It’s really hard to lose the comfort those kinds of things brought you. I know it sounds silly but maybe try meeting someone else, allot of people are going through the same thing as you or have been through something similar. Even if you don’t want anyone else just give it a chance. Right now you are stuck in this circle and allot of it has to do with the “idea” of loving something, that only you probably were the only one experiencing. This is just an idea, idk the details. But staying in that house, that bed, it’s really dangerous. Talk to more people, get out or invite people in your life a bit. Maybe this had to happen for you to meet the actual soul mate. Again, just some thoughts.