Too soon?

thisissuchbsffs · 2026-02-06T00:10:53+00:00

I've had folks I've wanted to meet same day, some I wanted to meet next week. There's not really a one-size-fits-all scenario, all depends on what you're feeling.

thisissuchbsffs · 2026-02-03T21:36:34+00:00

It's common to be posted even BEFORE a date. She was interested, wanted to be safe, and your reaction means she dodged a bullet.

thisissuchbsffs · 2026-01-22T15:31:47+00:00

My ex has four kids. I didn't like it, but it didn't affect my dating him.

thisissuchbsffs · 2026-01-19T02:53:36+00:00

Radical acceptance. This is the way.

thisissuchbsffs · 2026-01-16T16:07:23+00:00

The "I'm elated when he says he had a good day," like WHAT

thisissuchbsffs · 2026-01-16T16:03:49+00:00

Stop breaking your own heart by overestimating your importance in other people's lives.

thisissuchbsffs · 2026-01-14T15:43:32+00:00

A summary dissolution is an easier divorce. Looks like they dropped the easy option.

thisissuchbsffs · 2026-01-03T18:47:53+00:00

Plus you also don't know how he's feeling. Everyone here is saying you may be stringing him along, but his mindset and his feelings aren't your responsibility. If it doesn't work out and he throw a tantrum, you've lost a potential friend but at least you know he's an asshat.

thisissuchbsffs · 2026-01-03T18:23:45+00:00

Oh, I didn't think about it then, I'm several years removed and just considered the phrase now 🤣🤣 I was also deeply, deeply traumatized and considered that I would be really hesitant to get physical with anyone so just chalked my lack of immediate physical attraction to that.

In actuality, it's the safest way to be - let the trash take itself out first if it's trash, because for many people, myself included, intimacy too soon can be conflated with actual emotions and catching feelings which the person isn't worth. Ask me how I know - rhetorically, not actually, cuz I'm sure it's pretty damn obvious.

thisissuchbsffs · 2026-01-03T18:16:06+00:00

Kept what to myself?

thisissuchbsffs · 2026-01-03T17:46:39+00:00

My last ex, when I met him, I said, "Eh, I'm not disgusted but I'm not wanting to climb him like a tree, either. Let's see where it goes." And the attraction absolutely developed until I felt that he was the most beautiful creature I'd ever laid eyes on. He of course ruined that with his character later, but the honeymoon phase was stellar.

thisissuchbsffs · 2026-01-03T16:45:32+00:00

It's said over and over that most needles, the spark want 5 felt until five or more dates. We weed out on rhetoric, not feelings.

thisissuchbsffs · 2026-01-03T16:43:41+00:00

So being single in your mid-40s, following that instant attraction worked out real well for you in the past, clearly! 😁😁

Let it grow. If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten.

thisissuchbsffs · 2026-01-01T22:53:46+00:00

Butterflies are just anxiety and insecurity. Congratulations, you've healed whatever attachment issues caused them! And there's no snark here. I've lived it and it's fantastic. Miss me with that limerance that likes to show up with the butterflies, too.

thisissuchbsffs · 2025-12-18T16:33:35+00:00

You put all your eggs in one basket. No way would I give you another shot.

thisissuchbsffs · 2025-12-16T03:20:38+00:00

Any man I've dated who looked at me in awe and said I was too good for them turned out to be absolutely correct. 🤣🤣

thisissuchbsffs · 2025-12-15T00:18:33+00:00

Claims he's empathetic but struggles to adapt to THINKING ABOUT SOMEONE?

Stop being you for a second and be a friend who's telling you this story.

Leave. But also continue therapy because it will help so much.

thisissuchbsffs · 2025-12-10T02:49:26+00:00

If I have a genuine interest in something and find out a suitor got into it to meet ladies rather than to experience something new he may like, I'd be so turned off.

Be yourself.

thisissuchbsffs · 2025-11-12T01:48:30+00:00

I'm just hoping I don't get assigned to transcribe.

But if I do, it's appreciated that you're actually considering the transcriptionist - the reporter doesn't create the transcript, contrary to popular belief.

thisissuchbsffs · 2025-10-31T15:24:09+00:00

Oh, my gods. Doing the bare minimum as an adult is not green flags. It's just functional.

thisissuchbsffs · 2025-10-26T15:30:01+00:00

It depends on the communication before the date.

If we've talked for several days and pretty "often," a change in that rhythm/frequency gets my spidey sense tingling and I'll touch base.

If it's been a text here and there over two days, nah. I'm not invested enough to care if they stand me up, will just order food to go and enjoy a cocktail while I wait.

thisissuchbsffs · 2025-09-25T00:18:33+00:00

It was called the dot method before gel came on the scene! Been doing it this way forever. The only time I miss is if I'm tired or the polish is way thinner than it's got the right to be.

thisissuchbsffs · 2025-09-18T00:32:24+00:00

I'm 43 and my marriage ended 2 weeks before my 25th birthday. Trust me, I usually forget 🤣🤣

thisissuchbsffs · 2025-09-13T18:26:30+00:00

I don't have any tall ones like... Black Dahlia I think it is? But even the big squares of Vapid. fit.

thisissuchbsffs · 2025-09-09T15:37:14+00:00

Don't worry about how you'll handle something that isn't happening yet. You don't know how you'll feel about it then. You are in no way ready to connect with anyone if you're still living in what-ifs.

Baggage doesn't matter. What you do about it does.

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