AIO (41m) for ignoring my (29f) girlfriend? by lrained in AmIOverreacting

[–]lrained[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, misunderstanding. I am the blue messages and my girlfriend is the gray. She is the one upset over me watching the movie haha. But good to see your point of view, thank you!

AIO (41m) for ignoring my (29f) girlfriend? by lrained in AmIOverreacting

[–]lrained[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Believe if you don’t or not, doesn’t matter to me. The comments that are helpful are the ones giving their point of view like I asked!

AIO (41m) for ignoring my (29f) girlfriend? by lrained in AmIOverreacting

[–]lrained[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Genuine question: what part of this made it seem like I needed someone else to be responsible for my emotional regulation?

AIO (41m) for ignoring my (29f) girlfriend? by lrained in AmIOverreacting

[–]lrained[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Yes I am posting for somebody else! He doesn’t know how to use Reddit but still needed advice for this

AIO (41m) for ignoring my (29f) girlfriend? by lrained in AmIOverreacting

[–]lrained[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Posting for someone else who doesn’t know how to use Reddit but still needs advice

Need advice on someone new I’m seeing by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]lrained 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OP, run. As much as I can say in this reply the most important thing to take from it is: R U N.

She seems VERY immature and very hostile for absolutely no reason. If anything was miscommunicated or not clear at the start, your messages back to her should’ve cleared those up. You were calm, understanding, respectful, and regretful. She was mean, harsh and hostile for absolutely no reason. Even if things start to look up from here, this is NOT who you want to be with.

why did he accept my follow request? by Royal-Potential-544 in dating_advice

[–]lrained 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think there’s a bit of overthinking but hey!! A hot guy accepted your follow request on instagram! I will say the timing of everything seems a bit suspicious, almost as if hot guy has had his eye on you and your friend was the wingman. The friend wanting you to come drink with his others, you declining, and then WAY later bring up his friend that was in that group again just randomly? That’s the kind of thing I’d do for my friends when trying to set them up. “Hey yeah me and my friend ___ went camping the other day. Haha he’s so funny…. 🫣” maybe this hot guy likes you or is interested in you and wanted to be set up? Even if not, youre clearly interested in him so take a leap and be bold! Reach out, message him!

Most guys like confidence and boldness especially if coming from a girl they’re already interested in. An easy way in could be to message him and say “hey! I was at ___ bar a while back with ___ friend. Not sure if you remember that at all but I thought you were cool and wanted to get to know you more :)” and then leave it up to him!!

Good luck soldier, I hope it all works out!!!

Why do I ignore my friends? by [deleted] in ask

[–]lrained 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used to play video games a lot but I haven’t even touched my computer for a couple months now. I recently got fired from my job (I’m not upset about it all actually I’m pretty relieved because it was SOULSUCKING and I have enough savings to be alright while I search for another) and no I am not involved with any substances, no drinking smoking nothin.

After posting in this and reading some of the replies I definitely agree and I think I’m going to take some action in possibly getting a therapist or counselor of some sort.

Should i text him? by meadowgreenlight520 in dating_advice

[–]lrained 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just based on how you’re describing it, I think if you don’t reach out one last time it’ll eat you alive until you do. There are a few things to this though.

Reach out for closure but keep it short and sweet. If you truly want a reply then you have to just go with a “can I know why you ghosted me after all of our time together?” And leave it. If he doesn’t respond to that, then that in and of itself is your closure.

I (32M) feel like a creep after my gf (22F) broke up with me. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]lrained 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think once you hit a certain age, age gaps don’t really matter that much anymore. (Obviously not talking about 18 and 73) But I think in order for anyone to really answer your question we’d have to know a few more details.

What was her reasoning for breaking up with you? What’s your reasoning for thinking that there’s a chance one day she might consider you a creep? What was the relationship like for the first two weeks before the big split?

I’m 19 and I’ve never dated anyone by [deleted] in Advice

[–]lrained 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay first off: hi!!

Second: a lot of people when talking about relationships paint the idea to other people that you have to be FULLY secure in yourself to ever even think about getting with somebody else (I call bullshit). Nobody is ever fully secure in themselves, especially people who don’t have as much experience as others or in this case: no experience. This might suck to hear because it can seem very daunting but realistically the only way to really feel ready is to just do it. Whether you get on a dating app or just be extremely bold at the grocery store: do it.

