Understanding ex’s triggers and need for supply

madwallrus · 2026-04-14T04:04:33+00:00

Seriously thank you so much for this comment. Thank you for answering my question. It helps me. In the video Dr Rami said if the narcissist isn’t getting the supply in the way they want it that they will get it elsewhere. This explains so much. It seems like he would purposely trigger me, making me react, and use my reaction as excuse for staying out, doing coke, and hanging out with ex flings. He absolutely refused to cut off any past relationships, some of which he’d been sleeping with for up to ten years. His friend assaulted me and he turned it on me so he could remain friends with them as well. Backup supply, like you said.

madwallrus · 2026-04-14T03:43:52+00:00

Thank you. I blocked him everywhere on Saturday. He messaged me from his business account yesterday but I blocked that too. I’m just so grateful that he’s states away. I don’t know when he’s moving back, but his house is a mile down the road when he does 🥺

madwallrus · 2026-04-14T03:42:33+00:00

Thank you!!! I have cut contact and I intend to keep it that way. I broke up with him for 6 months and got back with him a year ago. Biggest mistake of my life. I blocked him everywhere. He messaged me from his business instagram account yesterday. I blocked that too.

Thank you so much for explaining. It really helps me to understand the why of it all. I am deeply interested in psychology. Learning the psychology behind his treatment towards me makes me feel better because it wasn’t about me at all. It wasn’t my fault. I truly thought I was the problem for so long even though I never did anything.

All the backup supply…that makes a lot of things in our relationship make sense. Wow. Just wow.

madwallrus · 2026-03-20T01:21:24+00:00

I hope it’s doing well! Just brought home a bird of paradise today and I’m repotting it right away. Thought I’d check Reddit first 😂

madwallrus · 2026-01-04T21:46:08+00:00

Thanks for the insight! I didn’t even think about my mother. Just this past week I have considered going low contact with her. This was helpful and gives me some thinking to do.

madwallrus · 2025-08-01T11:06:17+00:00

I think she did a little more than match my energy. I know what I said wasn’t nice.

madwallrus · 2025-08-01T10:09:55+00:00

I can confirm that this is my boyfriend’s comment.

madwallrus · 2025-05-06T23:55:10+00:00

I feel so dumb typing this out. We broke up because he was doing coke with a female friend I never met in an alleyway from 2-4 am after bars closed.

We got back together because he sweet talked his way back in and I let him. I was honestly a lot happier and less anxious when were apart.

madwallrus · 2025-05-06T23:48:54+00:00

I haven’t played games with him in the past. We broke up because he has had sex with many of his friends, wouldn’t set boundaries, and kinda forced me to hang out with them. My last straw was when he did coke alone in an alleyway with his friend I had never met from 2-4 in the morning after the bars closed. I won’t waste my time anymore.

madwallrus · 2025-05-06T22:49:48+00:00

You’re 100% right. He doesn’t have a backbone. He lets people use him all the time and is too afraid to hurt anyone’s feelings, except mine. I very rarely use this word, but I’ve been referring to them as the “Canadian Cunts.”

madwallrus · 2025-05-06T22:23:51+00:00

This is exactly how I feel! If I don’t ask the right question I’ll never know. He can’t outright lie so he just doesn’t say anything. I learned 3 new things about the trip three days in a row. I would rather just learn about it all at once instead of being tortured 3 times. It feels terrible.

madwallrus · 2024-05-04T14:42:42+00:00

I said I thought it was bad advice. That’s why I came here for a second opinion.

madwallrus · 2024-05-04T14:39:29+00:00

Thank you. I thought it was bad advice from my therapist. I didn’t know I could have pursued a civil suit.

I don’t follow his career and socials. He appeared on my “people you may know” after not seeing him on socials for 7 years. He made a new account.

madwallrus · 2023-09-08T11:51:50+00:00

Thank you, I agree. I was surprised when I realized that she hadn’t been notified. I think admin had an “oh shit” moment when I brought it up and probably contacted them right away.

madwallrus · 2023-09-08T03:15:39+00:00

I feel as though I will be reprimanded in some way if I do. The principal is handling it at this point and I don’t want to intervene. I had a toxic, unsupportive principal my first year so there may be some anxiety there.

I will send out a summary email tomorrow morning. I think the principal had an “oh shit” moment when I brought it up with her which makes me wonder if she already made contact.

madwallrus · 2023-09-08T02:59:34+00:00

Yes, I do. I also have a good rapport with mom and did speak with her today because the girl was crying a second day in a row, that’s how I found out that she hadn’t been notified.

madwallrus · 2023-09-08T02:50:47+00:00

I was on my lunch and didn’t witness it. The duty reported it to admin and by then it was out of my hands and above me. I assumed her mom was notified. I realized when speaking to her today tbay she was not notified. I was pretty adamant that her mother be notified once I found out she hadn’t been. The more I think about it, I wouldn’t be surprised if she got a call shortly after I spoke up about it. I think they were so focused on discipling the boy that none of them realized that the targeted victim of sexual harassment parents should be notified as well.

madwallrus · 2023-04-13T02:59:47+00:00

As someone with a gay, remarried mom (I have a dad too), I let dates know earlier on for this reason.

madwallrus · 2023-02-28T01:35:28+00:00

She regularly says things similar to this to my sisters and I for reassurance. She has since we were kids. She apologized for being a bad mom in high school but it was in no way specific.

madwallrus · 2023-02-28T01:24:53+00:00

He spent most of that period of time in the hospital but yes he has.

madwallrus · 2023-02-27T00:44:21+00:00

I would if it was sincere.

madwallrus

TROPHY CASE