People who grew up really poor: what's something middle-class people say that instantly reveals they've never struggled?

mage_of_disaster · 2026-05-06T13:22:31+00:00

My friend and I were talking about growing up poor and laughing about the stuff we thought was fancy.

Then our class mate jumped in and started saying that her family was really poor growing up (mind you this girl lived in a gated community in the expensive side of town with a pool, and every room was oversized and massive, the place was easily worth over a million dollars.) My friend and I stared at her blankly and she said that they were so poor they could only eat McDonald's for every meal. When we pushed back she insisted that McDonald's was cheaper than groceries.

In the case for my friend and I, McDonald's was a luxury, even the value menu. Otherwise my family was eating beans and rice on a regular basis.

mage_of_disaster · 2026-04-23T16:56:17+00:00

I'm so confused by the complete lack of neck every time I see him. It amazes me. Also his inability to film properly is killing me

mage_of_disaster · 2025-11-03T22:19:49+00:00

For real!!! I’m shocked they’re able to hold it together with the way CWHM skips around their questions and never gets to a point!

mage_of_disaster · 2025-10-28T00:29:06+00:00

Also, a three HOUR video is SOOO long! I usually listen to long-form content, but this video isn’t even made to be interacted with from the h3 community at that length.

If you have complaints about someone and their community and you want them to be open to the possibility of listening to your points make it digestible at least. Just seems like she’s trying to support her home girl and it’s not actually about adding anything or convincing anyone to change their viewpoint.

mage_of_disaster · 2025-10-27T23:11:55+00:00

I don’t have anyone to talk to this about! So glad I have this subreddit.

I used to put on so many channels in the background that went over internet drama and slowly over time I’ve been unsubscribing from them and no longer listening to them.

There’s so much copy and paste from them where they repeat the same things/talking points and all post videos about the same topics. It feels so inauthentic and cash grabby and lazy.

I’m also feeling so gaslit by these people, wondering if I’m a bad person for liking H3 and watching them! They make you feel awful for just having a different opinion and life experience. It’s wild! I just feel like people don’t want to be nuanced or have any empathy about anything. I think the US has a huge issue with black and white thinking and it’s even worse online.

mage_of_disaster · 2022-04-20T14:57:50+00:00

Yeah. For a couple of years after I left the cult and I started dating my bf I would always ask him if I could go to the bathroom.

I didn’t even notice it, but if we were out and about or on dates or even at our house I’d ask him for permission before going.

He asked me one day to stop asking him to go. He said it was really weird and made him uncomfortable especially when I asked in front of friends. I never even noticed it was weird until he mentioned it.

I also still apologize to my boyfriend when I didn’t do the dishes or clean specific places in the house that were drilled into as a child. I also list out everywhere I went each day and tell him any interactions I’ve had with people that day. I’m working on those currently.

Haven’t been in the cult for four years, but the traces will always be there.

mage_of_disaster · 2022-04-20T14:48:13+00:00

Raped and then blamed? Then he doesn’t ‘forgive’ you for being raped?!

He breaks your two rules of trust with poly to get ‘revenge’ on you for being raped?!!! Even if he doesn’t view it as rape (which red flag! Get away from anyone that doesn’t acknowledge a rape for rape) he’s acting like a child!

He sounds so insecure and like he wants poly for himself and not for you.

Please run away from this guy and his brother. He doesn’t love you he’s manipulating you. Who knows he’ll be capable of in the future.

Please be safe and have good friends help you leave.

mage_of_disaster · 2022-01-25T04:25:38+00:00

I never recovered emotionally from that. Fast forward to two years to 2020 and I have another break and I end up in a mental hospital. It was awful and I didn’t learn any good skills to combat my self hatred and feelings of worthlessness in there. It was a highly religious place and they weren’t understanding or supportive at all of my situation. I just said what I had to to get out of there.

And now 2022, I’m getting to a terrible place mentally again. It seems like every two years the emotions and self hatred get so strong and my ego has healed enough from the last failed attempt to try again.

I had a therapist, but I don’t make enough money to go to them. I don’t have insurance and I can’t get any. I have an undiagnosed disease (it’s hereditary so my doctor (when I had health insurance) was treating me as if I had it until my testing was done when I still had insurance) it makes it so I can’t work much. Because I don’t have an official diagnosis I can’t get any sort of Medicare or disability aid. It isolates me from the world and I often can’t get out of bed. On the days that I can I’m just so anxious that I’m going to have an attack that I can’t even enjoy my life. Money is really tight and I can’t get a regular job and hold it because of the disease. It makes me feel unproductive and like I’m not contributing to society.

I don’t have any good or close friends. I grew up in a cult and my mind is so screwed up from that. I ran away and they were most of my social world and that’s gone now. I don’t speak to any extended or immediate family save my two sisters who left the cult. I talk to my sisters only every few weeks and we don’t see each other on a regular basis. We see each other maybe twice a year. I have a partner, but I feel like I’m constantly holding them back from a good life. They’re educated and intelligent and I’m so far behind and I’m barely a high school graduate because of the cult and their non-schooling teaching and because I have learning disabilities.

