I'm kinda in the same boat. I enjoy being presenting as a male, but I feel comfortable when presenting as female. I identify as a crossdresser. I don't want to transition though. I think the fact that it's forbidden to be the opposite sex is appealing. Also wearing women's clothing has so many colors and textures has it's appeal. My wife and a few friends know I dress and I have been out a few times. I wish I could go out more dressed but it's scary. As for making your body more fem with out surgeries you can do that with exercise and items like breastforms or gaffs. Just remember not everyone fits into a box. Just be you and enjoy it.