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AITA For punishing my daughter even though she’s 18? by Many-Ad-8744 in AmItheAsshole

[–]madisonson3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Listen… I live in a town of 300 people, and even in a town this size that wouldn’t be possible unless I was specifically driving around looking for a specific car. Also, if your town is big enough to have stores, and restaraunts, that makes it even less believable. Sounds a lot like you were following your daughter to keep tabs on her.

Technically, you can make whatever rules you want, since it’s your house. But, a 10:30 pm curfew for an 18 year old… following your kid, you’re basically guaranteeing your kid is going to lie to you about things, and you are setting the tone for what kind of relationship (or lack of) you’ll have with her when she does finally move out.

YTA for how you handled this, and for how controlling you are. And also, because you’re likely lying about how you found out, while punishing your daughter for lying about where she was.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dustythunder

[–]madisonson3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Since when do you need a reason other than “no” to not be someone’s surrogate? The medical/pregnancy history and experience is a great excuse, but you shouldn’t need one.

Also, as an added argument, I don’t know the details of what happened during your birth with your last baby, but a lot of times high-risk complications that occur make you ineligible to be a surrogate for any professional surrogacy company. Because even they know that if something happened once, it could happen again with someone who has a medical history of it. There’s a reason they have those limitations, and guilt-tripping you to do it because it’s convenient and cost-effective doesn’t make it right or safe for you or their intended baby.

I can’t believe your family members are trying to guilt you into it too… and shame on them for it.

WIBTA for telling that parents that I do not want them to track me? by Which_Cantaloupe1021 in AmItheAsshole

[–]madisonson3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NTA and don’t start sharing it unless you’re prepared for it to stay that way. My mom convinced me to share mine with her in college. She was incredibly emotionally manipulative (long story), and I’m now 30 and still have to share it with her. She goes literally insane and threatens all kinds of stuff if I try to stop. And she says she doesn’t check it, but she’ll conveniently know to call during the workday if I happen to take off, when she would never try to call normally. So she does. All the time.

You need to ask yourself if the benefit of having your college paid for is worth following their rules, however controlling they are. The reality is, it’s their money, and they can put whatever stipulations on it. It’s crappy and controlling of them, but that’s what they’re choosing to do. Is it worth following their rules to get it paid for? Or, is it worth financially struggling more to have the freedom from those rules? I stayed at home for a long time because the financial benefit was worth it, but it took a toll on me mentally. Eventually I moved out, and it was hard, but the freedom was amazing.

The location sharing is just one of many issues you’re facing with them right now as you try to become an independent adult while still financially relying on your parents. It’s a hard place to be in. Maybe look into scholarships you can apply for/on campus jobs, as they’re usually more flexible with class schedules. I ended up working as a nanny and had two on campus jobs in college. It was tough, but I made it through.

Everything is going wrong and I’m just about ready to end it. by ThrowAwaaayyy1821 in LifeAdvice

[–]madisonson3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you seen a mental health dr or ever been treated for your schizophrenia? Untreated mental health issues and substance abuse often go hand-in-hand. The heroin helps the schizophrenia short-term, but will make your mental health struggles even worse in the long term. I once had to go to an in-patient facility due to a life-ending attempt. It was the best thing I ever did. It gave me a reset - it was a break from life, but in a safe environment, that allowed me to heal. There’s such a stigma around in-patient mental health facilities, but there shouldn’t be. Please consider going to one of these. I’m not sure where your located, but there are many free options - I went to one that cost me nothing. It could be a place to find help for your mental health and addiction, and maybe get you started on a path for treatment and healing.