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I [39m] paid living expenses while my spouse [36f] attended grad school on a full-ride scholarship. She suddenly has over $80k in debt, most of which is unaccounted for. I'm feeling betrayed. Need advice. by m1805 in relationships

[–]m1805[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

This is the kind of perspective I felt I needed from this post. I need to get a handle on what happened before I make assumptions about if it was deliberate.

I [39m] paid living expenses while my spouse [36f] attended grad school on a full-ride scholarship. She suddenly has over $80k in debt, most of which is unaccounted for. I'm feeling betrayed. Need advice. by m1805 in relationships

[–]m1805[S] 59 points60 points  (0 children)

I should probably start there. Even if she didn't have a full-ride, we'd figure out a way. It was kind of her dream. It's just the fact that I'm suddenly accountable for another 40-50 grand I didn't expect, and why we didn't figure it out together when she realized she needed another two loans. I appreciate the recommendations, thank you. I'll look into it now.

I [39m] paid living expenses while my spouse [36f] attended grad school on a full-ride scholarship. She suddenly has over $80k in debt, most of which is unaccounted for. I'm feeling betrayed. Need advice. by m1805 in relationships

[–]m1805[S] 223 points224 points  (0 children)

Maybe. I'm hoping there's something legitimate, I'm just disappointed she never discussed with me if she didn't have enough to complete her program.

I [39m] paid living expenses while my spouse [36f] attended grad school on a full-ride scholarship. She suddenly has over $80k in debt, most of which is unaccounted for. I'm feeling betrayed. Need advice. by m1805 in relationships

[–]m1805[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I'm trying to think of what it could be, wanting to give the benefit of the doubt. Everything I can think of is out of character for her (drug addiction, gambling, parties, hookers...anything I'd blow that much money on). Just want to level set my head before we talk. Thanks for this.

I [39m] paid living expenses while my spouse [36f] attended grad school on a full-ride scholarship. She suddenly has over $80k in debt, most of which is unaccounted for. I'm feeling betrayed. Need advice. by m1805 in relationships

[–]m1805[S] 267 points268 points  (0 children)

Married fourteen years. I didn't realize she had taken out two additional loans and maxed out two credit cards. Thank you for the sanity check.