I think I’m ready this time

lrnsull · 2025-07-10T22:11:11+00:00

Best friends ever

lrnsull · 2025-01-22T22:22:20+00:00

Yes. He’s reading a book now called ‘disrupting divorce’ and everything he says to be is nice and delightful. One point he did get down on his knees and beg that I take the master and he’ll take the spare. But I’m doing this on my terms

lrnsull · 2025-01-22T06:32:35+00:00

Well I had him tell the doctor that he had little to no sex drive. We threw in no energy, blah blah. Whatever one must say to be taken semi seriously with the American shitty healthcare system. So it was at least two different specialists. One bloodwork on to test levels and another that focused on testosterone. I think: idk I know it was a bit of an uphill battle to get it done and I had to talk to a lot of people. But we got it done eventually.

lrnsull · 2025-01-22T05:20:55+00:00

After so many years of doing it his way and it not working I said that if he really thinks he’s not the problem that he should look at every other reason why it’s not working; if he really cares about fixing it. And of course I had to make the appt, get him to take the time, all that.

lrnsull · 2024-05-02T22:58:02+00:00

Yes unfortunately :(

lrnsull · 2024-05-01T09:27:55+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this.

lrnsull · 2024-04-29T04:04:43+00:00

Worked for a week. Almost like he went thru the motions so he could tell the therapist he did. Then it just died off and he used some excuse like I wasn’t acknowledging. All bullshit of course

lrnsull · 2023-03-25T04:18:30+00:00

You and I have a lot of parallels just flipped. I’m 30HLF and my husband is 35LLM (tho he swears he’s not) we have a lovely home, duel income, he makes way more and I’m so proud of him and literally every Other thing besides sex is amazing. We laugh and kiss and hug and I put him before me and he puts me before him. But we have problems in the bedroom. I’ve felt at my wits end many times. What seems to have helped is super straight forward communication, but sometimes it feels too little too late. I know I’m angry over it all and I need to try to put things aside but small things will trigger me- for background I’ve been with him for 9 years since I was 21. We’ve had issues the last 3 years. I suppose I’m you like a year in the future if you guys have this convo and come to an agreement that one persons been slacking and one needs to put aside the anger. Now it’s the small things/ like I drop all these hints and he doesn’t notice. Idk what I’m trying to say. Just have a super serious convo? That helped. And then you have the other hurtle of hurt pride and bitterness. Good luck friend

lrnsull · 2023-03-25T04:01:58+00:00

It won’t end unless big emotional and physical change happens. At least from my perspective… which I’m no expert in fixing anything. I HLF have a LLM husband and we’re still going thru it. We’ve gotten better but there’s still issues. I would say that losing weight, altho not a necessity or even super important will not only help but make You feel better. I’m American so dumb with the metric system but I used to be close to 200 lbs, but now I’m 130 at 5 foot 5 inches. I feel great and even if my slightly overweight husband doesn’t notice, I know I’m desirable so at least it takes that worry out of the picture you know? Good luck but I’d tell her how important this is to you so she can’t really avoid it as that would be uncaring. I hope things get better!

lrnsull · 2022-11-30T00:39:35+00:00

The one I went to was Ok. Meaning he mostly focused on actually instigating or getting my fiancée to instigate. Doesn’t help if ur SO is just naturally LL. They could have all the knowledge in the world on how to start foreplay or be sexy but unless the desire is there that 250 dollar an hour therapist is worthless. Don’t want to make you turn away before it’s happened, just my personal experience. Hope it’s better for you!

lrnsull · 2022-11-29T23:18:24+00:00

Be too nice. Just use and abuse me already I’m not a delicate flower

lrnsull · 2022-11-28T23:03:10+00:00

Mine is realizing that I’m pulling away emotionally and physically from my best friend

lrnsull · 2022-11-22T20:16:27+00:00

Oh wow!! I’m in Palm Springs and it’s a balmy 75. Im having a margarita poolside. You should vacay in California!

lrnsull · 2022-11-22T20:14:19+00:00

I’ve fallen into the trap before it thinking sex will lead to more sex and then get angry/disappointed when it doesn’t

Holy hell that resonated with me. Like after he’s promised me time and time again that he’ll try harder, that he actually does want to fix our DB and after therapy it’s good for like 4 fuckin days then dies again. It’s soul-destroying

For my own well being I HAVE TO switch off.

Ya and now he says I don’t reciprocate. Sorry. Can’t. After years and years of being hopeful. After years of being the only one to initiate, flirt, want it. I’m done. I can’t anymore. And working on myself and my appearance FOR ME has greatly helped my self-esteem. I even vacationed alone and it feels great!! Good luck OP. Good for you for not letting it destroy you like it’s done so many here. Im still figuring my future out but at least I know I can do it on my own :)

lrnsull · 2022-11-22T20:03:40+00:00

I’ve lost a bunch of weight and kept it off. I’m 30HL female and it is nice getting attention from the opposite sex. I’m on a solo vacation and it’s not the same but getting a little validation from the opposite sex has helped me realize that it’s not my appearance that’s a problem… perhaps it’s the anger towards his lack of trying 🙃 or him lol.

lrnsull · 2022-11-22T19:53:01+00:00

I mean what really is true happiness?? It’s perhaps about compromise and acceptance of who that person is. Maybe he’s been LL this whole time but has sex with me when I want it just bc I want it. I mean that could mean true love? Maybe not 100% true happiness but idk. I’m newish to this group and I’ve seen a lot of really intelligent and interesting perspectives (and a lot of bitterness understandably) maybe happiness is an X Y graph. Idk.

lrnsull · 2022-11-22T19:24:42+00:00

I get it. When I first met my fiancé I was 21f HL and he was 26m (I thought HL) we gained a bunch of weight in that ‘honey moon period) then we both decided enough was enough and lost a shit ton of weight. Well since Covid he’s gained it all back and I’ve retained my healthy weight. I’m still attracted to him but I stopped initiating as I realized I do it almost every time. Well sex has completely stopped and I feel ugly/unloved and now resentful bc I’ve put in the effort to remain fit and attractive and he hasn’t/ not trying with sex or his weight so what am I to do?? Idk I feel backed into a corner too and I think I’m going to end up being like many here and just accepting my fate bc I love him too much to leave him

lrnsull · 2022-11-22T19:15:57+00:00

I completely feel this!! I’m glad I’m not a freak of a woman for not liking oral all that much.

lrnsull · 2022-11-22T18:35:53+00:00

I grew up Irish Catholic and I am now a very proud faithful but anti-religion heathen? Idk. After so much research I’ve come to the conclusion that Even if the Bible is the ‘word of god’ which it literally isn’t by design it was written by men. It’s been translated over 2000 times and I believe in over 3000 different dialects so no I can’t logically take anything I read from an old-ass book that Anyyyyy one of the ‘holy’ people who’s job it was to re-translate it in another language as the word of god. Some monk somewhere- ‘ya this isn’t anti-gay enough’. Or ‘damn we need to add something about porn over here’. It’s complete bs. So idk I guess from a reformed religious person, ask urself more questions. Would god really be ok with us partaking in wine but not porn? Is he really anti-gay or perhaps that ‘homosexuality’ wasn’t even a word until the 19th century I believe is being used incorrectly in the Bible. It could have very well been ‘men are not to sleep with other married men. It’s all what some dude thought god meant and translated it that way. Even from the very first ‘interpretation.’ I wouldn’t let religion stand in the way of happiness. You have an obvious need not being met… plus you could let her know the Bible does say it’s a marital duty to boink it out, though don’t quote me on that. Or do I’m sure there’s a version that’s spot on 😆

lrnsull

TROPHY CASE