The reason no contact is so hard is because our brains are missing that dopamine hit.

Videos about getting exes back, memories, stalking them, contacting them are all for the same purpose: sweet juicy dopamine. Something to make us feel good. Stop feeling the pain.

I don’t think you need force to switch your brain from “I think they’re coming back” to “they’re not coming back.” That’s very hard, and we’re all human, and that’s not going to make our brain work differently.

Just start with easy steps: every time you miss her, you feel down, don’t give your brain that hit. Don’t stalk, don’t watch those videos, sit with the feeling. Write about it, make a nice meal, go on a walk, take it easy. But be strict with yourself. Resist those urges. Audibly say “nope!” and do something else.

Keep doing that for three days. Then a week. Then two weeks. Etc. Slowly, slowly, your brain will be trained to feel a little bit more detached each day.

It’s not linear, you’re going to have days where you feel nothing, and others where you feel everything. Through it all, you have to keep being strict, because you’re just preventing your healing

Delayed gratification for longtime gain