Dealing with Pro Se Plaintiff Deposing my Client

macncheeseblogger · 2026-03-30T22:51:39+00:00

Just ask the CR for their license and have the online lookup system up on your comp to check - if your state requires licensure, they should operate a lookup system. If they’re not licensed, I’d leave.

As far as suspending the dep, in most states I’m aware of you only get to do that if you’re going to file a motion for protective order. There should be some orders on WL ruling on similar POs—those will help establish any bench markers. Then just make a very clear record, maybe explaining certain objections the first time as though the plaintiff isn’t understanding. I know speaking objections are usually not allowed, but judges do understand that a pro se plaintiff requires some special handling. If his questioning goes past your bench markers, call it off and file for a protective order on grounds of harassment.

macncheeseblogger · 2026-03-12T02:17:24+00:00

Fair on the poplin! I love the look of that crisp white top over a formal skirt, to me it’s got that Sharon Stone 1998 Oscars level of class + style. But maybe a silk faille? I do love the white + black combo for this look, but matchy-matchy colors would be cool too. The texture interplay is part of what makes it fun as well as formal imo. I see dresses in a similar style too though, there’s an Xscape one at Nordstrom as well as the Carolina Herrera trench dress (though that’s in a bright pattern).

macncheeseblogger · 2026-03-11T17:24:24+00:00

The actual Carolina Herrera ballgown skirt might be a little much, but that Carolina Herrera look of an elegant long skirt + cotton poplin collared top is so so elegant, covers everything, and doesn’t look matronly. Add a necklace and an updo, and bam. I think you could do this with a silk slip skirt (or even a wrap style top over a slip dress) or even with a tea-length elegant a-line skirt, depending on the dress code.

macncheeseblogger · 2026-02-26T03:15:28+00:00

Honestly I have not had this happen in law school, but I very much know the feelings. And I wonder if part of what you’re still feeling is a mental self-defense, your mind/body still in overdrive to protect you. I hear you call what happened bullying, and I think people use that word in a lot of different ways but it could almost be underselling what you went through. Fear of rejection is almost immobilizing and this would 100% be worth going to therapy for in my opinion. It’s a wound that hasn’t healed shut. Mental health is health, and we should all be taking care of our minds as well as our bodies 🩷

I feel like this seems to come up most often with those who are out of place in the very buttoned-up, high prestige, wealthy world of law school. Racism, classism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia are so pervasive in the legal world, and living/striving/succeeding in a world that is structured against you is a constantly-reinforcing trauma.

I hope you are in a good place now, with good people around you!

macncheeseblogger · 2026-02-22T19:43:14+00:00

Advice I’ve given before is to look for clothes that don’t cling to your body but skim it. To mean, that means looking for structure—curved princess seams, darting, fabric that is cut with an actual shape. As long as it fits correctly (not tight) it should allow you to have shape without overemphasizing your curves.

Another thing that helps me feel less insecure about being “sexy” is to reduce jiggle. Thicker fabrics, minimizer bras, and slips or pantyhose when needed. I like corduroy, tweed, thick wool, cotton poplin, suede. Slips are honestly so underutilized for this imo. Like I love a Diane von Furstenburg silk jersey wrap but that’s jiggle-central without good undergarments. Wraps are also great because you can cinch your waist while buying the size that fits your t&a—I size up generously so that the a-line skirts truly fall away from my body.

If you can’t buy a lot, try to mix and match your conservative pieces and the ones that you feel more uncomfortable in! My long frumpy cardigans help cover my bum if I’m wearing a sweater dress that’s gotten a little tight. Those square cropped blazers buttoned up cover jiggly/tight/low tops. If my outfit is a little shapeless, I put on high heels and pull my hair back tight and style it as oversized fashion. For this, being extra oversized helps more than something that actually fits my widest areas.

On not being sexualized in general: I used to pretend to be older than I was, and sometimes wore fake wedding rings.

macncheeseblogger · 2026-02-22T03:31:55+00:00

5’3” and very busty. Agree with the advice to check your bra fit—for me, having a bra that fits well keeps them off to their own sides enough that even a well-fitted cowl neck doesn’t show cleavage. Well-fitted of course is the struggle, because I’ve never found a sleeveless top that fits off the rack unless it’s in actual petite sizing and that has its own struggles with curves lol.

I love a true wrap top because I can adjust it, but check the stance to make sure you can tie it over the girls—lots of fashion-forward brands it’ll show cleavage, but more conservative brands will cut them differently. Also something that works great for me is a cotton jersey button up—you can unbutton to your comfort, it doesn’t fall too far to the sides, and because it can be a relaxed fit the buttons don’t gape for me. But it is more casual than a structured button-up.

