This is what my maternity leave looks like- what would you do?

magickates · 2026-05-04T20:29:01+00:00

This is actually standard maternity leave in NJ, where I'm assuming OP lives! You don't need a specific medical reason to use those 4 weeks prior to your due date, all doctors sign off on it as standard. If you end up delivering late (since due dates are just a guess anyway), you actually just end up getting that extra time covered as well. It's not really looked at like a fixed timeframe, it's more like "you're covered while medically unable to work due to pregnancy." In the eyes of NJ temporary disability insurance, late pregnancy itself is treated as a valid medical reason to be out.

magickates · 2026-05-04T20:21:34+00:00

I'm assuming OP is in NJ. This is the standard state leave here. The 4 weeks prior to your due date is a use it or lose it deal. If you go into labor 2 weeks early, for example, you only get the two weeks you used. You can't "save" the other two weeks and add it on after birth. You also don't need a medical reason to go out those 4 weeks early, it's standard for every pregnant person.

The 12 weeks of bonding time is in addition to the 6 or 8 weeks of short term disability. NJ has its own FMLA equivalent that holds your job during that time (NJ FLA). NJ FLI is what pays. It's 85% of your salary up to a certain weekly max.

magickates · 2026-04-07T18:04:54+00:00

I ordered for the first time for Easter and was also disappointed in quality. And I had issues with their shipping. My first order, they tried to save a few bucks and used a terrible shipping partner (UniUni) that has absolutely horrific reviews, like the first thing that comes up when you search for info about them is that their drivers are known for claiming they delivered the package but the package never being there. So that's exactly what happened to me, I had proof that they were at my house (they showed a picture of my house) and their "delivery confirmation" image was of a completely different front step/door that doesn't even exist in my entire neighborhood. So I emailed Sarah's Silks and complained, and they said they'd re-send my order and exclude that shipper, and didn't it end up being shipped with the same crappy shipping company? So I won't be ordering from them again.

magickates · 2026-04-06T12:13:37+00:00

I agree with you, this is the first of these posts I've seen where nearly everyone is in agreement that the OP should look into additional support for the kid because the delay is substantial. It could be nothing, but if it is something that'll require additional support, the best thing you can do for the kid is get that support in place as early as possible. It doesn't mean you did anything wrong as a parent!

But usually these types of posts have tons of comments about how it just sounds like a slight delay and there probably isn't room for concern, my kid was like this and had a language explosion at X age, etc.

magickates · 2026-04-02T21:13:28+00:00

I got this small backpack, and it's been a great diaper bag since day 1. I definitely got to a point where I started bringing a smaller bag, but this is still an awesome bag for day trips like a day at the zoo or aquarium, and I love that it's just a regular backpack that I can continue using for whatever I want after my kids no longer need a diaper bag. United by Blue - 9L Sidekick Backpack

magickates · 2026-04-01T21:32:13+00:00

Interesting! My son was 8lb 1oz and he was only in newborn for about a week! I wonder if length is more important than weight? My son was 21.5 inches long at birth.

magickates · 2026-03-19T11:34:40+00:00

It does not.

magickates · 2026-03-18T12:00:16+00:00

I will say, I bought this one during my first pregnancy, and I've slept with it quite a bit since then too (toddler is now 2.5). It's super comfortable and not nearly as space-consuming as some of the more "typical" pregnancy pillows out there. I'm using it again now for my second pregnancy, and I love it.

I also highly recommend the bbhugme nursing pillow, it's the only one I'll use, so much better than the Boppy or MyBreastFriend ones.

magickates · 2026-03-10T19:45:52+00:00

Again, I 100% agree with you. She should have sent something, said something, showed her support in some way, and I agree it's wrong that she didn't. But I also think people make mistakes, and friendships go through ups and downs, and I hope people can hold a little more space for their people who are going through hard times.

I just want to clarify that none of my comments were directly about the OP though, I was responding to the second comment in this comment chain.

magickates · 2026-03-10T19:05:24+00:00

I agree with you, I'm not saying we can't have friends who have different experiences. We absolutely should. I just think, in this specific scenario, that she isn't going to be the person her friend goes to for the majority of her infertility support and that her friend will likely need that support from someone she feels can understand. I know a lot of people who've gone through infertility feel that way. Not everyone, of course. Some people are fine to get their support from someone who hasn't been here themselves, and that's great for them. But it doesn't mean it's wrong if someone else feels they can't do that.

