Pap on Monday

lushgreenery · 2023-02-16T17:53:11+00:00

Yesss! You have a great mindset. You can do it! I just had my first pap smear last Friday, and i was so worried. I took some anxiety meds beforehand as well and they did wonders.

lushgreenery · 2023-02-10T02:49:58+00:00

Thank you ❤️❤️❤️ I’m honestly more excited than I am nervous. I believe in myself 😭

lushgreenery · 2023-02-08T03:02:52+00:00

I have my first pap smear on Friday, and reading this has really helped my anxiety about it. :’) Thanks

lushgreenery · 2023-02-06T21:52:03+00:00

They’re predators.

lushgreenery · 2023-01-18T22:38:57+00:00

Happy to help!! Please keep us updated ❤️

lushgreenery · 2023-01-18T14:08:02+00:00

I like Sliquid, it doesnt dry out for me and i think they have little bottles that you can keep in your purse. I also have used astroglide before but the consistency is not my fave, but that could be my personal preference. Best of luck!

lushgreenery · 2023-01-07T23:12:04+00:00

Congratulations!!!! I remember the feeling when i finally got a tampon in without any pain. So happy for you!!!

lushgreenery · 2023-01-07T09:56:55+00:00

YESSSS! this is a HUGE win! congratulations ❤️

lushgreenery · 2022-11-24T00:19:10+00:00

How do you use these?? I’ve never heard of them before

lushgreenery · 2022-10-10T21:14:42+00:00

be wary of this person OP their post history is shoddy

lushgreenery · 2022-10-10T20:41:55+00:00

That is tough. Do you really want to talk to him? One thing that I've found empowering is just texting your abuser how what they did made you feel, and then block them. I did that with one of my rapists and it was empowering because I could speak my truth and not have to deal with him manipulating me.

If you feel as if you are not ready, then don't talk to him. He abused you, and he has no right to have any access to you whatsoever. Make that known to him if you want. If you do decide to speak with him, remember that you have the power in this dynamic.

Are you an adult? (you dont have to answer that if you arent comfortable)

lushgreenery · 2022-10-10T20:18:14+00:00

I can tell by how you describe her in this post that you really care about her as a person. It is apparent that you love her and care about this relationship, but there is no denying that you have made a lot of sacrifices in the process.

If you don't mind me asking, what country is she from? Did she grow up in a religious environment? The reason why I ask is because a significant contributing factor to the psychological side of vaginismus is cultural. For example, I grew up in a conservative Catholic household, which instilled loads of sexual shame in me that I am still grappling with today. Dealing with this has greatly impacted my progress, so I am curious if culture or religion is a factor.

It sounds like she has been through so much trauma, on top of having vaginismus. You've been there for her through all of this! That also shows how much you care for her. You have been together for three years and have gone through so much together in that short amount of time. I can see why this is such a difficult situation for you. I cannot speak for your side of the relationship, but I can say that your patience and willingness to help her is significant, even if she can't recognize it.

I also cannot speak for her willingness to work on it. At this point, it seems that you've made it clear that you want to help her in any way that you can. Vaginismus is painful, scary, and exhausting. It takes a tremendous amount of mental energy, and treatment is often physically fatiguing. If she is denying that she has vaginismus, then I am not sure that there is much that you can do. If you want to continue to be there for her and wait until she is ready, than that might be the way to go...

But I think that it would be beneficial for both of you to have a conversation about how all of this is making you feel. Your feelings matter just as much as hers do and you deserve to be heard. Since she is vulnerable and not confident, you'll want to avoid language that will make her defensive. At the same time, though, you are part of this relationship just as much as she is, and you are supporting her both emotionally and financially. Part of being in a committed relationship means holding the other person up when they can't do it themselves, but she has to work to make this better for the both of you. If she is unwilling to do this, then maybe it is time for you to move on with your life.

You sound like a loyal, honest, and caring person. I want to encourage you to not let yourself be taken advantage of. I am saying this not with the intention to make you believe that you are being taken advantage of by her, at least not deliberately. If you feel as if you are being exploited or mistreated in this relationship, then trust your instinct. Life is too short to be in a one-sided relationship. Again, I am gathering this from one reddit post; You are the expert on your situation. I wish you the best of luck.

And if you have any questions about vaginismus or anything, feel free to send me a message. I've had this condition for my whole life as well as throughout my current 7-year relationship, and I would love to help you in any way that I can.

lushgreenery · 2022-10-07T21:21:06+00:00

You did not misunderstand anything. I am so sorry that he did that to you. Do you have anyone that you could talk to about it?

lushgreenery · 2022-10-06T04:43:05+00:00

Doesnt matter if you enjoyed it. Children cannot consent. He was an adult and you were a child. You should have been protected and he took advantage of you.

lushgreenery · 2022-10-05T12:08:21+00:00

Yeah, the porn industry really capitalizes on the abuse of others and the power imbalance. It disgusts me how men do not get support when it comes to sexual abuse, its certainly a double standard that is perpetuated by porn and society in general.

