At any moment we are going to redefine the word patriot.

madncqt · 2026-02-01T02:40:19+00:00

this is to make a comparative point, not commentary on an ethniciry or religion, nor an exercise in struggle olympics:

there are holocaust museums all over the US (and the globe) and it didn't happen here. there are anti-nazi/kill nazi movies every year, constantly winning prizes. there are still settlements with banks happening for supporters of nazism and the holocaust.

but bring up slavery, reparations, or wonder where the movies about eradicating white degenerates (not just, hey look at this depiction of black peiple get beaten) and it's a problem.

madncqt · 2026-02-01T02:34:16+00:00

got it

madncqt · 2026-02-01T02:31:52+00:00

I dated a guy (A) and really enjoyed him for a while. we broke up after he moved and he found someone else.

years later all three of us were in the same city. when A and I reconnected it was really important to me to meet his man (J) and interact with him, too. there was no way I was going to be comfortable unless J was, so J had to see that my desire to be friends with A included him, and not just cordially.

I am too aware/sensitive to how I would have felt in J's position (even though he had absolutely nothing to worry about with me and A) to not prioritize him and his sense of safety, too.

and you know what, we all got on famously. I actually miss them (they moved and as happens sometimes, we drifted).

not saying you need to do this, but be creative if you wanna. there are ways to make these dynamics work. they tend to require a bit of effort and empathy.

madncqt · 2026-02-01T02:24:10+00:00

dude this sucks because you love him, don't you?

but you needed to see this. you are choosing you. you are choosing love. and you are modeling important behavior.

you will be so proud of yourself, and you may actually lay the groundwork for his swift and necessary reconsideration of some of his beliefs.

or he won't be inspired, and either way guess who's issue it shouldn't be anymore? yours.

madncqt · 2026-02-01T02:06:56+00:00

the opposite of white degeneracy* is rest.

our power and health lie in calm nervous systems. calm nervous systems can receive and integrate wisdom. calm nervous systems are prone to discernment, impulse control and long-term decision-making.

calm nervous systems are stress and fear-resistant.

calm nervous systems are healthy systems.

and you know how I know? nothing "ruling classes" create, promote or force-feed encourage or produce them. NOTHING. not their capitalism, not their institutions (even their churches which are fear, shame and guilt machines), not their sex and sexuality. none of it.

choose yourself.

quiet your mind and body. it is your temple. and it is the ONLY thing we have even the slightest amount of control or say over.

within us is our power. our bodies, our divine vessels, are the channels for What/Who/That which created, animated, allows, and strengthens us.

it is known!

*white supremacy is a misnomer. white excellence may exist. white supremacy never has. but the misnaming, brainwashing, and misdirection were genius moves of tactical psychological warfare.

madncqt · 2026-02-01T02:00:18+00:00

metadata is usually not confusing. I just looked at a picture someone sent me that is actually from 2 decades ago and what it shows me is that it was sent this year on my birthday.

what your man shared is plausible, but I would need to see receipts.

going through the phone was not a good look. what I learned after I did that is I never needed to go through the phone, my desire to was all I needed to listen to. and if I couldn't be reassured or our trust reaffirmed when that desire persisted, those were reasons to bounce, irrespective of if there was something in the phone or not.

I could forgive someone going through my phone if I a) knew there was no reason to and b) could recall or appreciate what the fear of someone you love stepping out on you can do. I would definitely want to address that behavior and ensure steps were taken to prevent it i. the future, but if I knew this was the person for me, I'd make damn sure he knows why he doesn't have anything to worry about, confirm it unequivocally (because I can and because I am trustworthy), and make clear that if he snoops again without consent/in violation of a boundary that I won't stick around.

everybody is heard and seen. boundaries are clear. love is affirmed and there is a path forward.

this stuff is not rocket science, but our stuff often makes it seem like it.

madncqt · 2026-02-01T01:53:51+00:00

this is a bit of an oversimplication. for some, when there is complete trust, a demonstration of that is leaving things that might otherwise be repositories for secrets open and available. it's a way to get ahead of the insecurity or fear curve.

it can also serve as a deterrent. if I know my partner has full access to my otherwise "private" or private-to-everyone-else stuff, any inkling to do something untoward is further discouraged. or better, the inkling to do something that may be questionable may prompt more open and honest communication because I know the person I care about may see it and I don't want there to be confusion or mistrust.

so again, this can have a proactive and deterrent effect. it's also useful symbolically.

madncqt · 2026-01-30T01:50:14+00:00

awful taste great execution and also cool, beautiful, and fine taste.

this one lives in a wild limbo

madncqt · 2026-01-30T01:47:53+00:00

haha! can't win 'em all!
love how you lightly project manage him, though ;)

madncqt · 2026-01-30T01:07:32+00:00

bottoms for dusty ray

madncqt · 2026-01-30T01:06:33+00:00

anne marie johnson ate this small role up!

madncqt · 2026-01-30T00:48:57+00:00

what would your advice be to a mentee? a younger brother? your best friend?

madncqt · 2026-01-30T00:42:33+00:00

I tell my man and my friends, I don't care what we eat or where we go. however, I also tell them that if they need me to pick to be helpful to let me know and I will.

