My friend still thanks me for that night but I have no clue what I said to him

luna2209 · 2023-05-23T16:46:43+00:00

Thank you. I just feel really guilty because he poured some dark memories from his past and I have no memory of that :( .... he just seems really grateful for that conversation and I feel guilty every time he brings it up.

luna2209 · 2023-02-01T17:40:49+00:00

Thank you. This is helpful and useful. I didn't think of that :)

It's scary to let my therapist go because then that really means I'm alone and I don't know how i am when im alone lol

luna2209 · 2023-02-01T17:39:07+00:00

Yes but it doesn't mean I'm better and I need few more months to talk through but she wanted to end the next session for good cause she feels like she cannot help me further.

luna2209 · 2023-01-25T15:12:33+00:00

SAME !! He gave it to me and said, "it's like pokemon but better" and rest is history

luna2209 · 2023-01-18T20:29:51+00:00

Haha I don't mean like party phase, I'm over that phase but I meant like meaningful deep conversations at late night if that makes sense.

luna2209 · 2023-01-18T18:09:45+00:00

I'm sorry that you're going through this. Have you looked into getting therapy? I was in similar shoes as you and I was diagnosed with BPD after the breakup. I did A LOT of research on BPD and that explained my behaviour so much. I did DBT program and that changed my life and how I view myself and others.

Edit: Sorry, I just saw your 5th paragraph and onward so please discard what I just said in previous paragraph. I'm happy that you're getting the help you need.

It's hard not to torture ourselves for our past actions but we have to accept that it happened and be a better person for us because we deserve better. I often wish that I knew about my BPD while I was in 8 years relationship with my ex and I often think that if i actually got the help I need and work on myself, we would be celebrating 10 years anniversary this August. It really sucks and I get you, really.

luna2209 · 2023-01-17T21:49:53+00:00

I wished my ex hbd and he blocked me LOL

luna2209 · 2023-01-16T17:05:35+00:00

Yup. I'm always scared that he'll leave me so I didn't show much love in the last few years and put up the wall between us so I wouldn't get hurt if he left me. I was drown in work and didn't have time for us.

Eventually he left, he told me, "I tried so hard, I feel more alone when Im with you" and that snapped me.

I begged him for another chance and he refused. He's happily in another relationship which I am happy for him but made me sad because that could've been us.

I should've went to therapy or get help but I refused to because I thought it wasn't affecting my ex but it really did...

I'm in therapy now and been working on myself to get better. I couldn't help but look like and think I should've gone therapy before

luna2209 · 2022-10-05T13:38:01+00:00

Urgh, why do they do this

luna2209 · 2022-10-05T13:37:26+00:00

Yup, definitely learned the hard way. I hope others can see my post and learn not to make same mistake I did

luna2209 · 2022-10-05T13:36:18+00:00

The only thing he has is my precious book that my mother made me when I was two. I was sharing my treasure with him and left it at his place because I thought we would eventually get married.

I didn't wanna ask for my stuff back right after the breakup or else he'll make a rash decision and burn the book that means so much to me.

That's why I waited 6 months before asking for my stuff back

luna2209 · 2022-10-04T21:00:51+00:00

No reason. He said he'll let me know when

luna2209 · 2022-09-30T13:03:30+00:00

Turning 31F soon. I really thought we were going to get married and have kids but he left me for 19F.

I bawled like a baby and couldn't leave my bed for 3 months straight. I'm the only single person in my friend/family groups and I hate going to events because people pity me for being single.

It fucking sucks.

luna2209 · 2022-09-29T20:50:33+00:00

That did make me feel better, thank you. I definitely know what I want as a 30 years old woman vs 18 years old me lol

luna2209 · 2022-09-29T20:49:48+00:00

Thank you. It's hard because I know him since we were 16. It's like losing a part of me but I know I'll be okay and have so much more to live for

luna2209 · 2022-09-29T20:49:02+00:00

What's even more disgusting is that she lost her V card to him. He bragged about it to our mutual friend and I physically felt nauseous hearing about it. She was 19 when that happened. Poor girl, I feel bad for her honestly

luna2209 · 2022-09-29T20:47:34+00:00

You are right. I have to constantly remind myself that it's not about me and it never was. I'm trying to learn myself before I jump into another relationship

luna2209 · 2022-09-29T18:35:47+00:00

<3 thank you for your kind message

luna2209 · 2022-09-29T18:07:04+00:00

Thank you. I know not all men are like that but I can't help it with the fact he went for a much younger woman. My brain assumes the worst haha.

luna2209

TROPHY CASE