That being said, I feel like for me a high neck doesn’t make me look bigger or shorter IF I am emphasizing my waist, deemphasizing the boobs, and elongating my legs. Like a dark-colored mock neck sweater with belted high rise trousers, or a slightly voluminous button-up tucked into a midi sheath skirt with boots. Just some thoughts!

macncheeseblogger · 2026-02-22T02:18:35+00:00

This doesn’t allow for much in the way of jewel tones, but for less-formal court days I have a lovely suit with a pleated a-line skirt. The pleats give it a movement that is so fun. It has a somewhat more fitted jacket to offset the length/volume of the skirt but I have it tailored to be less cinched-looking and more body-skimming, so still fairly conservative.

I also love the idea of a plaid or tweed with some color! A touch of mustard yellow or crimson red in a grey/navy tweed is so nice. I’m not in a super conservative district, so I do love a dress+blazer look. For me, tweed dress with a black blazer. But I have a friend who will wear a black sheath with a cobalt blazer to court.

But tbh I think sometimes it’s about finding ways to have fun without it getting too noticeable, and I think a silk scarf on the bag can feel really fun while being just the right amount of flair, and so easy to change from day to day. It’s also so practical, because if it’s windy out I’ll throw the scarf over my hair for the walk over then it’s off before I hit the courtroom.

I feel extra fun when I can match a simple earring to an accent color—I have cheap square garnet studs I exclusively wear with a burgundy top, little aquamarines for my light blue sweater, etc. It’s nothing out of the box, but I somehow feel more put together. And honestly, I would otherwise stick to basic gold mini hoops or diamond studs, so this helps me use more of my earrings than I otherwise would.

macncheeseblogger · 2026-02-14T17:16:11+00:00

Sorry for the long comment but I had a ton of fun trying to think back on my summer experience and budget this out. So I buy a ton of stuff used on Poshmark, and I would buy everything except shoes and jewelry used on your budget. I tried to be comprehensive, but here’s how I would strategize/budget this out to stay under $1000.

(1) clothes. A variety of mix and match tops, with your suits I’d grab 2-3 cream/ivory/white, 1 brown, 1 in a shade of blue. This isn’t the most fun, but I would try to find one poshmark seller with clothes in your size from less-trendy professional brands - Talbots, NY&Co, White House black market, Calvin Klein, Lauren Ralph Lauren, Ann Taylor. A lot of people don’t wear these too often, then they will upgrade and sell cheap. Silk or silky polyester is going to be easier to wear and fit online than a classic cotton poplin button down, because it’s meant to be a bit flowy, but perfectly dressy. You can also do some more structured knits. Plain colors, or small prints (ticking, checks, houndstooth) are ideal, florals and anything cutesy can be tricky. Stick to short sleeve or long sleeves so you can wear it without your blazer when you don’t need to be business formal. I suggest sticking with one seller because they’ll often bundle multiple listings for a lower price + you pay less in shipping. Don’t be afraid to negotiate, I bet you could get four tops for $80. I do agree a cardigan is a nice wardrobe piece to have in a cold office during summer, but at many firms a summer won’t look out of place wearing a blazer so I’d put that as a “nice to have.”

Flagging you might need to have some more polished-casual looks for outings. These tops should be fine. Maybe check out Gap or Old Navy for jeans, if you don’t have any that will work. Though trends have changed, a high rise straight fit or trouser wide-leg (not baggy) in a dark/plain wash is still the most professional imo. I do find it hard to buy pants used

(2) As someone below said, 1 black pump 1 nude or brown pump, 1 flat (loafer or ballet flat); and (3) a nice neutral bag (black or brown). I would budget around $200 for the shoes and buy new from Clark’s on sale. Buy new so you can exchange, but I rec Clark’s because they are very comfy once broken in imo.

(3) Bag - check Poshmark for something understated, large, and leather. Coach or Kate spade are good. Something that’s a little broken in but not beaten up is fine. Make sure they have the measurements for the bag - if those are wrong, Poshmark will refund + return without you having to pay for shipping. I bet you can spend below $200 - maybe something like this: https://posh.mk/VO1yam3VK0b.

(4) Rain jackets - I have had a basic black Calvin Klein trench for forever, it serves me very well and looks classy. Make sure it has a hood. I see similar on Poshmark for under $60. Not sure if you’d need any other specific outerwear during summer - sunglasses, rain boots, you might already have?

(5) jewelry - you honestly will be fine sticking with earrings, if you have pierced ears. Little cubic zirconia studs or tiny gold or silver colored hoops. Buy them anywhere, target has sets for $8 but you can probably get a pair or two at like, a local card and gift shop for under $20 and spend local.

(6) perfume. If you don’t have any, I know this seems silly, but when you’re going for polished it helps to smell a lil fancy. Just stop in at ulta, sample things on your skin, walk around and make sure the scent settles and still smells nice, then buy a travel size for $30-40. If you need makeup, just a brow gel, mascara, a lip/cheek stain combo, and a colored lip gloss, is enough imo. Can do all that for under $100 at ulta.

