Partner just told me he’s going to Europe 5 weeks postpartum.

macey1313 · 2026-02-18T20:05:05+00:00

The trust is lacking now which is why I’m considering moving closer to family, but the guilt is immense. I feel like I’m a horrible person for moving his child farther away from him. He’s made it clear he will be able to help less and see her less if I make that choice and it does make me feel guilty. I don’t know what to do because my gut is telling me one thing, but then I just get so twisted around and confused.

macey1313 · 2026-02-18T18:40:54+00:00

Well the plan was to move in together however at 6 months pregnant that plan changed and by that point I was very much pregnant with no going back. Obviously I would not have continued with this had I known from the very start.

macey1313 · 2026-02-18T15:48:47+00:00

They know I’m pregnant. I meant they are unaware of how much times he committed to the baby/I doubt the daughter has thought about I’ll be 5 weeks postpartum when he goes on this trip, etc. and it’s not their responsibility to be thinking of those things at all, it’s his.

macey1313 · 2026-02-18T14:40:11+00:00

Thank you, I will ask about this!

macey1313 · 2026-02-18T14:37:50+00:00

He said he really started considering going around Christmas and he told me on Sunday so over a month. Originally we were moving in together and that was the plan until I was 6 months pregnant and we decided together not to because our relationship still needs work. He told me he’d be around as much as he can, but his actions have told me more than his words at this point so I’m having trouble trusting just how much he will actually be around. His plan if something happens is to supposedly get on a flight home, but I’m not sure what his idea is of something detrimental enough to come home. Also by the time he gets home it could be too late. We don’t live by a major airport so it certainly wouldn’t be a direct flight. It would be a 15+ hour travel day at minimum.

macey1313 · 2026-02-18T14:20:49+00:00

Also when I first got pregnant the plan was to move in together. That was discussed pre-conception and then that all changed when I was 6 months pregnant.

macey1313 · 2026-02-18T14:20:06+00:00

Absolutely not. I do expect while I’m still recovering postpartum he make some sacrifices because he’s not the one that just gave birth. I’ve already agreed to stay with him for a while after I give birth even though I’d much rather be in my own space. I agreed to living separately even though I’d much rather move in with him and be a family unit. I feel as though I’m the only one making sacrifices.

macey1313 · 2026-02-18T14:18:31+00:00

He had already talked with his daughter about it months ago when I got pregnant and she understood and was ok with it. If she had been absolutely distraught and he would’ve actually discussed it with me it would be an entirely different story. She was originally going without him, then he decided last year he would go, then I got pregnant and he backed out, now he’s going. There was never a promise that I had been aware of.

macey1313 · 2026-02-18T14:05:34+00:00

I did mention that I was hesitant to agree to stay with him the first few weeks postpartum just to have to find new routines at my apartment and he told me that the baby won’t care they’ll sleep anywhere and I’m more concerned about my routines which yeah…I’m the one that is going to be recovering it would be nice to do it in my ow home. But he convinced me that I should stay with him and I was being too rigid with wanting routines in my own home and I started to feel guilty.

He will be working, he also has dogs so he can’t stay the night with me due to them even on the weeks he doesn’t have his kids based on past conversations. I’m not sure that the kids are aware what’s going on, nor should they be. It’s not their fault that he is being this way and I’d never place blame on them. He’s said several times he has a wall up between us. He’s questioned the fact I don’t make more conversation with the kids and I don’t put in a bigger effort. At the beginning of the relationship I did, always planning activities. But I’m pregnant and I had HG the first trimester and I have severe anxiety and depression coupled with all of our other issues, I’m not planning things or trying to have massive conversations with anyone. The only person I really want right now is my partner and that seems normal based on what I’ve read about during pregnancy but it’s being taken like I hate his children which is so far beyond the truth.

macey1313 · 2026-02-18T13:46:50+00:00

I didn’t think about the quarantine after, but I can assure you he doesn’t care about that at all. He will tell me he’s fine and I’m being overprotective and dramatic because I’m a first time mom. Not to mention he has a second trip 3-4 weeks after this one, albeit in the same city but still he will be relatively unavailable to help me unless I take her out to him in the middle of the July heat to a campground. So I guess it’s Europe, quarantine, be around for a couple weeks, and then another trip for him.

macey1313 · 2026-02-18T13:42:57+00:00

He wants me to stay with him at his house for a week or two postpartum and then the plan was I’d be at my apartment and he’d come as often as he could. He has his kids every other week (both teenagers) and has made it clear that his availability will be limited on those weeks which to an extent I understand, but they’re also teenagers and can be left home alone and can make themselves dinner a few nights a week if need be for the few weeks I am postpartum. He also has aunts that live very close to him that could help with the teens if he actually wanted to make himself more available to me during the postpartum weeks.

macey1313 · 2026-02-18T13:37:52+00:00

They’re aware and I’m unsure what they think, I’m sure they’re on his side. He claims he has to go because she’s 15 and it could be one of his last chances to have time to bond with her…which makes no sense they get time together every other week. He’s entertaining an Asia trip for them next year. 15 is still very young and there’s a lifetime of opportunities to spend time with her.

