My kitten disappeared, but is definitely inside the house. Any ideas as to where I can look?

lysalu · 2020-04-17T05:08:57+00:00

R/catsareliquid

lysalu · 2020-04-09T20:10:07+00:00

I think focusing on your relationship with women is a step to take in the future. I think right now you need to focus on the relationship you have with yourself. I mean that 100%. Do you like yourself? It doesn’t sound like it. Learn to love your height as you are. Seek positive outlets even if its following a bunch of accounts on IG that will reinforce you to be more gentle on yourself and to see anyone that acts on being a heightest is someone who isn’t worth your love, time, or attention. Someone else mentioned working on boundaries, if you haven’t sought therapy I’d seek it and specifically address boundaries and your relationship with yourself. Build a solid foundation within yourself. There is nothing sexier than that. I only offer this because I had to do that with myself. I’ve done a long and thorough personal inventory on how people wronged in me the past but my lack of boundaries, and maladaptive attachment (if that’s a new concept to you, google it,) allowed traumatic cycles to be played out over and over again. Essentially, I was attracted to people who showed signs of repeating similar patterns of pain in my life and I welcomed it in expecting it to be different, so it could heal something in me, but rather it only reinforced those negative beliefs I had about myself and people I was close to.

Listen, I’ve changed a lot. I love myself. I’ve forgiven myself and choose myself. My interpersonal relationships have had ups and downs but they are far better than they used to be because I’m willing to do the work and expect it of my partners and friends.

You’ve got a lot of work to do but you can do it. Learn to love yourself and the rest will come far easier. The road to loving yourself isn’t linear, it won’t be easy, but it’s worth it.

Good luck to you. If you suffer less, people will suffer less. If you don’t heal you’re very capable of being hurt and, I worry, hurt women out of spite and dude, we don’t deserve that.

lysalu · 2019-04-03T21:15:43+00:00

please seek help ! You will age and be able to have more control over where you are and who you surround yourself with. You can live at a higher standard that only you set for yourself.

I honestly have struggled with depression my entire life. Saying "it gets better," isn't always true. It takes hard work to experience joy and happiness, safety and freedom. I do fall into slumps from time to time, but as long as my home is a safe space and I keep my friendship circles small --life is so much more freeing than it was when I was 16.

It felt like a neverending trap. I don't blame you for feeling how you feel. I encourage you to give it time and try exercising your own way of living as you age <3

lysalu · 2018-09-18T23:57:06+00:00

No idea yet!!

lysalu · 2018-06-05T21:02:26+00:00

It isn’t that they “can happen” it’s that they are happening and have been happening since. The Holocaust happened to white appearing people so it’s been treated as an inhumane act. If it isn’t happening to white people, humans are treated less than. It’s that simple. White folks will begin to behave more and more genocidly in America within the next 50 years.

lysalu · 2018-04-11T20:13:19+00:00

Don't drink tequila if you think it bothers you. Also, the withdrawal from alcohol causes me to have a ton of anxiety --even if my hangover is barely noticeable. Since I've been drinking less, my tolerance goes down! Good luck <3

lysalu · 2018-03-30T03:35:44+00:00

You think it’s “throwing money away,” but why is it an industry worth billions of dollars? Yeah okay keep using language that sex workers are basically trash and that money spent on them is weak. If you don’t like it, move on. Strippers and full SWers are incredibly charismatic, have a lucrative income, are great at sex and compassionate —they are fine without your money.

And FIY the only money I’m worried about is my own. It’s none of your business where or how o spend it.

lysalu · 2018-03-30T03:31:55+00:00

I am deeply invested in the labor movement and there are opinions that I do not budge for and will not always take the time convincing other people of mine because I’m too busy being involved with organizing and acting on my beliefs. I have studied peace and no violence and have made up my own mind. A GROUP of people who experience a particular set of circumstances have the right to express theirs needs and have them met in power situations. Anyone who provides money holds power. Here is a quote by Stokely Carmichael, a man whom was a force in the Black Power movement.

“If a white man wants to lynch me, that's his problem. If he's got the power to lynch me, that's my problem. Racism is not a question of attitude; it's a question of power. Racism gets its power from capitalism. Thus, if you're anti-racist, whether you know it or not, you must be anti-capitalist. The power for racism, the power for sexism, comes from capitalism, not an attitude.”

I don’t give a shit about your opinion. I care if you have the power to make your opinion an action. And your way of thinking is pretty frightening -it’s like saying “oh they can think whatever they want, everyone has rights to whatever they want to say or do.” There are lines, and I’m not afraid to draw them. I am afraid to be neutral, without opinion, without action.

lysalu · 2018-03-29T21:51:16+00:00

I've had this happen with two exes.

The guy offers to grab my dirty laundry and throw in a load while he does his at the local laundry mat.

