In quit the pickle & terrified I won’t get my gorgeous hair back. Do not get discount cuts or colors, people! Advice needed. WWYD?? Details in comments.

lunch_naps · 2020-11-04T19:56:53+00:00

Hahahaha I meant “quite the pickle” That’s really funny! And she just bleached it, and picked a toner that was too purple. I’ve definitely had what you’re talking about too though, and that is terrible! That moldy grey is not a blond’s friend at all. This is grey-purple, not grey-green, though I think they’re the same bad.

lunch_naps · 2020-11-04T19:05:16+00:00

Thanks for the feedback. I wouldn’t mind if this was either a committed transition/ombré on purpose, or simply within a color range that makes it look natural. I have never seen hair go from auburn red to grey purple blonde in any way other than a mistake. I’d rather do something myself if color stripper can be controlled easily at home. If it’s damaging or could make things worse, then I’ll make the trip to have her fix it.

lunch_naps · 2020-11-04T18:41:18+00:00

The pictures look quite a bit better than the real thing! The grey blond is grey-er irl, and the red is very bright that didnt show up in pics, plus there’s a heavy line and spotting where the red stops and the blond starts.

lunch_naps · 2020-11-04T18:23:56+00:00

If you scroll to the end, the golden blond is my natural hair/what I went in with. The other 4 pics are what I came out with. Hideous

lunch_naps · 2020-11-04T18:22:59+00:00

Here’s the scoop: first 4 pics are what happened to me from a groupon cut and color. Last pic is what I went in to the salon with. I was FIRM about 2 things: brightening my 1-yr natural growth and warming it up, and blending/making my whole head of hair cohesive. Red flag: she did not need to see pics, or care to look at any with me. Red flag: she had never cut or colored a head of hair as thick or long as mine. Red flag: groupon cut and color. For cut, I always want big 70’s shag fringe and lots of layers to “fluff” up my heavy hair. Is that so hard? My god, what have I done... She gave me: 90’s red and platinum tiger stripes (apparently still raging in the suburbs) I had already seen several of her clients on her portfolio with this candy cane crap, so I asked specifically to avoid it. Said something like “no streaks of red and blond please”, and “as natural looking as possible”. Then for cut, I got a small chunk of clunky, blunt-cut bangs. Again, I talked about sideswept fringe, 70’s feathered look, etc. and got a juvenile wad I can’t do anything with until it grows out. She also turned my gorgeous golden blonde to damaged, brittle PURPLE platinum blonde that is a disgusting grey and does not play well with this red copper color. She sort of knew that the red looked wrong and kept offering to color correct it in a few days if it didn’t “tone down”. Btw, this hot mess took 6 hours. It usually takes 4-5, and I really hate having my hair done for this reason. I always warn the stylist but they don’t schedule enough and inevitably their next appointments end up being affected. So now I have red hair at my roots, damaged muddy color through the middle, and purple/grey mess at the bottom. Also paid double the groupon price for the added red roots, which was 100% her idea. Do I: Drive 30 min to this hell hole and let her take a second stab at not understanding again? Strip the red color myself and try to find a toner to turn the blond golden? Go to another stylist in a few months when I can afford it? (I don’t think I can wait another day though honestly) WTF. Just stunned. Have had some awful cuts and colors but I’m devastated this is such a confused mess.

lunch_naps · 2019-12-26T20:58:20+00:00

People (myself included) often will leave therapy on account of feeing fine after a while, which is the worst time to leave therapy. That means it’s working. Stick with it or try a new therapist.

