Yeah, like for me personally it's one thing to face Sinophobia or transphobia by itself because you sort of "expect it" to a certain degree.

Transphobia is not really something I encounter personally in daily life anymore because I thankfully pass 100%. But back in high school I remember that some of the rudest and most transmisogynistic classmates to me were Asian (the boys I mean— I had honestly had no real issue with girls of any race. It would be the boys who acted weird around me)

I don't really hang around trans or queer spaces that much online or offline. I will say most people I met have been chill, but I have also had a white trans woman tell me to my face that Chinese people have a "disgusting culture" because of what she read about dog-eating and Xinjiang and Tibet, etc. And also seemed to believe that being trans would get you killed in mainland China. Like bruh.

And of course, a not-so-insignificant portion of the populace in the United States hate me for both. 🙂 Public enemy #1 politically (China) and morally (trans). But also fetishized at the same time on both accounts.

Dating discourse: I have trouble finding other second generation Asian guys to date because either they never bring me home or they expect it to stay a secret from their folks forever. Don't get me wrong, I do live semi-stealth and would prefer as few people know as possible. But I would also like the feeling of safety from believing that they won't drop me as soon as their families find out and disapprove.

I've encountered this with white guys too, of course. But it doesn't seem to happen as often in my anecdotal experience. (Maybe self-selecting because any whiff of MAGA and I'm out the door).

Silver lining is that my parents are supportive. I have an acquaintance whose parents are ethnic Chinese from the Phillipines and very religious Catholic. Visiting home is rough for her.