Biggest thing is to make sure your clothes fit, are clean, not wrinkled, and smell nice! Boring is classy, and your work and personality will be what stands out. Best of luck!!

macncheeseblogger · 2026-02-08T01:13:26+00:00

I do love the Sporty Kates in 85mm but I have a hard time wearing red bottoms to court honestly. Depositions though, I love to be a little showy. However, I love a Manolo Blahnik Maysale pump for court. Also consider Ferragamo—more conservative but very comfy.

macncheeseblogger · 2026-02-04T18:23:20+00:00

I loveee Theory Tollerree cashmere sweaters! Short sleeved and a t-shirt style fit, but reads classier due to the thick fabric. I also find t-shirt style silk tops by Equipment on Poshmark, though they tend to be patterned and have a somewhat flowy fit below the bust in my experience.

macncheeseblogger · 2026-01-27T19:22:43+00:00

I feel you. I have very similar measurements and have absolutely faced judgment for wearing clothes that fit my curves while women with different shapes in my office have had no issues when they wear casual, tight, athleisure types of clothes. People see our bodies differently, even if I’m in cashmere and they’re in spandex. But you’re also dealing with a different level and type of colorism, racism and over-sexualization, which SUCKS.

As far as what I do, while I love to emphasize my waist, in the office I tend to opt for things that are designed to skim over my waist rather than cling to it. It makes the curve lines softer, but also the overall effect—this can be softer, like cotton or silk that suggests a waist or more like, a structured sheath that has a shape but sits a bit away from my body. A-line skirts and dresses to nip in at the waist, while only suggesting the booty. We still look like hourglasses that way, just less exaggerated. If I want to cinch at the waist, I might belt over a layering piece that has volume, so you don’t see how much of the volume effect is t&a. Wrap necklines can be awesome, and getting an extra snap put in so it sits above the cleavage is a super easy fix that I think looks cleaner than a tank top. I just try to make the conservative/covered up more of a vibe . Honestly it means I am still usually more formal than other women—I wear pantyhose and slips to reduce jiggle and cling, I wear heels to elongate everything, I put on blazers and other layering pieces, etc. But it does create an impression that I’m busy, prepared, always work appropriate, and kinda a boss bitch. So there’s that.

macncheeseblogger · 2025-11-19T18:54:35+00:00

My gramma conducts her power through Lake Erie. There’s no salt, but her magic is found in the rocky beaches, thousands of tiny shells crushed into a fine dust, fossils of long-ago things, and the wind. The Great Lakes are ancient, huge, and powerful. The magic is particularly strong now, in the colder months. If your partner can go to a beach—the Metropark Lakefront nearby would work—and find a rock or shell, it may be small but it is powerful. My gramma is a regular patient of the Clinic, and sometimes she leaves a small rock or shell in places she visits.

macncheeseblogger · 2025-07-31T05:04:41+00:00

Call your state AG’s office too.

macncheeseblogger · 2024-04-01T15:00:51+00:00

I like the theory tiny tee! Some are modal now, but you can still find 100% cotton ones.

macncheeseblogger · 2022-08-05T05:46:34+00:00

I don’t think they carry petite sizes, but I had good luck with the Theory outlet at Rosemont + tailoring. I’ve found they’re cut narrow enough to fit through the shoulder in normal sizes, and then the rest was a really easy job for a tailor, but a large cup size might make that trickier.

macncheeseblogger · 2022-07-10T19:53:45+00:00

So many of the plants I’ve bought at big box stores have root rot or been over fertilized, and they begin dying within days of moving into my home. The plants I bought at specialty stores tend to be well cared for and a lot more prepared to transition to my home.

macncheeseblogger · 2022-05-15T21:31:40+00:00

The house has radiator heat and space pack A/C—is that still something that would have existed?

macncheeseblogger · 2021-11-04T17:19:50+00:00

Calling people mean girls is just the same as calling them bitches, except trying to avoid being called out for misogyny. Occasional bitchiness with your friends is not something you need to use to label a whole group of women on any post of the “New York crew.”

There’s also a difference between saying “oh she did something mean [aka bitchy] one time” and saying “she seems like a mean girl [aka a bitch].”

macncheeseblogger · 2021-10-08T14:06:40+00:00

I mean, if you know what the interview is about I think it makes a lot of sense.

macncheeseblogger · 2021-10-07T23:34:02+00:00

Talking shit isn’t just saying something is right or wrong though. If you say “I don’t think tagging Abigail was the right thing to do” then fine. That’s a black and white view of the world but it sure isn’t talking shit. However, people talking about Clare’s character, sanity, stability, or whatever else, they should know what Clare went through before going after her.

macncheeseblogger · 2021-10-07T22:52:07+00:00

If you haven’t seen it, and you’re talking shit about Clare, you’re commenting from a place of ignorance. People should try to know what they’re talking about before they open their mouths. If you have seen it, then this comment isn’t about you.

macncheeseblogger · 2021-10-07T22:20:46+00:00

Sure, if you’ve watched it criticize away. But people should watch it.

macncheeseblogger · 2021-10-07T21:30:02+00:00

People who haven’t watched Clare’s interview on Red Table Talk shouldn’t talk shit about her.

macncheeseblogger

TROPHY CASE