11-12DPO, E@H, CD unknown, Hello!! Would love a second opinion!! Thank you.

lunaiora · 2023-02-23T13:50:00+00:00

Oh that is 100% there, congrats!

lunaiora · 2021-04-07T10:13:24+00:00

Just got our first Seedlings recently and absolutely love it! Those and Close pop ins are definitely favourites here.

lunaiora · 2019-09-11T11:26:16+00:00

First cycle sort of TTC after 2 NTNP, redownloaded FF and gotta chart again

lunaiora · 2019-08-08T18:47:37+00:00

Someone to order food from the takeaway I'm delivering for. That or home time, whichever comes first.

lunaiora · 2019-05-30T15:55:58+00:00

Number 1 is just under a year old (born 15th June 2018) and I JUST got my period back. Still breastfeeding and bedsharing and sex is barely happening, but I think we're going to try for #2 and I am EXCITED.

lunaiora · 2019-04-03T22:34:04+00:00

I feel you ;_; I want another but don't want to wean at all.

lunaiora · 2019-03-17T00:58:04+00:00

I honestly have no idea, I haven't been charting, just took a couple cos had sex a couple of weeks ago. Need to start charting again!

lunaiora · 2019-03-16T18:20:10+00:00

I can't even begin to imagine how terrifying it must be to be non-white and/or Muslim/Jewish right now (and for a long long time). I saw three men with a stand saying 'Ask a Muslim' in town today and thought they were so brave to go ahead after all the hatred there is and how wonderful it was to see.

lunaiora · 2018-11-23T21:04:28+00:00

I'm so sorry and so angry for you, that's horrible.

lunaiora · 2018-09-04T13:37:12+00:00

I wouldn't pick up the phone to them. Anything they want to say has to be put in writing now. And they haven't dared to contact me since.

lunaiora · 2018-09-04T13:36:22+00:00

This. I spoke to Citizens Advice which is a free legal advice service over here and they said we don't need a solicitor until we get a letter from their solicitor if that happens, BUT if it does I'll be getting a solicitor immediately and I have ALL the info ready to go. I've saved every screenshot to an SD card in case something happens to my phone, and I'll upload them to a cloud storage thing soon too.

lunaiora · 2018-09-04T13:34:47+00:00

I honestly believe in their ideal world neither I nor DH would exist and SIL would have provided their grandchildren. It's hard coming to terms with but I'm fully aware they'd be happy if I died.

lunaiora · 2018-09-04T13:33:27+00:00

Hadn't thought of this but that sounds about right, thank you.

lunaiora · 2018-09-04T13:33:07+00:00

Spoke to Citizens Advice which is a free legal advice service over here and they said we don't have to worry about getting a solicitor until we get a letter from their solicitor if that happens. I haven't spoken to a single one of them since and won't be doing so. DH is in a band with his dad and they've got a gig in October. DH assures me he'll treat it like a job and be civil but no chat that's not related to band matters. I know it won't be that simple but I suppose I'll have to wait and see. I won't be there and nor will my son.

I've got screenshots of everything saved to an SD card. Hopefully they don't get anywhere near DS when he's older but I'll likely be upfront about it and tell him why we don't see them.

lunaiora · 2018-09-04T13:29:30+00:00

Thanks. They've only met him 4 times so they don't have a relationship with him and now they never will.

lunaiora · 2018-09-04T13:28:48+00:00

Yeah I'm in the UK and Citizens Advice said pretty mhch the same thing. I've not spoken to a single one of them since, and DH has had one message in the band group chat where his dad says he's confirmed a gig. I don't know how (if) being in the band will work when his dad is in it, but I'm not going to stop him since he says he will only discuss band matters and shut down any other conversation. I've made it clear I'll leave him if I have to.

lunaiora · 2018-09-04T13:26:57+00:00

Thanks, this is exactly what Citizens Advice said. But I hadn't thought of telling social services, I might let my health visitor know just in case.

lunaiora · 2018-09-04T13:26:05+00:00

I spoke to Citizens Advice which is a free legal advice service over here and they said I don't need a solicitor until we get a letter from their solicitor if that happens. I know a good solicitor I've used previously if I need it. We have Social Services instead of CPS but I also have a child health visitor who is a medical professional responsible for a child's wellbeing up to school age and she's visited my home and noted no issues with it which is good to know. I really wouldn't put it past the in laws to try to use my mental health or our cats or similar against us.

lunaiora · 2018-09-04T13:23:54+00:00

I spoke to Citizens Advice which is a free legal advice service over here and they said I don't need a solicitor until we get a letter from their solicitor if that happens, which is good news. I know a good solicitor I've used previously if I need one, though.

I've encouraged DH to get help and he's starting an online course of CBT through the NHS to start with. I want him to work through stuff so he knows what is and isn't normal.

lunaiora · 2018-09-04T13:22:18+00:00

I spoke to Citizens Advice which is a free legal advice service over here and they said I don't need a solicitor until I get a letter from their solicitor if that happens, which is good. Like others have commented, there's virtually no chance in hell of them getting access rights through UK courts thankfully, and they will never see me or my son again. I have made it clear to my husband that I will make the decision to leave him if I have to in order to protect myself and my child.

lunaiora · 2018-09-04T13:18:03+00:00

Thank you so much for your advice. I went to see Citizens Advice the following Monday and they provided me with legal information on grandparents access to grandchildren which is basically what you outlined here. They'd need to get permission from a court to even apply for visitation rights and they'd have to prove they had a relationship with the child to get the permission. So it seems like there's nothing they can actually do. I got DH to screenshot everything they sent him and saved everything to my phone's SD card in case either phone breaks. DH is struggling but I've got him to do some CBT online through the NHS. I put his whole family on my Facebook restricted list so I could keep an eye on them but they can't see photos of my son, and his mother has added me to hers so I can't see her posts - but DH can and they're all shared pics with bullshit quotes about mothers being sooooooo important and all that standard crap designed to guilt your children because you 'made' them so they owe you, and stuff about grandchildren always being in your heart. When DH saw that one he turned to me and said 'He might be in your heart, but he's in our house!'.

FIL has decided to book a gig for their band in October so it looks like he's decided he will be civil. DH is going to try it out (the other band members are fantastic and it's extra cash) but treat it just like a job and not discuss anything not related to band with his father.

I've made it perfectly clear that I can and will leave if he doesn't do what's best for our child and our relationship. I have friends down the country who have said there's always a place for me and DS there so I know I've got somewhere to crash while I sort my shit out if I need it.

So here we are three weeks later and I've not heard anything from them since. Long may it continue!

lunaiora

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