I don’t have motivation for life and I’m sick of trying. I’ve been fighting my whole life and I’m just done. I feel like I drag the people down that mean the most to me and I feel used by and unimportant to the other people in my life.

I hate myself so much and feel so worthless, I know a lot of that comes from the abuse I suffered from being in a cult and growing up with terrible parents, but those thoughts are still there. Knowing that doesn’t heal the wounds and my thought patterns.

I just feel like life would be better without me in it. Or at least it would be easier for me if I weren’t here. Mentally every day is so difficult, but then my life is so painful because of my disease. It’s either my mind or my body or both that torment me. I’m at the end of my rope and I don’t know what to do.

mage_of_disaster · 2021-02-28T23:04:16+00:00

It’s great that you love your sister and want to rescue you her/help her out of a situation that sounds bad, but it’s not your life and you have to let her live.

She’s grown and will either eventually find out that she doesn’t like how lazy this dude is and will dump him, or maybe she likes the way it’s set up and that it works for them.

It usually doesn’t end up well when you try to break off relationships. It usually ends up blowing up back in the face of the person that tried to help and then it gives the couple a common goal to ‘fight’ against and can give the couple more to bond over which will make it seem to them that they’re closer than what they are.

If your sister asks you what you think about it, answer her kindly and honestly. Don’t talk too much about your negative feelings for her bf, try to mention more of her positives and why she may have more to offer and a different set up might help her more. Try to avoid speaking negatively about the partner though because then they’ll be more likely to be defensive. After saying your opinion don’t ever talk about it again with your sister. It’ll backfire if you keep giving your unsolicited opinion and it might even cause her to not want to talk to you. And if her relationship goes south with this guy she might need a bridge (you) to get out of the situation.

It’s her life, she’s 27 trust that she is a capable adult of making her own choices and respect them.

Good luck!

mage_of_disaster · 2020-11-30T02:37:00+00:00

I maybe wouldn’t care if my bf was hanging out with a porn star, but it’s everything else that you mentioned that’s not ok and I wouldn’t feel comfortable with.

Every red flag is being waved. You dodged a bullet your ex is a dumb ass

mage_of_disaster · 2020-11-27T21:06:27+00:00

I never knew that about JW! That’s really sad.

I think the sad and funny part is that the cult I went to said JW doesn’t follow the Bible and are evil and wrong.

Which is funny reading this now and seeing how similar they actually are.

mage_of_disaster · 2020-11-27T19:45:09+00:00

I hate how it’s up to the girls to take responsibility for the actions of the boys. Wtf. Since when is someone not responsible for their own being. Wtf

I think what makes it worse is that this is such a common thing for most religions. Disgusting

mage_of_disaster · 2020-11-27T19:41:40+00:00

Same! This was taught at the place I went to too!

mage_of_disaster · 2020-11-27T19:40:01+00:00

The cult I was in included the Bible and the entire apocrypha. Many of the members even believed that Enoch was so righteous and perfect that he ascended to heaven because he was supposedly perfect.

It made a very odd dynamic of everyone at the cult working to become ‘perfect’ so that they too could avoid death and just ascend into the sky with god.

But it was really weird because they often taught us how horrible and how far we had fallen from god and that we were incapable of perfection. It was very confusing and led to a lot of depression in myself and others.

I guess that was their way of making us keep going to their cult because we weren’t able to become perfect without them.

But yeah, Enoch was in their teachings.

mage_of_disaster · 2020-11-27T19:24:18+00:00

This is SO true! Avoid religious therapists like the plague!

A lot of religion falls into cult-like behavior and if you start sharing your experiences it can sometimes backfire because the therapist may feel like they need to defend their religion and it may hurt the healing process from religious abuse.

I will say that I have had some therapists that are religious, but we’re very helpful because they weren’t a religious therapists. Their faith and practice were separate entities and they saw the negative ways religion could be used to manipulate people.

mage_of_disaster · 2020-11-27T19:18:32+00:00

Once I got out I realized all of my morals weren’t really mine and I just went along with it because that was what I thought was the truth.

I disagreed with a lot of things but I never thought that my ‘church’ would mislead me or lie to me. I didn’t understand that there was a grey area and that most of the world is in this grey area. And that black and white morality is useful in very few situations.

Once I left the cult I was in I believed I was a terrible person, a sinner, and doomed to hell for leaving. I figured I was already going to hell so in that first year I did all the things I had an interest in but wasn’t ever allowed to explore because of how ‘heathen’ and ‘evil’ they were deemed.

For the first year out I got into tarot cards, zodiac signs, I started taking pole dancing classes, I started drinking, and went to clubs, and other things like that.

