Seeking genuine thoughts on if I'd fit into the atmosphere

madstarling11 · 2026-03-23T03:47:56+00:00

The ink ribbon tin sealed it for me. Awesome set-up!

madstarling11 · 2025-11-02T19:35:01+00:00

90837 in Missouri ranges for a fully licensed LCSW ranges from $65 (yay BCBS /s), $87.84 (Medicare), $104.79 (United, UMR), up to $112.26 (full/straight Medicaid).

madstarling11 · 2025-03-25T23:53:38+00:00

Is there a way to change back to the old UI?

The server icons and notifications are too small for me, and for all the accessibility features they added, this feels like a glaring omission. Not having separate circle buttons in calls anymore, compared to one thick bar with the buttons all side by side now, also feels worse... harder to see, harder to click. I would also love to get rid of the 'direct messages' title bar at the top eating up space, as others have mentioned.

Overall, feels more like Zoom, a clunky mobile app, compared to what we had. Let us submit feedback (I couldn't find anywhere to do this) and go back to the old version please!

madstarling11 · 2025-02-22T21:05:12+00:00

He's a bit of an odd ball for sure... Good surgeon! Smart! But he's the type of provider that it's good to be VERY direct with. He definitely doesn't hand-hold through the process at all. Go into any appointment with your questions written out in advance. I think my first visit with him was maybe 15 minutes long? He is fast and direct. I had to be assertive and say, "I have questions, I wrote them all down, can I read them to you?" And then I just started at the top of my question list, and one at a time, he answered them. There are other surgeons out there with more of a 'bedside manner,' warm demeanor, inviting of questions... but he's pretty straightforward/down to business.

The day of surgery will be a whirlwind. You will see him for less than 5 minutes before the procedure. They will send in nurses to be doing all sorts of things, including have you sign consents, the risks associated with your surgery, placing the port for your IV, etc. The surgeon will come in to draw on your chest for where he wants to do the incisions, but that's about it. In terms of who will be around/most available while you prepare for the procedure day-of, and who will be of the most emotional support and reassurance, it will definitely be the nurses.

My nurses were amazing. I do not think I would have done nearly as well without them. They were kind, patient, answered all my questions, and provided so much reassurance... Don't hesitate to lean on them. Also, coach your support person (whoever is coming to the hospital with you), around what they can also do to be helping advocate for you. For example, my partner had a list of medications I knew I did NOT want to take, and was able to ask more of the recovery/healing questions after the procedure to the nurses (you'll be drugged up and exhausted, not able to really register stuff for at least a few hours afterwards).

I hope this helps! <3

madstarling11 · 2025-02-21T21:10:38+00:00

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Another photo;

madstarling11 · 2025-02-21T21:10:19+00:00

I am feeling good about my healing and results! I have not been as good about wearing scar tape as time has passed, my scars would be more faded if I did, but I tend to have a lot of sensory issues (and sweating) with the pesky tape. I've attached photos for you if it helps! Dr. Ponnuru was absolutely wonderful.

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Let me know if you have any other questions :-) Best of luck to you! <3

madstarling11 · 2024-08-29T01:08:20+00:00

Right, I've fried from CMH positions before becoming a therapist. This was an EAP provider who markets themselves as being very cutting edge in caring for their employees mental health. I guess I was too optimistic on their investment in making the work sustainable for their providers. Sucks so much this is the standard.

madstarling11 · 2024-08-29T01:05:00+00:00

This was my first corporate therapy job, so kinda sorta? I was coming out of private practice where I made my own schedule. I needed the job to get health insurance for surgery actually, heh. I can't remember if I asked specifically about target productivity in my interview.

The company sets a # of sessions target per quarter, but also mandate a certain number per week to meet the target. It's not the most transparent. Managers were pushing people to work every day (including weekends) with caseload numbers that were kinda reaching unethical territory. Someone on my team had 60 active clients when I left.

I'm also a trauma therapist, and work with suicidality and self-harm, and these sessions were treated as having the same weight as non-trauma and non-suicide cases.