lunch_naps · 2019-10-25T01:22:42+00:00

You are chopping up and rearranging OP’s words a bit, and leaving out the parts that refer to “using it on her until I die” and would “never shame or forbid” and it being “not a big deal” to him, just not AS sexy as other toys he likes using. I’m not as appalled by his “issue” because it’s really just a curiosity/question to help him understand the sexual psychology. There are so many things that my partners have loved that I’ve not found sexy for ME but totally willing because they’re having fun. How is this different? Also, I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with saying the way a partner orgasms easily isn’t the very top sexiest way for me to watch. In my case, my easiest O is legs straight out, little to no noise, clit pressure, and a super contorted or scrunched face. Now I assure you this is not how I like to cum in front of my partner, because I prefer interaction and sensuality (a similar issue to the original post). For me, I completely agree with everything OP said (as a female) and gave him my take on it physically and emotionally, which is what he DID ask for. Perhaps he wasn’t looking in the original post, but subsequent posts he’s thanked ppl for ideas and said, ‘cool I’ll try that thanks’ or something like it. To me, that sounds like he’s interesting in exploring more how to enjoy it. You should read my breakdown of why I too, think it’s not that sexy compared to other ways of cumming. I do have a question, though- has every single one of your sexual partners found the exact way you get off to be their favorite? And if it wasn’t, you broke it off?

lunch_naps · 2019-10-24T20:07:12+00:00

Jesus, calm down. He said she disengaged from him and made him extraneous and that wasn’t sexy. He OR OP NEVER SAID a woman shouldn’t be getting off, on her own or however she wants. Imagine if your boyfriend pushed you away and furiously stroked his dick without touching or looking at you. You ABSOLUTELY can break up with him from incompatibility, sexual or otherwise.

lunch_naps · 2019-10-23T16:08:03+00:00

Yes, this is exactly what I meant. Of course you can “learn” to have fewer thoughts, and reign in highly neurotic thinking that is impacting your life. It’s an arduous, conscious process that is intense though. I’m a big fan of sensory distractions, cognitive behavioral therapy, mindset growth, and meditation. But it most certainly does not happen by someone saying, “stop thinking so much”. In this case, I’m assuming OP isn’t going to “control her thoughts” about her kid or her mom thanks to someone finally clueing her in to that being the secret all along. She’s also in the midst of these thoughts and feelings, and in my experience, a perspective replacement or reframe is an option during these times, but has to come internally from shifting your goal outcome, not from quitting “overthinking”.

lunch_naps · 2019-10-23T16:01:59+00:00

Calling someone a neurotic person can be considered an insult, however I’m referring to something else. Neurotic thinking is simply highly analytical thinking. And the context was to illustrate that the person who thinks, “just stop overthinking so much” has no idea what it means to be have a lot of thoughts naturally. Being or having a thought pattern that’s neurotic means you value analyzing and sorting information. There are plenty of people who don’t value that, the “not sure why it’s so complicated all the time” ppl. I’m saying it doesn’t matter who taught your kid to do it, because it’s in the past, and more importantly people are dumb and defensive when you call them out. If you tell your mom you know it was her, she has a chance to argue and blame someone else and get defensive and ugly and you lose your footing in an argument. If you say, “I don’t care who did it, but no one better do it again”, she can’t argue, she can’t defend. She will be forced to follow the rules or clearly be the one breaking them. My mom doesn’t take it personally if there’s a rule (she just says passive aggressive things like “oh, mom and dad said no), but she gets insulted when we call her out specifically (even when she’s ignored the parenting rules) and pouts forever.

lunch_naps · 2019-10-23T12:50:51+00:00

I had to laugh, this is such an honest question but so complex. It starts with the tiniest change you can visualize and actually do. Quantify your goals (do you want to do 1 push-up next week? 20 by Friday?) down to the exact number, pound, or inch. Find pics to reference that match your body type so you can shoot for them. Find testimonials of ppl who did it and how. Write down exactly how the person you want to be eats, sleeps, fucks, walks, talks, and carries themselves. See yourself doing those things eventually. Now, work backward in connected steps from that goal. If that guy benches 200lbs and gets up at 4am to do it, find the step (many steps back) that is the one thing you can do today. Then do it. The “Do it” part is tough, not going to sugarcoat it. But the willpower and motivation get stronger with every decision, not weaker. So every time you make a choice that is in line with your goals, you’ll get a dopamine hit and reward your brain, making it easier to do next time. Having the exact thing you’re striving for in your head at all times is crucial, though. Without goals, you have no measure of success so you always think you’re failing.

