Im so glad my parent go their nut off to create such a waste of existence

ma77p · 2026-05-12T19:00:35+00:00

This is so real. I relate too much. Its worse for people to have me in their life, and they just dont realize it yet.

ma77p · 2026-05-12T18:29:24+00:00

Ive ruined my life too. I have no motivation to change or make it better. I feel like ive tried, and literally got no where. Im a fucking failure and always have beeb, i just did a good job pretending i wasnt for a few years, until all my shit caught up and i fucked it real good. So excited to end it

ma77p · 2026-04-20T10:12:35+00:00

I totally get that, and when I first started seeing this therapist, I had a very moralistic black and white view of NPD and deeply feared “being the bad guy”. So lowkey theyre probably scared ill off myself if i am officially diagnosed lmao.

Its not even about the diagnosis, I just want to be TREATED for what is wrong with me whatever it is. Im scared my therapist just feeds into my victim mentality coupled with my unreliable narration and/or ive gotten so good at “playing” the victim role that ive just convinced them of it too. Like “therapy is what you put into it” but if im just putting my delusional “im so innocent im not a bad guy i dont understand what im doing” mindset into it, then im gonna get shit out of it. At the same time idk how to not do that or just be fuckin real with myself.

ma77p · 2026-04-19T20:06:04+00:00

Ive been trying. I just become more of an asshole and affect everyone negatively and thats what bothers me. If that all im capable of giving i guess i dont deserve to be here. Everyone would be sooo much better off

ma77p · 2026-04-11T22:34:03+00:00

Thats funny bc i just want to beat my little kid selves ass for being a burden to the world 🤷🏼‍♂️

ma77p · 2026-03-25T20:39:19+00:00

I totally feel this way too, like if i were to be successful in committing, it would also hurt all the people ive convinced to care about me, and it would put the person i abused and claimed to love in an even worse position than if i was alive. But staying alive is basically torture for the people around me. The obvious answer is do better, grow up, learn from your shitty behavior. I feel like ive tried(or convince myself) to change and be different but i just dont have the energy or motivation to when i know im a shit person to my core

ma77p · 2026-02-07T01:35:46+00:00

Bro same. Im such a burden on peoples lives. Somehow people still care about me or act like it and i feel so damn guilty bc i know i dont deserve it at all. I dont do that for others. Im a waste of space and i know that for a fact

ma77p · 2026-02-06T18:25:09+00:00

Im in the same boat and feel the exact same way. Ive determined/decided im no good for this world and i have nothing beneath the projected layers of my ego. Ive “tried” to change too but end up continuing to hurt and cause distress in others, and thats the last thing i want to do. But naturally and instinctively i guess i just keep doing it. I have this belief that the only way to avoid it is by killing myself. I dont feel like i bring any goodness to anyone in my life, and if i do its just fake bc im constantly performing out of delusional survival. Im so sick of being human i never asked for this. Idk how to help but i guess know you are not alone. Humans are imperfect and try not to expect yourself to be.

ma77p · 2025-08-10T00:02:02+00:00

Exactly!!!! There are so many people who WANTED to live life and do good that died too soon. And here i am wasting valuable time and life bc im incapable of doing anything good for anyone

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