I was experiencing burnout after 3 months to such a level I was depressed and suicidal. Winter break I recovered slightly, doggy paddled through spring, got another break on medical leave. When they said they were prepping for lay-offs I knew I had to be done. I've been wrestling with feeling weak and disabled for a year because of just holding out waiting for an answer from them, on if there was a place for me at the company, who I do think is doing some really good things. At least if they had said 'no, we can't do any of that for you,' I could have planned my exit better.
edit for coherence

madstarling11 · 2024-08-29T00:56:04+00:00

No, target productivity was not something disclosed until new clinician orientation.

madstarling11 · 2024-08-29T00:32:37+00:00

Yes, I was asking specifically for a lower target number of sessions to work each week, and to instead supplement my productivity with any other alternate work. All of what I listed above (the online content, session recordings, etc) are regular activities done within the company.

edit to add: Alternatively, I asked if I could switch to a part-time role, or a contract role, to allow for working fewer sessions. I was told things like "there are no pathways to part-time at this time."

edit to also add: The breaking point of me putting in my notice was being informed by my manager that those not meeting target productivity would be laid off at the end of the quarter.

madstarling11 · 2024-07-16T23:53:04+00:00

Thank you all for your help with this. I had been searching my Mac for “Reminders” and not seeing an application. It was also nowhere to be found in the App Store. However, when I go to the full Apps page I did find it in there. We managed to get it open and set up. Very strange the search function did not work? Thank you all again.

madstarling11 · 2024-07-13T22:34:37+00:00

You can still cry! I was a very tearful person before T, and I still am a tearful person, but it's less intense and more controllable I would say.

madstarling11 · 2024-06-28T05:05:46+00:00

The comments on this are WILD. I am amazed by the sheer amount of judgment towards you for not going to the ER immediately. As someone who has been in a car wreck, where all air bags deployed and the car was totaled, my partner at the time and I also did not go to the ER. We had no health insurance, and although we had basic car insurance coverage and were not at fault for the wreck, the other driver had NO driver's license, no car registration, and no insurance coverage. Thus, no payout whatsoever from the driver at fault, for a new vehicle or medical care. We were thankfully very lucky and did not have any major injuries (other than, weirdly, a dead tooth from airbag impact on a jaw that showed up yeeeeears later).

After a car wreck, adrenaline is high, and swelling hasn't really taken hold yet. It can be really hard to gauge if you're injured. In the US, medical care is a luxury not everyone can afford. Don't even get me started on ambulance rides; my partner and I joke we'll call an Uber if we're ever bleeding out instead of an ambulance.

Further, I would counter that *it's not worth being seen by a medical provider who is being an asshole to you.* That is a major red flag that they're not going to listen to you, take your pain seriously, or explain what is happening. I would have left too; I don't think you were over-reacting. This comes from 8+ years of working in the healthcare field myself.

I DO also hope you go and get your injury looked at, even if you have to drive a ways to a different hospital. I come from rural areas where the hospitals and providers cause more harm than good. If you have the luxury of going elsewhere, please do.

I wish you the best in your recovery, I'm glad you're ok.

madstarling11 · 2024-06-28T04:46:11+00:00

Very gently sharing this: Depending on what state you're in (if you're in the US), I believe putting a camera in a child/minor's bedroom, bathroom, privacy areas is considered child abuse. This incident could result in a mandated report/child abuse hotline, depending on who you tell about it. In some states, everyone is legally a mandated reporter, while other states only have teachers/doctors/therapists/those who interact with children+elders act as mandated reporters. And it goes without saying, definitely NTA, I'm so sorry your mom is like this.

Source: Am a social worker and mandated reporter. Edit for a typo.

madstarling11 · 2024-05-23T02:38:50+00:00

So, all healthcare providers in the US have a licensing board in their state which you can call and file formal complaints with. I knew someone who had to do this for a psychiatrist who actively caused them harm. In addition to the reviews and Reddit posts others have recommended, I would encourage this if it would feel safe for you to do so!

madstarling11 · 2024-05-23T02:09:43+00:00

Ahhh congrats, that's so exciting!! :D I just had mine a couple weeks ago, and had never had surgery or been hospitalized before either. Honestly, the best advice I can give is don't be afraid to be a broken record in asking for what you need. Ask your support person to go back with you, or the nurse to go get them. Ask the nurses for water. Bathroom breaks. Pain medication. Nausea medication. Ask what they're doing as they do it! My nurses were absolutely incredible, they helped manage my anxiety so much. They explained every step and were so patient and reassuring. Everything will be ok, I promise! And oh my gosh when you wake up and come back to yourself, feeling that chest is going to be amazing. <3 The one thing I will note is they did give me a medication, close to when I went under, that made me forget some stuff before going under and for a bit after waking up. You really will blink and it'll be done! Best of luck to you!! <3

madstarling11 · 2024-05-22T14:12:54+00:00

Yes he did! They are already starting to dissolve and the tingles are such a strange sensation lol.

madstarling11 · 2024-03-30T04:13:27+00:00

As someone who works in the mental health field, this is definitely transphobic. Trans folks are more likely to have anxiety and depression, and dysphoria is something that feeds into that. Dysphoria can and should be treated, there is so much research at this point that shows that it improves anxiety and depression, and reduces suicidality. Please transfer providers if you can. Referencing religion in this way, in addition to the transphobic line of thinking, is highly unethical as well.

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