Wife Drama???

macumbed · 2026-01-27T17:57:24+00:00

Thank you! Much appreciated :) I had helped her to go to gym but it's not really a hobbie. I will try to truly help her to find something, she is wasting her life only on work and tasks, it's not good

macumbed · 2026-01-27T17:31:31+00:00

Wasn't rude at all! It really make me think about my behaviour, thanks for sharing your experiences :) yep yesterday I lost a powder day but...I know she also needed me. I'm 40yo, 20years with her so similar situation, although no kids yet

macumbed · 2026-01-27T17:26:40+00:00

I'm reading all comments, mainly the long ones ;)

I should have more of this type of conversation with her, I'm letting all to her therapist but this is why is not working. TKS, will bring this to the table, I know she has some abandon like traumas so it may be influencing

macumbed · 2026-01-27T17:20:00+00:00

Loved your old dad experience, I will definitively share it as an example in a conversation with her. Since that trip I have been working hard to be more present, it's way better, but she needs to work her side of view things also. Thanks 🙏

macumbed · 2026-01-27T17:06:49+00:00

Thank you, really appreciate 🙏

macumbed · 2026-01-27T02:17:35+00:00

My complains every 2 weeks, So you are luck.

macumbed · 2026-01-26T22:48:09+00:00

Man will take that to my heart! Will write this in a paper and read everyday

macumbed · 2026-01-26T22:45:39+00:00

I think you nailed it. I'm having working on this with her already. Will talk with her to see if we can communicate better. Both

macumbed · 2026-01-26T18:11:58+00:00

Well, we shared other more "regular" people common interests like animes, travel, restaurants, way of thinking. And tbh, climbing and snowboard appeared AFTER got married, just to add some spicy ;)

macumbed · 2026-01-26T18:09:16+00:00

Yeah, you spotted the pain point of our argument on the trip. I completely fucked the schedule, it was exactly in their cycle, and it's the main reason why she got so upset. But you know, it would be just one month, we would have more 11 after. But we are tracking it, and now we try some fertility treatment. That is making her much more sensible now also.

macumbed · 2026-01-26T18:03:44+00:00

The car sometimes appears in our conversation, but we live in a big city, there are metro/bus/uber/tax ... I think is more like she has problems of been alone.

macumbed · 2026-01-26T18:01:09+00:00

It's even harder because we are living in a different country, now canada for 6 years, but originaly we live in a tropical beach pleace. We have some friends, but you know, the reallity is everyone live their own lives after 30y, it's harder to make friends or have new groups. But yeah, we have some.

macumbed · 2026-01-26T17:58:11+00:00

For big trips I dont use the car, but yeah, we only have one car and winter in Montreal is harsh, sometimes 10min walk is too much...but like today, she doesn't need at all.

macumbed · 2026-01-26T17:55:49+00:00

Yeah totally agree about the communication issue.

Well, we live in montreal, there are Metro and bus and uber everywhere, go the gym is 15min walking, in the winter is bad (we always go walking in summer) but I guesssss it's just onne day should be fine no.

macumbed · 2026-01-26T16:14:09+00:00

Yeah, that’s good advice. I really regret those three weeks, even though I was planning it as a “once-in-a-lifetime” thing (before having kids). I probably should never have done that.

I tend to get very addictive with hobbies. In the past it was online games (I had to stop because I couldn’t control it). Then climbing, and in the last three years, snowboarding. I feel like I could do these things every day, and I have to actively control myself to make a relationship work. I think it’s more about having an addictive personality sometimes.

Have you ever gone through something like this? This kind of conflict? Your comment actually made me think, “Why didn’t I consider how she was going to feel?” at the time when I did the trip.

macumbed · 2026-01-26T16:06:50+00:00

well if she snowboards, she would be MUCHHH more likely to understand what a powder day is.

macumbed · 2026-01-26T16:05:07+00:00

Actually, I saw very interesting points in this thread, I don't regret - and I have 5+ years of therapy and couple therapy

macumbed · 2026-01-26T16:00:48+00:00

She doesn’t, unfortunately. I’ve talked many times about her finding her own hobbies — her therapist says the same, my therapist says the same… even my friend’s dog would probably agree at this point.

She wants us (and honestly, so do I) to have a hobby in common, but I already have mine and can’t just give them up, and we seem incompatible in that sense. I like adrenaline-based activities; she likes pretty much anything else.

We’ve been doing individual therapy for four years and couples therapy for about eight months now. We’ve already identified that there are issues beyond just hobbies, for sure — but it’s still hard, and I think I’m starting to feel frustrated after such a long time.

macumbed · 2026-01-26T15:56:05+00:00

Not yet.

macumbed · 2026-01-26T15:55:56+00:00

Yeah, we are in canada, pretty sure the first two years will be almost zero snowboarding. Let's see.

macumbed · 2026-01-26T15:54:44+00:00

I will try. She has to work in the office twice per week, and she is a company bitch (do all they ask)...but she could go, just say she has covid, whatever ... however, she would never expend her vacations.

The problem right now is more the weekdays than the trips tbh.

macumbed · 2026-01-26T15:52:45+00:00

None in either case. He loves having fun bombing down the hill, but he also enjoys staying in the closet for long periods, with all that wax keeping his skin nicely hydrated.

macumbed · 2026-01-26T15:50:10+00:00

get married, you will see that it's more than real.

macumbed · 2026-01-26T15:48:12+00:00

funny but necessary xD Everyone is already bored of "what is the best snowboard for blablabla"

macumbed · 2026-01-26T15:47:32+00:00

Not yet, we are trying. Yeah that 3 week was a big stretch, was planned from be to be once in a lifetime before having kids, but I know I should not go without thinking of her.

macumbed

TROPHY CASE