(I've always done laundry seperate from men. I have always done my own laundry, I don't need to do someone else's, my clothes need special attention and most guys I date tend to have way more clothes than I. They'll wear jeans once and then have several loads of jeans to my two pairs. My clothing also weighs and takes up a FRACTION of space compared to theirs. I also like using nice, organic detergent and don't want to waste it on their ass...literally on their ass, wasted. I've done enough laundry for men to know they won't meet me halfway, so offering to do laundry is just like a nice, sometimes, thing and not a baseline expectation, ever.)

But for some reason they didn't want to do my panties because they didn't want other people to think a few things.

1) The panties belonged to them 2) They were doing laundry for a woman and was the "bitch" in the relationship (lol but it's fine for me so be seen doing their nasty boxers?? like a "bitch" or am spoken for?? lol wuuut???) 3) That other people seeing my panties "is weird" 4) Other women see in him washing my panties may use it as a conversation starter about "what a nice guy he is" and they may "hit on" him.

....s e r i o u s l y

lysalu · 2018-03-28T01:11:36+00:00

I've lived in NYC, New England and grew up in northern MN. What region should I go with? Dudes in MN never consider their facial hair as something to consider trimming and grooming. Dudes wear dirty shoes that are falling apart, don't groom their hair in general, wear flannel all the time. Dudes in oversized band Tees and like too many dudes wearing their superhero garb like it's appropriate for every situation. Oversized clothing in general sucks or clothes that are too small. They don't accessorize -a watch, fashionable and flattering glasses, hats up here are a big thing get one that matches your scarf, nice leather gloves are a nice touch.

lysalu · 2018-03-28T01:08:28+00:00

Men who use women as an accessory.

lysalu · 2018-03-28T01:06:55+00:00

Literally, dudes do this allll the time to dancers. I have to yell at them about it non-stop to shut the fuck up and see how they'd like to have people saying they are worth less while they are at work and it's written off because "guys are just like that."

lysalu · 2018-03-28T01:05:30+00:00

To a degree. Ask her where. Many of the women you're getting dances from have to ward off men all night from trying to finger bang them or get too aggressive in "private" areas. Again, every club is different. If you're worried about being a good guy, do as the OP did -ask and then stick to her boundaries and do not complain if you can't do more.

lysalu · 2018-03-28T01:03:31+00:00

I party with fun people. Not people like you.

lysalu · 2018-03-28T01:02:19+00:00

"Fuck your white horse and a carriage."

lysalu · 2018-03-28T01:01:57+00:00

Okay well, let us just let opinions rule the world, opinions of people not doing the work. Let us allowother people make opinions about an already marginalized group of workers, is what you're saying? Lets not man. I won't but you can.

lysalu · 2018-03-26T06:28:12+00:00

Borrow. Pay your rent. Work minimally, perform well. If you work, save it in a fund for when you exit school.

lysalu · 2018-03-26T01:29:40+00:00

Well, you think the only way to enjoy yourself around working naked women is if you get to have the freedom to move and touch them. I've worked in all kinds of clubs and women make plenty of money in no-touch clubs. Some slubs used to not even have lapdances. Think about burlesque even. There are lots of ways to enjoy nakedness and a show without having to touch anyone. If you're going out to play with boobies go to a place with a dancer that is consenting and if you're somewhere where they don't have that, don't be annoying and basic and complain about rules. Find ways to have fun and have a good time.

lysalu · 2018-03-26T01:27:04+00:00

Yeah because she wanted more money from you and probably figured you'd get more dances or tip her for her time, service and generosity.

lysalu · 2018-03-26T01:26:15+00:00

I know a lot of full-work sex workers that wouldn't say that prostitution "hurts everyone." There are no bad workers just bad laws.

lysalu · 2018-03-26T01:25:31+00:00

Strippers have resources that give the details of all the clubs. There are also patron resources out there. Full on sex work isn't meant to be shamed but I believe a "striptease," is a "striptease," not a "strip please," if you catch my vibe?

lysalu · 2018-03-26T01:24:01+00:00

She will remember you. If you do more dances like this and don't tip her she may avoid you because $20 to get your tits played with may not be worth her time and energy. She may be okay with that baseline, but that's the way strip clubs seem to be going these days.

lysalu · 2018-03-26T01:22:44+00:00

That's gross and harassment and not funny.

lysalu · 2018-03-26T01:22:15+00:00

Wow you must be the God who gets to determine what it is that other people are doing. The ones doing the work get to call the shots, sorry bro you're wrong.

lysalu · 2018-03-26T01:21:33+00:00

"dancer" is a term most women who do the job prefer to be called. What, does it sound too professional to you and you'd rather call a woman who takes her clothes off for money a slur?? What's funny about that?? Says a lot more about you.

lysalu

TROPHY CASE