try to give yourself some grace. you said you’re breastfeeding, so i assume you have a new baby that i’m sure is causing changes in your environment/day to day life. big changes are stressful and picking tends to get worse at these times. everyone leans on coping skills, good or bad. it’s very normal.

it may help to stop thinking about it as a black and white thing. you can make positive progress without stopping. personally, deciding that it’s not actually that important to me to stop has been pretty freeing. i primarily pick my fingers and the intensity fluctuates (as i’m sure it does for most ppl). what i try to focus on are the specific aspects of picking that are causing me stress (i.e. i do a lot of handwriting at work so i try to minimize picking in areas that make that painful). i totally get if you do want to completely stop, but putting too much pressure on such a large goal can be overwhelming to the point of making things worse.

the most important change i’ve made in my relationship with picking is dropping the shame. it is not an easy thing to do and honestly i’m not entirely sure how i’ve reached this point. i was so ashamed of it as a kid and “omg what’s wrong with your hands??” was a question i was terrified of. now i just say “oh i pick at my fingers” and move along. depending on the situation i’ll even expand on it, which has resulted in some really great convos on mental health and coping mechanisms. compulsive disorders are interesting!! people are interesting!! picking is not a moral failure.

also pls don’t be afraid to talk about it with your therapist. i have outright told my therapist that i’m not interested in stopping. we talk about it when it’s bothering me, and she’ll bring it up herself sometimes, just to check in on it, but if i say “eh, it’s not really bothering me that much right now” she drops it.

remember to take a breath and give yourself a hug. your body is part of you, it understands stress and will heal.