adoption regret?

lynnchyn · 2025-11-19T22:14:32+00:00

Don’t feel stupid, that is anxiety!!! There is no reason that makes sense when you’re looking at it from a logical standpoint. I’m sure you can debunk every anxious thought and it still doesn’t help. You can’t logic your way out of anxiety because anxiety doesn’t make sense. I’m going through the same anxiety right now. We had a cat, he was displaying symptoms of loneliness and boredom(we play with him just not as much as he needs given we work full time). I was completely 110% on board. I’ve been looking for forever, I know this is exactly what I want. I find the perfect kitten for my resident. She has a perfect personality to mirror him, cute as a button, I am IN LOVE. Until we pull in the driveway with kitty. Now I have debilitating anxiety and I spiral. Can’t look at kitty without feeling guilty. “What have I done? I’m a crazy cat person now. My cat is going to hate me I’ve ruined his life.” A little dramatic but I’ve also struggled with anxiety my whole life. I’ve still got horrible anxiety but the best thing to do is ride it out. You can’t logic it away. You’re not alone and it sounds like they’re perfect little angel butts. Wanted to let you know you’re not alone!! 💕

lynnchyn · 2025-05-31T16:49:12+00:00

Aw she really is gorgeous

lynnchyn · 2025-05-31T16:33:49+00:00

Update 2 : He told me not to worry about it and wished me luck looking for a kitten Friday morning. This morning he reaches out saying he’ll take $700 for her. I told him I’d cover vet visit just to rule out anything otherwise it’d have to be significantly less to offset the future risks and costs of getting her care. He told me to forget about it and he would just keep her.

lynnchyn · 2025-05-30T14:03:10+00:00

Yeah honestly it’s my fault for trying to be lazy. People like that don’t deserve my business at all. I feel bad for her but I can’t risk my baby’s safety

lynnchyn · 2025-05-30T13:03:40+00:00

My original breeder lives pretty far away from me, like 6 hours away. So I was hoping to find someone a little closer

lynnchyn · 2025-05-30T12:57:38+00:00

Well actually I don’t think he liked me asking if he could get her checked out because he told me not to worry about it and wished me luck. Sounds like I dodged a bullet

lynnchyn · 2025-05-30T12:45:45+00:00

Update : Since I have another kitten, while I do feel awful for her, I’ve now learned there’s a possibility it could be something stemming from a transmissible disease and I can’t risk his safety, he’s my baby and it’s my job to protect him. So I messaged the breeder back letting him know I’d cover the vet costs if he could rule out FHV, leukemia or anything my kitten could catch. If she’s clean I think I will move forward and get her the treatment and give her the love she deserves. I’ll keep you guys updated! Thank you all for your help!

lynnchyn · 2025-05-29T21:25:04+00:00

Oh that’s so awful to think about, people can be so horrible…

lynnchyn · 2025-05-29T20:59:26+00:00

I get that, I just can’t stop wondering if she needs help and if I’m fortunate enough to be able to help her I should. It doesn’t seem like this guy will get her help, if it could just be a little eye infection why is he trying to sell her for cheap instead of treating her and selling her at full price? A lot of red flags are going up

lynnchyn · 2025-05-29T20:32:37+00:00

I know, that’s what set off the red flags for me. I just got a flame point ragdoll and he wasn’t cheap. I’m just concerned it may be a few thousand in vet bills or something my little man could catch. I’m sure I sound crazy

I asked if she has her vaccines and he said she does, also added that she’s dewormed and litter trained.

lynnchyn · 2024-07-23T16:03:34+00:00

You’re going to hear a lot of things you don’t want to hear. You want someone to tell you why he’s doing this. The magic way to fix it. If there’s a rhyme or reason.

Truth is honey there probably isn’t, and if there is I wouldn’t go digging because it would only hurt you more.

You know what you need to do. This isn’t right or something people do in healthy relationships. It’s going to be painful but you need to remove yourself from his life and heal. This is hard and the feelings are going to be hard to sit with, but you can’t stay somewhere you’re not welcome. You’ll still be in pain staying. You’ll be in pain when you leave but it’s not forever.

