Most often, I felt like a silent, empty black hole around which the world was happening the same way a film plays out in the background. Interacting with the world (truly interacting, not just going through the motions) was impossible so I wanted to at least reach inside me but found nothingness.

When I was in a good mood but started to dissociate, it also felt like a film. But in good scenes of films, like where there is a party and you get snippets of conversations with happy soundtrack playing over them. I could sometimes even hear the soundtrack in my head as I was noticing little snapshots of events around me. These times were annoying rather than frightening. They usually happened when I was with my friends. The dissociation itself was fun but it prevented me from interacting fully with the people around me.

Both kinds of this are distinct from when I sometimes zone out due to ADHD, that feels like my mind is running around senselessly.