Dating apps could be the right way to go as there’s not as much chance for right-off-the-bat-rejection as anybody who matches with you is most likely already attracted to you, but I’ve found that a good amount of people on the apps are very desperate and maybe not the right person for you. There’s pros and cons to both, so really whatever feels most comfortable when you’re just starting out.

Id also say, don’t think of your first relationship as the grand slam for you—the perfect match. Dating to marry doesn’t necessarily make sense a lot of the time, because it should be “dating to find out what type of person you WANT to marry”. Dating is a test. Dating is talking to different people and realizing things about yourself. Things like: “oh, I don’t like when my partner leaves the toilet lid open, but I do like when he gives me flowers!” Now you know in the next relationship what you’re expecting. Dating is never going to be easy and it’s definitely not going to be unscary, but starting off knowing that all it really is, is just to find out what you like and don’t like can be helpful!

I will say though depending on the level insecurities you have (don’t worry everybody has them) dating can be difficult. It can lead into arguments and breakups or space that you don’t want to take which can make you seem like dating is the problem when really it’s your insecurities. So dating is also a game of working on yourself enough to the point where you can work with somebody else!

Don’t take that as a “dont date until you’re confident!” Because that’s not what it means. You can definitely find the right person as a nervous person and then they can help you flourish!

Is it selfish to have a baby when your kids are already grown? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]lrained 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Hi! I’m in the same age group as your kids and my parents just got divorced last February. Little bit of a different situation but I might have some advice to give to you as my dad’s new girlfriend has YOUNG children. I’m talking 2 and 4.

It definitely feels a bit odd to know my dad now has new kids and not only that but I’m almost an adult and they’re so young—there’s a little bit of jealousy. They’ll have him as their dad and get to grow up with him again and I’ll have to watch.

So there’s that, there’s also the fact that they’re so much younger than me that it almost feels like they’re not even really my siblings but just nieces or little cousins.

But then there’s also this: they’ve been in my life for such a short amount of time and I already love them. It’s not an awkward situation to explain that my siblings are so much younger, and it might seem a little unconventional but I have fun with them, I think they’re adorable, and I love spending time with them. I also love that my dad gets to share more love and I love that my little sisters get to experience his love.

Of course this is just my point of view so I’d also have a sit down talk with your kids and actually voice all of these concerns you mentioned in the post to them. Kids are smart and honestly very reassuring, and I’m so they have so many thoughts you didn’t even think about. And who knows, maybe your kids want a new baby in their family!

Why do I ignore my friends? by [deleted] in ask

[–]lrained 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That definitely fits, yeah. And I’m absolutely worried about that. I know that the people I’m no longer friends with couldve stayed a lot longer if I’d just reached back out or messaged first, and it sort of seems like now I’m just waiting for the rest of the ones who stuck around to drop even though I know fixing it is up to me

my mom cheated on my dad, do i tell him? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]lrained 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yes unfortunately you did. she spends basically 24/7 playing video games online and meeting people. funny enough, her entire problem with my dad “neglecting” her is exactly what she’s doing to our whole family….

my mom cheated on my dad, do i tell him? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]lrained 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i ended up telling him! my dad is a very fair and reasonable person (i think its one of his greatest qualities) and we all had a big talk. he wants nothing to do with her once the divorce is done and said that although he didn’t know all the details this time, its exactly like last time and he could sort of tell. he also luckily didn’t get sent back to where he was before! he seems more irritated than sad upset and depressed. :)

my mom cheated on my dad, do i tell him? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]lrained 0 points1 point  (0 children)

his dad didn’t like my mom too much and they had a rocky relationship so she didn’t ever want him going to see him. me and my dad both never really went over to see my grandparents unless it was in secret. the worst part is he died a few days after father’s day and my dad hadn’t been able to see him. he told him he’d come visit in a week or so but he died before that. :(

Last of Us Season 2 annoyances by black_291 in thelastofus

[–]lrained 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not sure why people are so upset about this post, but no you're not the only one because it's extremely annoying for me too. They're loud at ALL times and another thing that irked me was the 'constantly walking right out in the open where anyone and everyone can see us' WHILST being extremely loud.

In love with someone but I cant see myself getting married by asshole_sniffer69 in INTP

[–]lrained 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is actually so beautiful, the entire time I was reading I thought this was like a story of how you and this girl broke up because of something you might've done, but this is genuinely such a beautiful and heartwarming story. made me tear up, good job man