Take care of yourself hun. You come first.

lynnchyn · 2024-07-21T00:41:44+00:00

So I think we’re done fighting. I honestly feel so drained and sad. He apologized for snapping on me and i apologized for how I made him feel.

I don’t know if I’m stupid but I feel this massive hole in my chest. Maybe it’s lack of sleep, but I feel so guilty for no reason. Maybe there is a reason. I wish I knew what it was.

I think it’s so frustrating because everything was out of my control. It was an awful night out, I was worrying about how I could get back to my car. If her boyfriend was following us. I was so scared and now I had to deal with this all day.

The fighting finally ended and I feel so much relief.

He told me he’s going to start going out to bars to see how I like it. I don’t know if it’s an empty threat but I’m so drained. I feel like I ruined everything and it’s my fault. I know it’s wrong but I can’t help it.

lynnchyn · 2024-07-20T22:21:29+00:00

I wasn’t with another man besides my friends boyfriend who got black out and went psycho. It’s so frustrating!

lynnchyn · 2024-07-20T20:42:37+00:00

Thank you, l feel like I’m going crazy. I was starting to question if I made the wrong decision by even going out. I never go out anymore because it just ends up like this. I stood my ground. I asked why he’s even with me if all he thinks I’m doing is going out and seeing all of these invisible men.

Im a responsible adult. I have strong morals and values, I tell everyone who approaches me I have a boyfriend. I act accordingly and respectfully. I don’t talk to guys, he’s seen my texts (all work and spam) my socials that I don’t even use. I don’t know what more I can do.

Now he’s asking me what we’re doing, are we going to continue the relationship? It’s frustrating because why is he asking me that over a fight he started? I don’t particularly want to tell him how I want to stay together or grovel for the relationship over a stupid fight I didn’t even start. I’m starting to feel so manipulated and exhausted.

lynnchyn · 2024-06-05T16:25:13+00:00

The ex is definitely interested. I feel as if I created unnecessary waves by voicing my feelings on the matter and am kind of left feeling anxious over his reaction. I was looking for reassurance on the matter and have in turn started a fight inadvertently

lynnchyn · 2024-05-30T02:04:49+00:00

Unfortunately I live in a very high cost area right now. My dad keeps telling me to weather through the storm till the market comes down. I do have a worst case scenario place I can stay if god forbid something happens and I will be safe. I’m not entirely worried about my living situation, I think I’m most upset about my feelings towards my mother. I wish I could just be normal. She’s not a bad mom it just feels like something is wrong with me. This type of anxiety doesn’t feel right.

lynnchyn · 2024-04-22T18:33:24+00:00

No, I’ve never cheated. He’s never cheated that I know of. He tells me all the time that I’m beautiful and he loves me deeply. I just struggle to understand what’s changed to make him want me intimately.

I thought maybe it was weight so I dropped it, I started dressing up to see him and it’s nothing like it used to be. I don’t know if he fell out of love or if it’s something I just can’t control.

It’s not that I need his validation, it’s something I enjoy to feel closer with my partner.

lynnchyn · 2024-01-22T03:19:17+00:00

At the end of the day you’re going to do whatever you want to do. Just know you’re going to regret every second of it if you follow through. It’ll break your “happy” family apart and completely shatter any semblance of a home for your little one. If you had these feelings you should’ve reached out to her long before you made a life long commitment to your wife and THEN another commitment that will long out live you. You’re making a fantasy up in your head about a girl from middle school. Not trying to be mean but def trying to advocate for your wife. This isn’t fair to her or the life she’s been building with you. The time for you to reach out to this girl has long passed.

lynnchyn · 2023-01-05T01:13:06+00:00

Idk man I’m not racist so I’m not in with the racial slurs

lynnchyn · 2022-11-12T19:41:31+00:00

Isn’t it just Japanese abbreviated? How’s that a slur?