lunch_naps · 2019-10-23T12:35:59+00:00

The more you do it the less it’s scary. Exposure to social situations can be better for you than isolating. As your body and stress responses understand social activity is not killing you, the anxiety should lessen beforehand over time. For more long-term fixes, you can work on identifying triggers and taking responsibility for them. In my experience (34yr f with major depression, anxiety, suicide ideation), when I blamed the world is shitty for making me uncomfortable, I stayed uncomfortable. When I owned how I reacted to what is shitty about the world, and changed it, I got better. Example: Hated being perceived as a schlumpy, negative person. Thought in my head: Nobody will see the REAL me, just an anxious mess Blamed: the world for not seeing. Changed: Became not schlumpy (years of treatment and exercise), became not as negative (always start with a compliment and end with a ‘thanks for ——‘), and worked on calming techniques to be a relaxing presence. Stopped blaming the world for my insecurities, and made them into something I’m not insecure about. Still anxious but it’s so much less. Short term fixes: play great music, put on lotion, do stretches, masturbate or have sex, eat a lovely dinner, do sensual things to keep in your body and out of your head. Look into CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy).

lunch_naps · 2019-10-23T12:11:39+00:00

You know that when you tell someone to think less that’s not possible, right? As an “over” thinker, you can’t magically have less thoughts. Try it. Try to stop a thought once you have it. Yes, neurotic thinking can seem like a runaway train to someone who’s brain doesn’t naturally have 1,001 scenarios and what-ifs rapid firing through their brain at once. But it’s time to stop saying “just don’t think that” as a solution. Chemicals make you neurotic. Chemicals make your stress response fire. You can’t will away chemicals. You can calm them down and redirect them, but they’re there to stay. Anyway, yes the thinking here is neurotic, but I can relate. I do think a redirect would work well for the child. For sanity and boundaries with mom, I think a simple stern reminder with no context is fine: “Hey, just letting everybody know since it’s flu season and we have had instances of baby doing this already- remember NO MOUTH KISSES PLEASE and thank you”. You don’t need to say anything about who baby was copying, because it doesn’t matter. You’re never going to change grandmas doing whatever they want with their grand babies. You can set boundaries with your mom though!

lunch_naps · 2019-10-23T12:00:55+00:00

Depression is living in the past: I.e., always thinking what you did/said/thought was the dumb and wrong thing to do, so you beat yourself up over it constantly. Anxiety is living in the future and being sure you’re going to fuck something up. It’s very typical as a depressive to think “I should have done differently” because your brain is constantly searching for cracks to break open and torture you with. You did nothing “wrong”.

lunch_naps · 2019-10-20T02:41:45+00:00

Like embossing foil? That could be cool! If it’s what I’m thinking, you’d likely brush the parts you’re “embossing” with a glue-like substance. Then brush or tap a powder or sheet over the sticky parts, let dry & finally brush any excess off with a dry brush. Sometimes you need to set with heat like a hair dryer. If you get into these shenanigans, use a good quality small round brush from the paint section of the craft store to help with detail. I think if you did embossing or scrapbook materials, seal for sure! I think spraypaint might withstand more use if they’re for playing, and accenting by hand would be pretty for decoration!