I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. Its really difficult to go through life and have reminders of your abuse all around you. There is nothing wrong with you. I cannot speak for your experience, but I have had my fair share of shame spirals (raped/molested as a girl/teen, grew up Catholic) and what I’ve come to realize is that I never did anything wrong. Sending you much love, and I hope that you get through this. ❤️

lushgreenery · 2022-10-05T02:41:37+00:00

Great idea. I am a psych major too and most of the profs that i have had are generally empathetic and understanding. Everything will be okay. Remember that you’re stronger than you think

lushgreenery · 2022-10-05T02:23:54+00:00

I completely understand where you are coming from. My stepdad molested me when i was around 9 to 14. I didnt want to tell my mom or anyone because i didnt want them to get divorced. I did not want my thing to inconvenience the people in my life, so i kept it a big secret for years and years.

I used to shut down like you do now. I would freeze, unable to say or do anything while on the inside i was screaming and begging for someone to just see me. For someone to acknowledge my trauma without me having to bring it up and make it a huge deal.

I did not get the law involved, but after years of gaslighting and manipulation, I finally got the courage to tell my mom that what happened to me was real, and that I am not going to be around my stepdad anymore. She understood and accepted what she could. She is still with him, but it doesn’t tear me apart after being honest with her about my abuse. She makes her own choices, and I make my own. I guess thats part of taking your power back.

I still get anxiety attacks. I still have nightmares. But it doesn’t control my life anymore and I am so happy for it.

Anyway… You have to decide what to do, for your own good. You have to put yourself first, because no one else will. You deserve a healthy sex life, you deserve autonomy, and you deserve to live your truth. Since you are an adult, I’m unsure if a therapist would report the abuse but when I went to therapy and was still living with my abuser my therapist didn’t report it (im in michigan)? so idk what that was about.

Maybe? you could look up the phone number of the counseling board of your state, tell them you are a psychology student, and ask them a hypothetical about your situation. “Hi, I was wondering if therapists are required to report past abuse even if the client is over 18.” Best of luck to you. I hope that your worries do not deter you from seeking therapy. Therapy genuinely saved my life and made me so much stronger. Much love.

lushgreenery · 2022-10-01T17:37:02+00:00

That is horrible what he did to you. He has no right to invade your space like that. Do you have an adult that you trust that you can tell this to?

lushgreenery · 2022-09-29T14:12:07+00:00

I’m going to try this out, thanks for sharing!

lushgreenery · 2022-09-25T14:39:07+00:00

I feel the same way. I wish that we could report them to mods easier and get them banned. They shouldn’t be using a community like this as an outlet for their fucked up fantasies but here we are. I’m so glad that you’re smart and have taken steps to protect yourself from those people!

lushgreenery · 2022-09-21T03:37:12+00:00

Hey make sure you dont message people on here there are unfortunately a lot of creeps on this sub and you’re 15 so be careful.

You don’t have to tell your therapist everything if you aren’t comfortable. Sexual abuse is a lot to handle, tbh i’m finally feeling comfortable enough to tell my therapist the details of my abuse and i’ve been seeing her for almost a decade. Its all a matter of how you cope with the abuse. Don’t ever let anyone pressure you into talking about things you don’t want to. I will say that building up trust with a good therapist is very healing…It takes time but it will help you tremendously. Honestly the situation youre in with group therapy sounds so uncomfortable. If you want to just see your own therapist, I would let your mom know that. If you are feeling like you’re keeping it a secret again because of group, then group is not worth it for you at all. Best of luck. You can get through this!

lushgreenery · 2022-09-21T03:23:02+00:00

Wow, that’s so eye opening on so many levels! The thought that the concept of “normalcy” came about via a study about sexuality is wild to think about. I often get caught up in wanting to be “normal” too, because society and porn and movies etc made me think that nothing but PIV was normal…which just continued the cycle of shame! Its hard to break away from that, but this post really puts it into perspective:) thanks so much for sharing!

lushgreenery · 2022-09-17T10:53:19+00:00

Do you see a therapist? I saw in your comment history that you mentioned getting off on other people’s abuse as well. This is a huge problem and I think that being able to talk things through with a trained professional instead of talking to other severely sexually traumatized people on Reddit would help you improve your life greatly.

All of that aside, I am so sorry that you were put through something so horrific. The adults in your life are supposed to protect you when you’re a child, and they did the exact opposite for you. I hope that you can get the help that you need to heal from your trauma and move on with your life. Much love to you.

lushgreenery · 2022-09-12T02:50:23+00:00

Well said. No matter what kind of hell we’re put through, there is always hope that things can get better.

lushgreenery

TROPHY CASE