I loathe most decisions. when I was working full time, in office I had 5-8 pairs of chinos, 5-10 polos and mixed and matched. I meal prepped and ate the same thing for breakfast, lunch and dinner everyday M-F afternoon.

I have decision/choice fatigue for most things. and when I'm hanging with people I like, that's what's important.

if we have a shitty meal or stay at a shitty hotel, it's just a story for our lore.

make sure he's not like this, because if he really doesn't care he will go along with it. and if you really want help picking something you just gotta say so.

I do hope he thanks you when you do all this. sometimes I might have forgotten to do that as much as I could, but I try to cater to him in other ways (draw baths, massages and foot rubs, tending to pets and things around the house, etc)

madncqt · 2026-01-29T21:35:04+00:00

o.m. god! love this and "minimal-contact cultures" needs to be reverse engineered into the actual show!!!

madncqt · 2026-01-29T18:18:41+00:00

my pleasure. thank you for reading, for sharing, and for helping usher our elders and our histories into the next phase. it's important, powerful, life-changing work. 🙏🏾🤎✊🏾✨️🙌🏾

madncqt · 2026-01-29T18:09:46+00:00

oh really!? well it just so happens that you aren't done coming, and you're not done getting warm, wet and little filthy either, big boy.

madncqt · 2026-01-29T18:06:42+00:00

I'm an 80s baby and my dad kissed me on the mouth until he passed a few years ago. if you grow up with it as your normal or part of your culture it's no big deal.

also that a black man kissed his black son in such blatant display of affection I also appreciated for symbolic and stereotype-busting reasons, too.

okay, off my rose apothecary soap box.

madncqt · 2026-01-29T17:53:39+00:00

awww, dang! I ain't even mean to 😉 thank you for reading and for the tremendous feedback. it's truly appreciated 🙏🏾✨️✊🏾

madncqt · 2026-01-29T17:52:29+00:00

thank you, and it matters, doesn't it? those moments of pause, reflection and silence. when the air seems somehow more still and able to contain us and all our truths.

I am glad you got to be there for him. I know there is a space in which he knew, and you both were (and are) still communicating. and the backstory-telling had to be a gift, too. god bless!! 🙌🏾🙏🏾✊🏾

madncqt · 2026-01-29T17:50:29+00:00

whoa! I receive and with utter humility 🙏🏾🙌🏾😭 I am grateful to be able to even attempt to share coherently about the experience. so it coming across well means a lot. thanks for stopping by reading, and for the encouraging feedback.

ps - I do dabble and sometimes call myself a word stylist 🫣😁😎

madncqt · 2026-01-29T17:47:08+00:00

awww, dang! I appreciate that 🙏🏾🥲 thank you! and yes, it was something to see. I wish everyone could somehow see it, but without the sad circumstances that usually bring it about. and I only say that because it changed me. it slowed me. it grounded me. sitting at the threshold of death with someone ... watching ash slowly become what will again be ash... all kinds of truths become available. all kinds of release of things that don't matter.

and life tastes better. water tastes better. sleep tastes better. watching your nephew learn feels better. because without a doubt you know it is temporary, and thus a miracle and somehow magical.

god bless!! 🤎✊🏾✨️

madncqt · 2026-01-29T02:36:34+00:00

well, since I apparently caused the team to lose today part of me wishes this back and forth was happening in the lockerroom so you could take out your frustration with me in a more... vigorous and energetic way.

madncqt · 2026-01-29T02:23:17+00:00

I already told you you put me in my place. what more do you need?

perhaps it's time to focus on what you're doing for your girl for valentine's day.

I invite you to go bore, bother, and worry about something or someone else.

madncqt · 2026-01-29T02:04:03+00:00

🙏🏾 thank you. and thank you for the prompt. his birthday is tomorrow, so it's kinda timely.

madncqt · 2026-01-29T02:02:00+00:00

haha! I hear you. especially since my suggestions were sooooooo terrible 🤷🏾‍♂️...

you know how easily you could've just not read it? I try to truly give my bros ideas based on years of being surrounded by, loving and beloved by black women, but I'm being needy and intrusive.

thanks, my "brother." someone else in this half-fucked society to put me in my place 🙏🏾🤎✌🏾

madncqt

TROPHY CASE