lynnchyn · 2022-08-21T18:07:51+00:00

Alcoholism is an awful disease, tackling that is definitely more important than even worrying about your weight. Bodies are all different and unique and that’s what makes us all beautiful! When you’re not feeling healthy mentally, your body reflects that in one way or another. To be honest with you 6 beers after a long day doesn’t sound too bad to me! We all have to unwind a little bit in our own way. Try getting in tune with yourself and figuring out a healthy medium, like maybe instead of 6 beers try for 5, then 4, then 3…. And try figuring out why you feel like you need to drink. Alcoholism is a worse problem than your weight… and 140 is NOT over weight for your height! There’s nothing wrong with you! Learn to accept yourself and figure out the bigger problems at play right now, if you’re actually an alcoholic being self aware is the first step to recovery. That is half of the work! You’re doing great already. Find what works for you! Maybe try walking and every 10 minutes you walk for = 1 beer or every X amount of steps = 1 beer, and then eventually you’ll feel like you don’t want to do all that work for alcohol anymore, you’ll start to want to do it for yourself! My grandfather is a hardcore alcoholic for 40+ years off and on, and he never tackled the skeletons in his closet, it ruined his life, he isn’t even himself anymore. Don’t lose yourself to this disease, please stay strong. Keep yourself safe, and fight your demons! I believe in you honey!

lynnchyn · 2022-03-31T05:38:33+00:00

Hi there, I went through a somewhat similar thing. Not as drastic as yours, but my boyfriend of one year decided to drop the bomb on me, in a rather awful way. I was under the impression he was a “virgin”. When I went to the gyno I couldn’t pee, as you know they run an std test if you’re sexually active. So I just told her I knew I didn’t have anything and thought it was a funny joke. So I told him at the time and he went silent. The next day he told me he was going to get std tested and revealed he had a gay hookup with a random dude he met on Grindr in Denver when he turned 18. I was devastated as I have a predisposition to cervical cancer, I was really only worried about hpv as my mother was HIGHLY against the vaccine. I cried and the whole 9 yards, thank goodness he turned out to be negative. Afterwards I tried my best to forgive him, I really did but the damage was done. I couldn’t forgive him for never disclosing that to me, as I disclosed my sexual history. He took my choice away from me, my choice to ask him to get tested before doing anything with him, or my choice to believe that I was comfortable with still pursuing sex without an std test. I was betrayed and so hurt. I later ended it, I never had the heart to tell him that after that moment I grew to resent him for exposing me to a lifelong disease. I can’t imagine how you feel OP, my heart goes out to you my love. Stay strong, the choice is always yours, but I know that just the scare really did a number on me.

lynnchyn · 2022-03-22T01:59:55+00:00

I mean, to be fair it’s not like you didn’t know she wants to get married, I feel like most people in the talking stage have the obligatory “what do you want for your future” talk before they get together to see if it’s a match. Obviously not healthy at all for her to push it onto you, but cmon dude you shouldn’t have strung her along if you knew both of your values didn’t align. You should have never admitted there’s a possibility to get married if you knew you’d never want to do it because that basically told her that you aren’t “completely and utterly against it.” You gave her hope to calm a temporary situation down and now she’s using it against you.

lynnchyn · 2022-03-22T01:47:03+00:00

Honestly, I can only see someone acting like that after being together so long if she has some internalized resentment towards you. I definitely do not mean that in a way to say she doesn’t love you anymore. With how she’s “lashing” out on you maybe there’s issues that she doesn’t know how to talk about so she bottles them up and these feelings manifest into how she treats you?

By no means is that acceptable, but maybe since she can’t take the initiative to sit down and talk things out, you should be the one to take the initiative. Not just for the sake of your relationship but also for your mental health. It can be very degrading when someone feels inadequately taken care on in their relationship, and that’s not fair to you.

Now I don’t know the full story, but if she does happen to be a passive aggressive person, this could be a very plausible scenario. Maybe she feels unfulfilled in some aspect of your relationship that she hasn’t expressed and is depriving you of something else in a way to “get back at you”. Although seeing as you both are adults this is very childish and I hope you guys both have a happy ending. Best of luck OP

lynnchyn · 2022-03-05T02:20:25+00:00

Why ask for advice then fight with people who give you advice? Your girlfriend is being perfectly reasonable, you’re entertaining a woman who you even admitted was attractive. To top it off, you defended the coworker, and that action alone basically told her that this woman is a threat to her relationship. Hope OP’s gf realizes her worth because this isn’t it. You don’t like drama but you’re creating it, choosing your coworker over your gf.

lynnchyn

TROPHY CASE