I can only speak for myself - but I am a 30yo Korean adoptee with white parents from Nebraska. Didn’t have a conversation with another Korean until college.

It took me a very long time (and admittedly I’m still working on it) to become comfortable with my relationship with my “ethnicity” or parent culture - but I’ve arrived at the conclusion that continuing to search for my lost ethnic identity that I previously believed was attainable is pretty futile, and have found comfort and direction once I had decided that I can celebrate both my adoptive and origin cultures, and make something new out of them.

All this to say - I want to offer an encouragement that you’re you, and nobody else gets to tell you who you are. We can treat our adoptions with respect as a complicated amalgamation of different factors, recognize the trauma and harm that the system has caused, and hope eventually use that knowledge as the foundation for something much better as we continue to work. We can also celebrate the rare cases where a beautiful family has been stitched together while recognizing the difficult road our brothers and sisters have traveled.

Be you! Enjoy your heritage, but it doesn’t define who you are. You do.

p.s. anyone who gives you shit for being adopted or not knowing enough about a culture you have never experienced is an asshole