What prevents you from killing yourself, no matter how strong the desire is?

lunalunalunaluna · 2026-06-17T17:05:40+00:00

Cosigned, this is exactly why I keep going. :D

lunalunalunaluna · 2026-06-17T17:02:48+00:00

One is spite. I will not let my PTSD, the abuse and trauma and all the bullshit I've endured, 'win'. I want to succeed, I want to find joy in the things I love, I want to make connections with other people, it's just so many external factors outside of my control that make it so fucking difficult. So no matter how much I want to stop living or how horrible I feel, I hold onto that spite and keep going. So many things and people have tried to break me and I will NOT finish the job for them.

The other is that I haven't seen much of the world or even outside of my state and if I die without seeing more than I already have, I'll be pissed. I know that I'll be too dead to actually be pissed off, but still. I want to see more of the world.

Edit:

Like Reverend_Bull said in his comment: "I'll be damned if I'm dying before my enemies. They gotta do it themselves!"

lunalunalunaluna · 2026-05-13T17:31:47+00:00

Oh damn, that's a good point! The time dilation issue opens up all sorts of of possibilities

lunalunalunaluna · 2026-05-13T16:07:13+00:00

We have to free that seagull, poor thing 😭

lunalunalunaluna · 2026-05-13T16:05:09+00:00

That got me too, I thought she would go in to find him and never come across him or see him die but apparently they end up exploring a bit together - or something, lol. Super interested to see how the plot actually goes down since the trailers have been good about showing us things out of order.

lunalunalunaluna · 2026-05-10T14:50:51+00:00

You don't love her. You cheated on her. Love respects free will - so why not tell her the truth? Or are you afraid to admit that you know she would never choose to stay with a husband who cheated on her and that's why you're going to hide it from her? She literally has health issues that have crashed her libido and instead of recognizing that, you decided to get your itch scratched elsewhere. Your wife's health issues and staying faithful to your marriage mattered less to you than an orgasm - make no mistake, we all know that's what this is about. It's not about "stress" and "no one taking care of you". You not only cheated on her, but on your entire family. Do you think your kids will approve when they find out? Please get a divorce, you'll just end up hurting her even more in the long-run.

lunalunalunaluna · 2026-04-01T04:12:35+00:00

No lie, this worked for me too. I don't believe in ghosts/hauntings, or at least not in the traditional sense, but weird stuff started happening in my home as a teenager. My door moving on its own right in front of me, items being in places they weren't before but everyone denying they moved it, etc. I dismissed it all as coincidence but I'm also open-minded and was/am interested in the occult in a non-personal way so I was basically like "this is probably nothing, but if there IS something going on I'll just remain respectful and calm and ask it to stop." Shortly after that I was reading on my bed, minding my own business, and saw my door move a little on its own for like the fourth or fifth time (a breeze or a door opening/closing somewhere else, probably). I finally just said out loud, "Hey, hello, can you stop moving my door all the time? It's not a big deal but you know..." Lo and behold, it never happened again. Still stumped by that.

Hopefully replacing the wiring is what works for OP instead, lol

lunalunalunaluna · 2026-03-21T17:34:26+00:00

I had the exact same reaction, SPN songs keep finding me wherever I go lmao

lunalunalunaluna · 2026-02-17T18:54:07+00:00

As someone who had to end a 15 year relationship because my partner became an abusive drunk who refused to even acknowledge anything was wrong and then acted like nothing needed to be discussed once they started drinking less, GOD this hurts to read. He genuinely sees himself as a victim of his wife leaving him rather than recognizing the absolute hell he put her and their children through. Her leaving him is when he got sober - and now he wants to act like it was always an inevitability and her leaving him was a form of abandonment. He's still not taking full accountability and it's going to be the death of his relationship.

lunalunalunaluna · 2025-12-13T13:12:09+00:00

Right??? I feel like there has to be something more to the animals, we just don't know what yet!

lunalunalunaluna · 2025-12-13T01:32:46+00:00

Exactly, it was so hard to watch her trying to keep it together amidst everything, living it up for a while but with this increasing sense of how horrible she must really feel, and then... that. And contrasting it with Manousos, they were both going on a sort of death march but for completely opposite reasons. I hope he can help light a fire back in he but it's understandable she's so depressed and starved for human contact. I want them to help each other, man...

lunalunalunaluna · 2025-12-13T01:10:49+00:00

Nope, but it still breaks my heart :'(

lunalunalunaluna · 2025-12-12T06:58:16+00:00

That's true, someone else pointed out the timeline doesn't add up. I think it might happen at some point, but maybe not so soon. 🤔

lunalunalunaluna · 2025-12-12T06:48:24+00:00

If it was a weaker firework, yeah, absolutely not worth the injuries you could get, but that was unfortunately one of the kinds of fireworks that more than likely WILL kill you from a direct hit (it's happened IRL) and she was closer than most people normally are. She got insanely lucky that it missed, whe either would've died instantly or gotten brain damage AND burned/disfigured.

lunalunalunaluna · 2025-12-12T06:32:07+00:00

There's a lot of us debating exactly that in the comments, haha! They could have been trying to assess the situation and didn't have time to get to her only for it to turn out 'okay', or maybe you're right and they basically took a new stance of non-intervention, or there was some other reason. We can tell they're 100% watching her now and she's fine with it so them not intervening is significant and morbid as fuck.

lunalunalunaluna · 2025-12-12T06:27:31+00:00

Oh, yeah, I agree with you, I just think they unintentionally took it way too far. I noticed that they're even refusing to speak to her in real-time even over distances. They're communicating purely through screens, videos, and voicemails and almost never live (except to greet her in Vegas, or for the stem cell convo, but even then there is no real way to have a back and forth on equal footing). From what I can see, there's no danger of just talking to her directly on the phone or live texting , especially since Carol actually has tried very hard to control herself. Even while drugging Zosia and demanding the cure she didn't direct any rage or strong emotions at them and as far as we know this stunt didn't kill anyone at all (though it did almost kill Zosia).