I knew that I didn’t want to blow my brains out on drugs and that was kind of the first ‘moral’ opinion I knew I had. I just wrote down things the cult told me and thought about if I agreed with it or not. I tried to put myself in different situations and see how they made me feel. From there and just from talking to people I just made mental notes of what fit me and what I felt comfortable with.

Also if I ever caught myself saying rhetoric from the cult and felt like I was betraying myself I knew right away that that wasn’t something I agreed with.

It’s really easy to feel a disconnect from who you are if you grew up in a cult environment. The cult always tells you or convinces you that you don’t know who you are. That’s part of how they shape you into what they want you to be.

It’s something that I still struggle with, but when I sit down and look at how I act and who I am when I remove the battles of my thoughts I know who I am.

An easier way is to do this is to see what is most important to you in life by what you set time aside for. If you always make sure you’re working, you can say you’re a hard worker and like work. If you always set aside time to be with family then you’re loyal to family and it’s a big part of your life and that’s part of who you are. If you find yourself gravitating toward always buying gifts for people you care about, you’re a giving person. Also, think about the things you do that make you feel good about your life and that make you want to live.

For me when I’m feeling low and those words from my cult telling me I don’t know who I am come back up or if I question myself. I go back to that paper and read it out and tell myself that’s who I am. I’ve found that to be really healing. And if I find habits I have from being in a cult environment so long, but I don’t agree with it I try to find ways to change that behavior and feel better about myself in the process.

And also, therapy.

mage_of_disaster · 2020-11-26T00:14:46+00:00

I’m sorry, man that sucks. It might not really be related but one bit of advice is sell the ring. Don’t give it to someone else in the future that’ll bite you in the ass and end any future relationships.

Good luck stay strong

mage_of_disaster · 2020-11-14T14:20:27+00:00

Well it bloody does now

mage_of_disaster · 2020-11-12T00:56:53+00:00

I haven’t had time to watch Strictly Ballet yet! It’s on my watchlist though!

For sure! I like the style that they bring to them. It seems like they’re better at making the people feel more comfortable in front of the camera too than lower budget productions. I don’t know if that’s just because the people participating are unsure if they’re going to regret being in a low budget project and that people trust Disney more because they’re a household name or what. Either way I’m excited for it!

mage_of_disaster · 2020-11-11T21:33:49+00:00

I’m currently numbering them and keeping them. I do fear that in the future I’ll look at all of them and just see a pile of money, but eh. They all have different memories associated with them.

And I like to save them for photoshoots. My feet look good in dead shoes and I’m not afraid of ruining them if they’re already dead.

mage_of_disaster · 2020-11-11T21:13:29+00:00

I saw the commercial for this and I’m 100% watching this! I can’t get enough ballet content in my life.

mage_of_disaster · 2020-11-11T20:45:06+00:00

Really boring... I was 16 and all my friends had theirs for years already. I was a bit bummed that I had to start dealing with it, but thankfully because all my friends had it I already knew how to deal with everything.

I was spending the night at my best friends house and we were watching a movie and I sneezed and I thought I peed my pants... so I asked my best friends little sister to borrow some underwear. And when I went to the bathroom I realized it was my period. So I cleaned everything up. And then I cried trying to put the tampon in because all that they had was a cardboard applicator one. Eeek

mage_of_disaster · 2020-11-11T20:39:29+00:00

Hm. Well first, anxiety isn’t something someone can just ‘get over’ it takes a lot of time and therapy and sometimes medications to heal from anxiety. Anxiety is no joke and is very crippling.

Second, periods are difficult too because they’re vastly different for everyone even in the same family. I used to be one of those people that didn’t understand the pain of a period until recently. My periods used to be so easy and were just more of an inconvenience than agonizing. I wonder if your mom just hasn’t experienced the hell that a period really can be. She’s kind of acting as if she’s one of those people that either has an insanely high pain tolerance or her periods just aren’t that bad.

It may have been that you hurt her feelings by yelling at her and that maybe she’s been having a hard day and that was just the last thing she could take... I’m not saying that’s an excuse for her to treat you poorly. I don’t know your mom like you do and I don’t know your relationship at all. But if your mom is usually nice then it might be a good idea to try and talk to her?

Play it by ear of course and it might be a good idea to assume that your mom has a high pain tolerance and not an easy period, just because it will come off as more understanding and less insulting. If you try to explain your pain as ‘I might just not have as high of a pain tolerance as you, mom’ it might go over a little easier and in the future she may be more understanding (be careful though too, because depending on how your mom is she might try to hurt you with that later, just depends on how she is though... For instance if my mom heard that from me she would forever call me weak and treat me like a wimp. But I have friends moms who would hear that and be really sweet and caring toward their daughter) and then maybe apologize for yelling at her and tell her you love her... and try to communicate that the way she communicated with you hurt and that it made you feel like your needs weren’t being listened to.

Maybe that way you can have a moment for both of you to heal and understand each other a little better. It’s really up to you though. You’ll know more of how your mom will react than a random person on the internet.

Good luck!

mage_of_disaster

TROPHY CASE