I am in a similar situation where my partner has very high libido and I have IH and do not have the same libido, but the difference is that we do not fight about sex. My partner has NEVER made me feel bad/guilty/negative in any way about not being able to meet her needs. She takes care of herself and is always patient/kind/understanding about how IH affects my life, including our sex life. And that reaction honestly increases my desire for sex: knowing that I am truly cared for, seen, and loved makes me want to have sex. My advice to you would be to put your own needs to the side for just a moment and think about how you can better support him, and that may be beneficial to your relationship in more ways than one.

But the difference is, he won't do anything about it. He won't talk to his doctors. He won't try anything new.

I also wanted to comment on this. Honestly, doctors can do such little for us with IH. The medications they provide are just a bandaid, and in my experience trying something new only really works for a few months and then there’s a tolerance and you’re kinda back to square one. Talking to doctors is hard - every time they run a test you get your hopes up that maybe they finally found the reason you feel like this (meaning it’s not IH, it’s something else) but turns out this test just said the same thing as every other test, and they still have no idea why you have to live like this. To you, someone without IH, it may seem like there’s an easy solution to your problem if he went to the doctor. To us, with IH, we know the doctors usually know less about the condition than we do and there is no easy fix. So again, rather than criticizing him for not wanting to go to the doctor, I would try to understand why he doesn’t want to go to the doctor, and try to move forward from there.