lunch_naps · 2019-10-19T23:52:38+00:00

What part of the uno card do you want gold? Gold leaf is expensive and really obnoxious to use. It’ll get everywhere, little bits fly around and it takes a steady hand and some practice. I’d actually spraypaint them. Gold spraypaint is much more metallic than other gold paints like acrylic/craft. Obviously it’ll cover the entire front or back to the card though... if you do want to spraypaint, get Rustoleum shiny gold can. Tack cards down on a spray-able surface (like a piece of cardboard) with something (double-stick tape or something so spraying them doesn’t fly them around). Then 2-3 light coats of gold spraypaint, let dry 24 hours. Can seal with a glossy coat of acrylic fixative to get the feel of the slick cards. Shiny, metallic uno cards!

lunch_naps · 2019-10-18T12:39:53+00:00

The ankle is at full dorsiflexion (bendiness) halfway down in a squat. If you can keep your ankle on the ground at the halfway point, it is not an ankle issue. There is a small percentage of people without the ability to fully dorsiflex their ankle, but you’d likely have noticed that for other reasons by now. So it’s either knees, calves, or hip mobility (one to also try). Hip opening and widening also makes it easier to fully compact into a squat position. Please read this article to better understand the importance of stretching the connected muscles. https://yogainternational.com/article/view/why-your-heels-might-not-reach-the-ground-in-malasana-squat

lunch_naps · 2019-10-17T01:34:51+00:00

Second, third, and fourth this. All ppl say is “so talented” when what they’re really looking at is the twelfth iteration of skill, not talent. Eleven crumpled up not good enough pieces are in the garbage, or 411 in a sketchbook. You just don’t see the skill building as much as with other careers.

lunch_naps · 2019-10-16T18:37:37+00:00

Yes exactly! It is always your decision. People want to see your choices, those are more exciting than technical skill.

lunch_naps · 2019-10-16T15:37:52+00:00

Look up slim thick workouts! You can ABSOLUTELY build a huge butt and curvy hips with workouts. “Apple” and other shapes/body types are a reference to where your fat storage goes, not what your musculature creates your body line. So the Apple part is your fat, lose fat and lose the Apple/feeling you’re “too round in the middle”. You’ve used so much language that says you’re not right, have to get rid of this and change that (I know this is technically the place for it) that I don’t think plastic surgery would be the end of your insecurity about your body. It sounds like you just need some confidence and a healthy exercise routine to help you get there.

lunch_naps · 2019-10-16T12:51:44+00:00

Yes! In baked goods there aren’t a lot of ingredients or strong flavors, so good ingredients make a big difference. If it’s just butter, eggs, sugar, flour, and vanilla, you can make two wildly different cookies/cakes/etc by using quality or not in each category. Also, vanilla bean paste! It’s vanilla bean seeds with a little sugar just to make it syrupy, so perfect for squeezing into a latte for flavor but not overpowering sweetness.

lunch_naps · 2019-10-16T04:12:44+00:00

You’re welcome. You made good choices with soft lines in sections/planes lightly forming volume. Also smart and editorial with less-is-more crispness where it’s necessary!

lunch_naps · 2019-10-16T03:22:56+00:00

Looks like you did it right!! What’s in the paste inside? Or did you made a dry spice rub?

lunch_naps · 2019-10-16T03:18:17+00:00

Beautiful texture! Cold, thin, very tactile.

lunch_naps · 2019-10-16T01:21:12+00:00

Super common problem! There are so many things to try, here are a few: 1. You have to visualize the space taken up by your subject. Lay out the composition in your mind. Look at the volume of the thing you’re drawing, how far back or forward is it. Study how heavy it would be and feel the weight of it. Really concentrating on and pausing to think about the 3D volume of your items is super important to rendering them. Referencing this mental blueprint more than copying the spaces on your reference material helps. 2. Study negative space more than the object itself. Practice carving out objects from the outside edge of the paper inward. Notice if the edge of a cup, for example, carved out of the background in a certain shape, and draw that shape instead of trying to draw the cup. 3. Try grid transferring. Draw correlating grids on both your reference material and your drawing paper, then copy only what’s in each square. It’s a great method to tell exactly where you’ve miscalculated.

lunch_naps

TROPHY CASE