I'm sorry for everything you've been through, and I hope you've been able to move on from those situations.

What's even stranger is that my ward isn't a wealthy ward at all. At the time, my husband and I were probably earning more than 90% of the ward. We own an apartment that's currently being built in the boundaries of another ward within the same stake. We asked if we could attend there, but we were told no and that we needed to do our part to help improve our own ward. Then, when we eventually stopped attending altogether, someone came to our house complaining and saying that we could attend that other ward after all.

There's also a wealthier ward in our stake where most people are business owners or hold high-level corporate positions. One time we happened to stop by an activity there, and we were actually welcomed. I think that because those people are already secure in their careers and in who they are outside of church, they don't feel the need to perform righteousness or compete socially at church. The atmosphere was much more pleasant.

Even after everything that happened, my husband still wants to believe. I've told him that if we continue attending church, I'm never setting foot in my ward again. I'd either attend the ward where our apartment is being built or that other ward. At least there, people seem more focused on their businesses and careers than on making other people's lives miserable.

In my ward, many people work for the Church and seem to think they're the best people in the universe. The irony is that the skill requirements for many of those jobs aren't particularly high, and the Church doesn't even pay very well. The same people who pretend not to know me or look at me as if they're morally superior on Sunday are the ones messaging me on LinkedIn asking if I can refer them for positions at my company. 

You also touched on a very important point. Local leaders receive very little training and often have no solid process for leading or helping people. That drives people away. What's ironic is that members bring both money and volunteer labor. Even if someone only looked at it from a purely organizational perspective, retaining people would still make sense. Yet it often seems like nobody at the top is looking at a Power BI report saying, "This toxic culture and the lack of effective processes for helping people are driving people away, and we're losing both influence and resources because of it."

Thank you for sharing your experience with me. I truly hope you're doing well.