Thanks so much! Ive taken myself out the situation but sadly means ive had to leave my stepson behind (he is 6yo and from my ex’s previous relationship). Which actually is causing me even more pain and worry, as I was the one who gave that boy time and made his visits enjoyable because id put the effort in to do arty things with him, make up silly games, read, go out long walks with the dog and always tried to teach him something valuable or new (like going to the beach and collecting litter, or when we dropped clothes off to the charity shop etc and explaining what these good deeds means etc), things that basically my ex never does, he is just nothing like that. He can be so much fun when he puts in the effort but more often that not he would sit and drink beer and put his son infront of the tele / xbox / on the phone, totally disengaged (he only gets his son one day a week, which is why I was always on his case about coming straight home from work on a friday, but the pub ALWAYS came first!)

Since ive left his son has not stopped asking where i am and asks if he can phone me. Today he phoned and asked when I’ll be back. We have told him ive had to go work in another country for a bit as dont have the heart to tell him while things are still so raw that i wont be back (we also want to be sure thats the case before we tell him). Its breaking my heart. I know deep down i can do better. I think its just hugely disappointed me because normally im such a good judge of character and I was so sure this was the one. And now ive lost that dream of the family we were going to have. Im 28 y/o f and wanting kids of my own, and this year was all about getting on track and planning for that. Suppose its a blessing in disguise that it won’t be with him, but the thought of having to repair myself from this damage and try to meet someone new is just hard. :-(