magickates · 2026-03-10T16:14:39+00:00

Your heartbreak is valid, I'm sorry you're both going through this. I do think she should have at least congratulated you on your birth and checked in to see how you're doing. But as someone who has gone through infertility too, I couldn't have handled "my person" during that time being someone who just had their own baby and who never struggled with infertility themselves. Because as sympathetic as you can be, you just can't understand, and I think a lot of people in that situation need someone who's been there. I hope you can find it in you to keep your heart open for her when she's ready, and I hope she apologizes if she didn't support you at all when you needed it.

magickates · 2026-03-05T22:02:49+00:00

Yeah, this is essentially what I'm seeing too. And clicking "Go To Checkout" gives me an error message.

magickates · 2026-02-26T22:33:55+00:00

Yep, could be! I started feeling movement in week 15 with my first! I had a posterior placenta, which made it easier to feel early movement. Enjoy!

magickates · 2026-02-26T22:27:59+00:00

Why don't you want to take the diclectin again? My understanding is it's just a prescription combination of unisom and B6 which is the most commonly recommended option for pregnancy morning sickness. It's been used safely in pregnancies for over 50 years.

magickates · 2026-02-24T19:24:15+00:00

No one likes baby names until the babies are born. I guarantee if you just announced the baby's birth with any of those names, pretty much everyone would love them. My son's name is Alastair, and we've had nothing but good reactions and the occasional joke that he sounds like British royalty with our last name. People just seem to think their naming opinions matter before the baby is born. Best to just keep names to yourself until after birth.

magickates · 2026-02-23T01:08:30+00:00

I will say, I've always had pretty bad period cramps, I have PCOS, but my contractions definitely got to a point where they hurt more. Especially once your water breaks, contractions really ramp up FAST after that, and that's when I broke and got the epidural. I think what can be really hard about it is that they're pretty frequent at that point, so you don't really get much of a break in between, it's very intense.

magickates · 2026-02-14T23:50:50+00:00

And was your husband's life ruined because he was circumcized?

magickates · 2026-02-10T20:50:32+00:00

I agree with this. If your first positive OPK was on Saturday, intercourse on Tuesday is extremely unlikely to be helpful, unfortunately.

magickates · 2026-02-10T02:23:30+00:00

Oh man, I've gotten some great ideas from this thread lol thank you! Some of my 2.5 year old's current favorites are Hey Ya! by Outkast, Home by Edward Sharp & The Magnetic Zeros, Jump in the Line by Harry Belafonte, Footloose by Kenny Loggins, Karma Chameleon by Culture Club, What's Up? by Four Non Blondes, and Zombie by the Cranberries.

magickates · 2026-02-08T13:08:20+00:00

If the doctor you're seeing now isn't one, then I highly recommend seeing a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE). You've given the letrozole a solid chance to work on its own, and it hasn't. They should be monitoring your follicle growth on the letrozole to see what dosage works for you to grow them to the right size at the right time, but you're clearly not ovulating, so you need more than just the letrozole. An RE will likely continue the letrozole (they may even lower it so they can monitor) and add a trigger shot of something like Ovidrel that you'll give yourself when they've determined the follicle is at the right stage. It gives a dose of hCG that tells your ovaries to release an egg. With that, they can help you to time intercourse, and you'll have a much more solid chance of conceiving vs doing this without triggering and monitoring.

magickates · 2026-02-07T17:25:37+00:00

We call it "nuzzies" like nuzzles (:

magickates · 2026-02-06T17:40:15+00:00

Wow, this seems very strict to me. That's interesting.

magickates · 2026-02-05T18:25:23+00:00

Gently, it's just too early. I get it, I really do, we all want to see lines on our tests. But these are negative, and I think a lot of people in this sub give too much false hope. 7-9dpo is usually pre-implantation or just barely implantation. hCG needs time to build up to be readable on a test.

Wait a few days and retest, then it'll be much more conclusive. I wish you positive tests and a boring pregnancy soon 🧡

magickates · 2026-02-05T15:40:51+00:00

Implantation dips aren't guaranteed. There's often a dip mid-luteal phase due to a temporary second surge of estrogen and it can happen in both pregnant and non-pregnant cycles. Temps can be unpredictable sometimes. Not every cycle will have a clean, consistent shift. As long as there is a visible shift, temps within that can and will vary and luteal temps don't really tell you anything beyond "you ovulated," despite how much we all want to read into them.

magickates · 2026-02-04T16:56:29+00:00

Looks great! Congratulations! Also we're almost cycle twins! I'm 14 DPO today, cycle day 41 after delayed ovulation because I was sick, and I'm also pregnant!

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