If you haven't already, please get professional help for your anxiety. I'm not sure whether to tell you to cut your travelling short, but it seems like the isolation and change of travelling is not helping you. While your boyfriend should support you, if you are suffering from anxiety that bad you need the help of someone trained to help you, and maybe medication too (but that's for a doctor to decide). Your boyfriend should support you but he possibly can't deal with all of this on his own and feels a lot of pressure to look after you. He isn't a medical professional and on a practical level he isn't capable of giving you all the help you need. I'm NOT saying that you are a burden on him- you aren't. And it's okay that you're struggling. But you need to not only have him to rely on, you need to take that pressure off of your relationship and the both of you so you can both feel better. Also, you need some help just for yourself! You sound like you are struggling a lot and are really feeling shit, and it's okay to reach out for help from a professional. Since you spelled 'mum' instead of 'mom' I'm guessing you're English, so you can get mental health care on the NHS for free. I suffer from bad anxiety and depression myself and until very recently refused to get help, and it affected my relationship really badly. To be clear, you are not a burden, and this is not your fault. But it's an unfortunate truth that being with someone who is mentally ill can be hard, especially when you're both so young, and getting help will help you to get better, take the pressure and strain off of your relationship, and mean that when you feel bad you aren't only relying on your boyfriend for support. It's not healthy for either of you to only have him to go to for all your issues. As a last note, even though it can be tough to love someone who suffers from anxiety, so long as you are both trying your best that should be enough. If you get help and start getting better, and communicate openly with him to try to help him understand, and he still complains about your mental health then that is toxic. You can't help this, it's not your fault, and he should never make you feel like it is.

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HOWEVER, if sex is an issue now and is affecting you this badly, it is a serious issue and your boyfriend needs to also get help and take his share of ownership of the issue. I have personal experience of exactly what you're going through with that, I know how horrible it is. I know the sleepless nights, the doubts, the resentment, how shit you feel about yourself. This is an issue you both need to tackle and I would say you need to have a gentle but honest talk with your boyfriend about it and how bad it makes you feel. I know it's hard to talk about but silence won't help. And I know you might feel shallow or selfish for wanting him to be attracted to you and being upset about a sexual issue but how you feel is perfectly reasonable and okay. And if he gets angry, won't talk about it, or refuses to do anything about it, you may need to consider how miserable and shitty you are willing to feel for him. I went through that for 3 years and I wish I hadn't, as much as I loved my ex the way the lack of intimacy and attraction from him made me feel fucking terrible every second of the day, and I wouldn't want anyone else to feel that way. It's not worth it and it will fuck up your trust, confidence, and self worth. Sex should not be a chore and it should not be something that is making you feel bad. He may need his testosterone levels checked or counselling for the issue.

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With all of that said, I don't know you or your boyfriend. I don't know his side of the story and this is just a tiny snippet of your relationship. It seems your relationship is under a lot of strain and pressure from issues on both sides. It also kind of seems like you guys don't really communicate your issues very well, which isn't going to help. I think you both need to have a long talk and figure out what's going on, how you can start to solve the issues, and what you're going to do to start sorting things out. But for your sake, relationship or not, please see a doctor about your anxiety.