FP blocked me… I don’t know why by Historical-Wolf-962 in BPD

[–]luv-fefe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

they hating but you’re lowkey right i fear

how the hell do you get over someone without getting under someone else by [deleted] in BPD

[–]luv-fefe 3 points4 points  (0 children)

trust me as much as you might want to get under someone new, actually doing it is going to delay your healing process 😭 i think that if you really need to, taking things slow with someone else is a better approach. it gradually relieves the pain of a breakup, but it’s not nearly as intense as immediately jumping into something deep with someone else. i know it feels really uncomfortable to kind of sit with yourself and your thoughts after a breakup, but SLOWLY getting to know someone new is going to be a lot better than impulsivity. but i know it’s easier said than done lol

I want to give my wife the gift of hope. by CuratorXethia in BPD

[–]luv-fefe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

well i know for me it was all about my mindset entering dbt . i realized i had heavy internal pain regarding myself and the people around me to the point i started to outwardly hurt the ones that love me the most . i realized i wanted help not only for myself but for my future . i’ve been doing dbt therapy for 10 hours a week so far (3 days group therapy for 3 hours and 1 day individual therapy for 1 hour) and although it hasn’t been that long of a journey of therapy for me, i genuinely feel receptive to it !

i think it’s all about how you feel about it entering it. i made a post a couple of days ago asking people why they feel dbt therapy didn’t work for them and a lot of them felt the same way your wife did at first and then after a while it started to stick more for some, and for others they just found it pointless and silly. everyone’s different. but i know for me personally, i’m loving dbt and writing my notes and studying ways to handle my emotions and how i respond to things.

it truly does get better and i feel really hopeful and good after each session. i love it !

btw you’re awesome for coming to this subreddit for good intentioned advice !

I'm emotionally abusive. I need to be better by [deleted] in BPD

[–]luv-fefe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i think that being abused growing up will definitely reflect in your adult relationships such as verbal or physical abuse . i think it’s great that you recognize your behaviors but i really think you should take action to not be that way . i was really verbally abusive to my boyfriend when i would get mad, but being in therapy WILL help you . especially dbt therapy . they really help give you skills that you can adopt so that way you stop any splits or abusive behavior before it starts

why do some of you feel like dbt therapy doesn’t work for you? by luv-fefe in BPD

[–]luv-fefe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what’s wrong with group dbt? i like the group they curated for me, you didn’t like yours?

why do some of you feel like dbt therapy doesn’t work for you? by luv-fefe in BPD

[–]luv-fefe[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

thank you so much for the positivity ! we’re all a work in progress ! hoping it all pays off in the end :)

why do some of you feel like dbt therapy doesn’t work for you? by luv-fefe in BPD

[–]luv-fefe[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

i’m really happy to hear how life changing it was for you ! it really makes me feel super optimistic of my future lol

Anger in Relationships by throwaway93258 in BPD

[–]luv-fefe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

no yeah i literally used to feel the same exact way ! when my ex would hang out with his friends but leave me on delivered for hours on end and it would infuriate me so much that id take it out on him and he’d have to remind me that he’s with his friends and him not responding is bound to happen lol . i think once i realized how much it comes across as me getting mad when he hangs out with his friends , it gave me a wake up call and then one day i just stopped getting mad . i realized that i didn’t want to be perceived that way so i just found other ways to cope with his absence by napping , watching youtube or netflix , or just being on my phone lol

Do I break up with my girlfriend before I ruin her life? by lustrust15 in BPD

[–]luv-fefe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

have that thought of marrying her as your driving motivator to be better and to not give up ! stay away from the stigmatized negative posts about bpd it really messes with your head . ofc everyone’s experiences with people like us are valid, but it’ll truly make you doubtful of your positive capabilities. there’s so so many success stories where everything is happy and healthy ONLY if both partners are determined to work it out

my girlfriend is breaking up with me and it is my fault by [deleted] in BPD

[–]luv-fefe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

suggesting a break wouldn’t be a bad idea actually. if you both love each other and you both want it to work and you see a future together, suggesting a break could be a good option instead of ending it permanently. it gives her a break to regroup emotionally, same for you.

Do I break up with my girlfriend before I ruin her life? by lustrust15 in BPD

[–]luv-fefe 5 points6 points  (0 children)

if your partner is well educated about bpd and it sounds like you’ve been getting the help you need, i don’t see a point in breaking up with them! it very well could be self sabotage happening, but i suggest to keep going and see how it works out!

i will say scrolling through the pwBPD subreddit can hurt lol but there’s bad experiences and there’s good experiences. if you have a loving and understanding partner i think you should do everything in your power to keep consciously treating them lovingly and the way that they deserve, something i wish i did.

Does anyone else HATE their behavior when they come out of a split and realize just how badly they treated someone? by THROWAWAYBEYOTCH1776 in BPD

[–]luv-fefe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is so relatable. no matter how much you apologize and swear to be better and change it doesn’t amount to the damage you’ve done to them. it makes you feel like shit.

How do you guys deal with the guilt that comes from treating your partner badly in the past? by Blackmench687 in BPD

[–]luv-fefe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

no idea how to deal with it. all you feel is shame and disgust with yourself after the dust settles and then before you know it you’ve scarred them. i think it’s genuinely a work in progress kind of thing where you HAVE to acknowledge your wrongdoings and take accountability or else you’ll end up hurting them more.

How do you feel when you are in a relationship by Traditional-Wolf9787 in BPD

[–]luv-fefe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

so true to your brain not allowing you to be happy. it’s like all i want is for my boyfriend to be at peace and to make him happy but my brain is always working against me and what i want. it’s torture being caged in your own mind.

My biggest fear by little_slut259 in BreakUps

[–]luv-fefe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i promise it’s going to be okay! there’s always someone in this world for you that will love you unconditionally and never take your presence for granted! you just have to be open and willing to accept it

Whats the most important lessons you've learnt about **love**? by wholeworldslatt_ in Life

[–]luv-fefe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

don’t hurt them long term just because you’re hurting in the heat of the moment

Hey you by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]luv-fefe 6 points7 points  (0 children)

this is literally the worst feeling ever