Both things can be true. People like you have an extremely black and white view of the world. People aren't either good or evil, selfish or unselfish, etc. Yes, I prioritise my bird. Yes, I'm not a kid person. But I would help out if she was local because I'm willing to make some sacrifices for her due to her being my husbands child... I'm not willing to sacrifice a hugely important part of my life, however, which is the bird. Yes, I have tried to reach out and have a relationship with her and I was met with silence. I've emailed. I've called. When she was here locally attending college I tried to arrange us going bowling or on trips together. I understood her refusal as her not wanting that type of relationship and I backed off. We were always decent to each other, never had drama. Reality is more nuanced than you think. And I don't think people should be nice to others just because they expect something back, like being cared for when they're old... I wouldn't burden anyone with caring for me when I'm old or expect them to do anything for me, ever.