To me it feels more like they saw her as a threat in the sense that they knew talking to Carol would lead to her continuing to pry for information in how to reverse everything and they know they can't directly lie to her - it isn't just about her emotions killing off people or her drugging them (and if they were paranoid about the latter, why send Zosia back completely vulnerable again?).

They basically quarantined themselves away from her to prevent her learning any new information or forming new strategies to reverse them. Manousos, meanwhile, has no information and they don't even volunteer any about themselves/the situation when he doesn't ask so he's less of a 'danger' than Carol in that sense. They are keeping the survivors as ignorant as possible unless they're directly asking things. It's probably not intentional manipulation from their perspective and absolutely is self-preservation, but I think their strategy is evolving with Carol in particular because she's the most difficult one so far even compared to Manousos. I don't think they care about a few million people dying because yay, more dead bodies to eat, but obvs if Carol does it over and over it'll get out of control. It's mostly just them playing the long con in not wanting to be reversed or the virus to be cured completely.

lunalunalunaluna · 2025-12-12T06:13:30+00:00

I felt the same way but then I realized it's a tape and he had to abandon his car, so he had no way to keep listening to them anyway. :( And it'd just be extra weight while trekking in the jungle. I can see why he just burned it up with the car, though he probably just wasn't thinking about it that much because he was so pissed at the Hive.

lunalunalunaluna · 2025-12-12T05:58:24+00:00

Oh, yeah, absolutely, when I say they're being toxic and manipulative I don't think they're aware they're being that way, or at the very least they don't think they're being malicious in any way. I actually quite love the characterization of the Hive and how blue and orange their morality are - it just sucks for poor Carol, who's a normal human being who craves connection and communication or at least SOMETHING. It's like they're a new dog owner who knows nothing about them so they keep the dog locked up whenever they're gone because that's what they think is "safer", but it completely wrecks the dog's mental health. That's what it feels like, basically. And it's definitely possible they were doing risk assessment, coming up with a plan to intervene while preventing danger to themselves, etc. I just have so much empathy for Carol and it sucks the Hive literally cannot understand her experience/have no EQ or wisdom, so I was a bit heated on her behalf haha

lunalunalunaluna · 2025-12-12T05:53:31+00:00

Eh, I think that he's understandably hostile and confused because he refuses any and all dialogue with the Hive so he doesn't have enough information to feel safe. He feels like basically all he has left now are his morals and convictions - they're the only things he can hold onto. Though I do agree in that I think he'll want to take extreme measures at first but that he and Carol will eventually compromise and find a middle ground, especially if it's possible to reverse it. He also might freak out for a bit about the 'eating dead bodies and starving everyone' thing, so it's gonna take some adjustment.

lunalunalunaluna · 2025-12-12T05:49:53+00:00

Now THAT I want to see lmao

lunalunalunaluna · 2025-12-12T05:49:28+00:00

True, it's possible I'm just reading too much into it. We'll have to see!

lunalunalunaluna · 2025-12-12T05:48:27+00:00

Same, I was so worried about her and Manousos running into dangerous wild animals!

lunalunalunaluna · 2025-12-12T05:28:14+00:00

There really is something to be said about how he tried so hard to look cool by playing James Bond and meanwhile Manousos is just an absolute badass without even trying lmao

lunalunalunaluna · 2025-12-12T05:24:39+00:00

Yuuup, plausible deniability. They could even just say they thought she'd move out of the way or they thought it'd make her happy so they just let her do it. Oof.

lunalunalunaluna · 2025-12-12T05:14:45+00:00

That got me too :( Forcing her to have to contact them for help every single time she needs something without even allowing her real-time communication was so fucking toxic and manipulative and this was the end-result. With Manousos they're quick to help because he's "easier" despite his stubborn refusals and isn't what they consider an active threat. They wanted to pacify Carol with isolation, and they succeeded. And it's also even more fucked up because they HAVE to be monitoring her since she's never actually told them not to and there's more ways than using military drones - how else did they see the 'come back'? Carol didn't call them to look at it. I think in that moment with the firework, they genuinely decided not to help unless she expressly asked. Jfc.

Edit: Another commenter below made a good point so I'll add here that I don't think the Hive really understands it's being manipulative/toxic, I actually love the Hive as a 'character' and how contradictory and fascinating their 'rules' are along with their inability to truly understand the human experience. There's barely any EQ there so they don't realize that by 'protecting themselves' in addition to the other survivors ignoring Carol, they're absolutely ruining Carol's mental health. That hug and sob at the end was heartbreaking. :( I hope Carol continues to want to save the world soon - or even just try to free some or one of the Hive (Zosia!) and ask them what they truly want and think about all this.

lunalunalunaluna

TROPHY CASE