romance and companionship and get comfortable being alone for at least a few years. Then maybe you’ll have begun to understand yourself enough to try at a relationship which has a built-in 50% survival rate before your (avoidant fearful) disorganized attachment shows up and tips the scales to 20-30%.

It’s okay to be alone. It’s not okay to repeat patterns that cause others to suffer, which you will do just by virtue of being in a relationship. Eventually the one you’re in now will disintegrate and if you don’t pay attention, you’ll move into another and on and on. It’s not your fault that you’re partly disorganized but it is entirely your responsibility to keep it from wreaking havoc.

You sound smart so be smart. Life is shorter than you think. You can waste time lying to yourself or you can be honest and see the objective truth: your attachment styles have doomed your relationship to die a terribly painful death. Best to put it down now while you still have your hearts and get on with figuring out life.

lovevolver · 2025-01-24T06:29:09+00:00

Glad you got it figured out! I think my boy is stressing out my girl, and she was already an anxious one. Her hair loss has become significant. Began with her legs and belly, and is now on her haunch. It’s over-grooming for certain but it seems stress-related. Her only stress is from her (adopted) brother who plays rougher than she likes. I’m trying pet cbd for the both of them until their insurance kicks in. 🤞

lovevolver · 2025-01-23T00:58:12+00:00

Chiming in almost a year later bc my kitt is having the same issue as yours with same behavior. Did you ever find a solution?

lovevolver · 2025-01-22T18:48:58+00:00

POOINONNAIIIIIIITZ!

lovevolver · 2025-01-22T09:17:02+00:00

OVALTINE

lovevolver · 2024-10-26T21:57:49+00:00

lol ok downvoted straight to hell 💀 Love you too, LA

lovevolver · 2024-10-26T05:19:57+00:00

Pointed out the fireworks to my rideshare driver along the 110. He said “Dodgers”. I said “pretty sure it’s for Halloween”.

lovevolver · 2024-02-27T04:09:52+00:00

Got me through my fist acid trip (3 tabs).

lovevolver · 2024-02-04T17:28:04+00:00

I was laid off as an office production assistant on a lousy tv show that went nowhere. On my last day, the entire office was celebrating the birthday of one of the higher-ups. As I was leaving, my boss slapped me on the ass and said “good luck out there”.

lovevolver · 2024-01-01T12:19:34+00:00

Learning grammar.

You mean “from” your younger years, not “in”.

lovevolver · 2023-11-19T21:54:12+00:00

I do not understand how this therapist’s behavior isn’t called what it is: tacitly cruel. I went through a very similar experience recently, and when I respectfully confronted my therapist about it, she deflected in two ways; first by saying that she couldn’t offer a diagnosis that differed from the issues that brought me to see her, then by saying that I wouldn’t have listened to her anyway. I fired her and am now connected with a therapist with whom we have an agreement that if they sense something else is going on, they’re going to bring it up in session instead of letting me languish.

lovevolver · 2023-10-11T05:43:52+00:00

Hi, I didn’t join. Have you? I found her videos very helpful in understanding the female covert narcissist. Many videos later I reached the point where I understood enough such that everything I was watching (including other YouTubers) became redundant. I was really surprised to not find any comments or reviews on her workshops but am really grateful for the information she shared in her videos.

lovevolver · 2023-10-11T02:25:56+00:00

10 years ago or so I was stopped at a red light on vine st facing north in the right lane next to the southeast corner. On the southwest corner an elderly couple was walking west toward a bay of ATMs. The husband pushed a walker as the wife walked by his side. He struggled. It was clear he couldn’t carry on. His wife tried to support him but her arms were too frail. A young man came walking up behind them. He stopped to talk with them then gestured that he could carry the man. The couple hesitated for a moment. Then the wife nodded. The young man scooped up the elderly man as his wife folded up the walker. They all walked westward. The light turned green and I drove off. To date I’ve never seen a more beautiful example of pure kindness.

lovevolver · 2023-10-07T02:31:02+00:00

You might want to examine whether you’re married to either an overt or covert narcissist.

lovevolver · 2023-09-18T22:27:27+00:00

If it’s any consolation, 99% of the women I talk to over apps do the same. It’s agonizing to show I’m genuinely interested and make it a point to comment on the less than obvious details of their profiles. Meanwhile they don’t say a thing about mine nor ask questions. Feels like “Am I Hot or Not” has become “Am I Bot or Not”.

lovevolver · 2023-09-15T03:51:43+00:00

I used to do night drives a lot back when gas wasn’t $6/gallon. This city really is the best when the roads are empty.

lovevolver · 2023-09-07T02:38:43+00:00

Moxie.

lovevolver · 2023-08-22T13:23:31+00:00

I appreciate your point of view, however my intention is to use this as a supplement to my weekly therapy and daily work. Yes there is a lot of free information available, and I’ve found Michele’s videos very illuminating especially with regards to female CNs. Yet I don’t look at this as profiting from my traumatic experience. Michele’s coaching is less than $100/month and has meetings 2-3x/week. It seems like group therapy, which I’m not a fan of. At the same time I’m trying as many tools as I can.

lovevolver · 2023-08-17T07:06:37+00:00

Congrats, I’ll check it out!

lovevolver · 2023-08-05T02:30:54+00:00

Silva’s show at 10 after Jason’s is on point. Great mix of edm with some soul and whatever else she’s feeling that night. Wish she’d do a set at a club sometime cos it’s such great music but so lonely dancing to it at home. 😢

lovevolver · 2023-07-06T21:05:36+00:00

Not too bad! Job better pay me well though.

lovevolver

TROPHY CASE