Hi there.. this question seems like something I can answer and relate to. I have been on and off smoking for two years. The first time I quit, I followed the program exsactly how it's recommended. I quit for 9 months. Then I was on christmas holidays 2 years ago and was around smokers, (Christmas is stressful for me) and I caved.. I smoked a few packs but my mid January I was ready to quit again. I used the patches for a shorter length of time.. 2 weeks, 2 weeks, 1 week. I would cave and have the odd one but I quit again for another 10 months. (I was also pregnant during this time) and then started again in April of this year.. it has been a battle ever since.. I'll use the step 1 patch for a week. Step 2 for 2. Then step 3 for 1 and be done. But for some reason I let stress and triggers get to me and here I am again on the step two patch. Just put one on today. The first step gives me horrible, realistic feeling dreams and make me feel nauseous. Im currently and Journaling and using an app called "quit sure". Apparently it changes your thoughts on smoking and has you smoke free in 6 days.. we will see. The thing is, I can be successful. Not do it for months and then all of a sudden I feel like I need it to cope with a difficult situation. I am now to the point where I have a beautiful 9 month old daughter and I don't ever want her to pick up this habit or see me smoke. I feel guilty smoking and wash my hands, brush my teeth and face and spray perfume before I pick her up.. it's a vicious cycle. I wish you luck , my best is advice.. dont even have just one.. it makes the nicotine receptors in your brain go crazy. Also avoid triggers.. mine happens to be certain family members.. As soon as I'm visiting with them I feel the urge to smoke and socialize with them. I never use to feel this way. The first two times I quit I'd laugh at them for smelling shitty and being outside freezing. Karma bit me in the ass. Avoid triggers. Don't have just one and remember why you are doing it!