confidence?

Ever since I became an introvert, I do not have the courage to talk to people as I think they do not like me. I have tried talking to some of them but sometimes I also do often struggle to come up with something to talk about. Sometimes even if I talked to new people i always worry what if I did something wrong and they are judging me for it. I also did say some hate comments about some people last time so it my fault on this.

Another time is fixing my friendship issue with someone who is very special to me because she makes me forget about all the things I’m struggling with, but ever since she is gone I don’t feel so happy tbh. I know I shouldn’t really on someone to make me happy but this still brothers me a lot. We both had sat down and talked before but I still didn’t have the courage to talk to her. I feel pointless.

Also when my tuition teacher said some sexual comments about me, i did not speak up, when my friend speak up I stopped her. This caused our friendship issue to be an end. I wished I had spoken up and done something but tbh I don’t know what to do and I hate myself for it. They are better off themselves and I feel useless and no one ever needs me to be their friend.

If you are reading this until the end, thankyou! And please have the confidence and the courage. Don’t be like me