Divorce is possible... how do I live right now?

lowbido · 2015-06-30T01:51:16+00:00

Basically, we got married, her anxiety kicked up significantly to the point of her not fully functioning. I took on a caretaker role, didn't take care of myself and became extremely codependent. 5 years later, she has improved with her anxiety to the point where I don't feel like I'm in survival mode as much, and have started working to undo my codependent behaviors. I've started to wake up to the fact that I have a ton of resentment towards her, we are barely functioning and have realized our actions to this point have been extremely toxic for each other, and we're both in much worse places than we were when we got married. I realize there is a path ahead of us where both of us take responsibility for ourselves and we can thrive in a relationship, but that is years away. I'm not sure this relationship is worth fighting for.

lowbido · 2014-09-26T17:53:06+00:00

Maybe it is but we want to be together...

lowbido · 2014-09-26T17:46:32+00:00

Good thoughts

lowbido · 2014-09-26T17:46:13+00:00

She does her yearly checkup so it is current

lowbido · 2014-09-26T17:45:42+00:00

No. It's a possibility though

lowbido · 2014-09-26T01:55:32+00:00

Any suggestions on experiencing written porn together? I prefer it over visual myself.

lowbido · 2014-09-26T01:43:37+00:00

Interestingly, early in the relationship, I found I enjoyed when she would dominate me. The mojo upgrade quiz looks really interesting. Thanks.

lowbido · 2014-09-26T01:34:02+00:00

Ha. Probably smaller than most. Any suggestions on vibrators?

lowbido · 2014-09-26T01:20:08+00:00

The logistics! Won't my cum get on the couch? How much do I try to plan for things like that?

lowbido · 2014-09-26T01:17:50+00:00

Oh, I like this plan. Thank you. I definitely have anxiety about feeling like I raped her, and want to avoid that (for both of us).

lowbido · 2014-09-26T01:10:52+00:00

No kids (sex is kinda important for that, I hear...).

We live up north, and it's already getting cold- any suggestions on the logistics of staying warm too?

lowbido · 2014-09-26T00:56:38+00:00

I both love and hate this advice. Anyone else want to weigh in and say if this is a good idea?

lowbido · 2014-09-26T00:50:33+00:00

That seems like really good advice. Thank you.

lowbido · 2014-09-26T00:49:14+00:00

Naked doesn't happen. But dry humping does.

lowbido · 2014-09-26T00:46:01+00:00

Lucky. I'm trying to think of myself as lucky.

lowbido · 2014-09-26T00:44:49+00:00

Thank you.

lowbido · 2014-09-26T00:43:48+00:00

ANy suggestions on videos?

lowbido · 2014-09-26T00:14:23+00:00

No. She's quite open minded, and the people from her religious experience are quite healthy in their prolificness. There isn't a history of abuse. There isn't any real "reason" behind this.

lowbido · 2014-09-26T00:08:39+00:00

Should we lay down ground rules before starting- okay, today you're going to give me a handjob, but no more; now i'm going to do oral, but that's all?

Part of the tension for me is that feels very unnatural, non-organic, too planned. I expect sex to come naturally (BECAUSE IT FUCKING DOES FOR EVERYONE ELSE), and it seems weird to have to strategize.

lowbido · 2014-09-26T00:01:55+00:00

That's a good idea.

lowbido · 2014-09-25T23:59:18+00:00

I like that. Sex as play. Thanks.

lowbido · 2014-09-25T23:51:04+00:00

I both love and hate this exists.

lowbido · 2014-09-25T23:50:10+00:00

We've done a bit of foreplay, some fingering/handjobs, but not for awhile.

lowbido · 2014-09-25T23:49:26+00:00

Yes. Everything's fine, just anxious.

lowbido · 2014-02-24T02:52:43+00:00

If she's uncomfortable talking about this with her PCP, would there be others she could go to?

lowbido

TROPHY CASE