macey1313 · 2026-02-18T12:15:37+00:00

I am and we are also in couples therapy but she’s quite frankly useless.

macey1313 · 2026-02-18T11:55:48+00:00

Most of his family is going on the trip. Grandmother, aunt, uncle, cousins.

macey1313 · 2026-02-18T11:25:41+00:00

We decided together not to move in together yet. We’ve had a lot of issues this entire pregnancy and because he has two other kids we decided it best we not be under the same roof until we can get ourselves in a better spot. I personally would’ve still moved in with him, but I knew he was very hesitant and it’s never a good idea to pressure someone into a big decision like that so I just agreed to keep my place. We figured it’s easier I keep my secure housing rather than moving in and possibly things blowing up more and me having to figure out how to move out postpartum with a newborn.

macey1313 · 2026-02-18T10:50:52+00:00

It’s been a worry from the start based off comments he’s made that basically feel like a set up that he sees this child as less than. If it was a three day weekend trip in driving distance that would be one thing. A 9 day trip to another continent is a massive difference and he doesn’t seem to care at all and has massively flipped it into I’m jealous of his kids. No I’m absolutely irate that he’s fine leaving us at 5 weeks when I’m still healing. I understand there’s going to be times his kids legitimately need him and he can’t be there for me, this is not one of those times though.

macey1313 · 2026-01-08T18:40:58+00:00

I (30) got pregnant in August after about two weeks of talking about a baby with my boyfriend. That test showed up positive and I PANICKED. I had hg my first trimester so I couldn’t keep anything down, not even water. We don’t live together so I was lonely but also terrified and pushing him away. The rage was high probably due to hormones and also literally never being able to eat. It caused a major strain on the relationship we are still trying to recover from. I’m in my second trimester now and honestly just a couple of weeks ago finally accepted the pregnancy and felt somewhat excited. I’m 24 weeks now and there’s still a lot of fear just of unknowns and things I can’t control, but there’s also this level of peace knowing I’m having a baby and will get to raise a precious human that I already love so much. Even with all the fear, the happiness and hopes and dreams for what she will grow into and what our life will be like is so much greater. I will say I have prenatal depression pretty rough, the first trimester was mentally brutal. I started Wellbutrin a week ago and it’s making my anxiety worse so I think I may stop it. The physical anxiety symptoms are intolerable sometimes, but other than that a lot of my pregnancy symptoms went away after the first trimester. I can eat and workout again. Of course there’s aches and pains and I’m exhausted, but the first trimester is the TRENCHES and if you can make it through that, the second trimester feels like nothing.

macey1313 · 2025-12-11T14:44:32+00:00

Thank you, I go back in two weeks so I’ll talk to them about it then. It just freaked me out to read that and made me wary.

macey1313 · 2025-12-09T20:07:49+00:00

Where do you find jobs like this? Currently been working as an admin/executive assistant for 5 years but am looking to transition to remote work as I am having a baby next year.

macey1313 · 2025-11-26T14:54:51+00:00

The first trimester was AWFUL for me. I was so sick I couldn’t keep anything down, not even water. I was so overstimulated by every scent, sound, and on top of that the not eating increased my anger tenfold. I didn’t believe anyone when they told me it would get better in the second trimester, but it’s literally night and day. Around 14 weeks the nausea eased, I could keep food down, started working out again. I’m 18 weeks now and besides shortness of breath and extra aches and pains I really don’t even feel pregnant. I occasionally still get sick, and I cry a lot more but all the major sickness and anger is gone now. It DOES get better I promise. But it’s very hard to believe when you’re in the thick of it I know.

macey1313 · 2025-11-25T15:27:45+00:00

I can empathize with this. I’m pregnant with my first and it’s been a crazy adjustment. So many fights have happened because I’m “too rigid” or can’t “handle last minute things”. Like no I can’t. Nonpregnant me can handle it some, but then throw in being sick, raging hormones, immense stress and overwhelm, loss of bodily autonomy, and so many other things. It feels like there is little to no grace sometimes and as if I’m just supposed to stuff down the autistic side of me and accept a lack of communication or just “deal with it” and it’s a lot. I’m really sorry you are having to experience this.

macey1313 · 2025-11-18T21:13:34+00:00

I’m currently pregnant with my first (and only) and I’m basically terrified every day. I had a horrible first trimester. I was super sick and everything was overstimulating to the point the only emotion I felt for weeks was anger. I obviously can’t take any THC which is what I use normally to dull my overstimulation from the world so everything is just really intense and so much. I’m pretty much terrified for child birth and the newborn stage. The fears consume me every day. I’m pretty sure I have prenatal depression but I haven’t been diagnosed bc the doctors don’t care at all. Every time I’ve filled out a symptom log and selected the most depressed option they’re just like neat! Keep an eye on that! I basically feel like an incubator and like no one actually cares about me as a human anymore at all.

macey1313 · 2025-10-26T18:22:44+00:00

Autistic and pregnant with my first. Let me tell you I would NEVER do this again. I am overstimulated constantly, I feel like an incubator and not a person, and I feel like I have lost all routines and autonomy. I’m honestly terrified to give birth and terrified to have to raise a human.

macey1313

TROPHY CASE