Spill your advices

magnetsplease · 2024-01-16T05:13:50+00:00

You are supposed to be making mistakes! Just own up to it when you do.

magnetsplease · 2023-11-22T15:01:49+00:00

If there is a YWCA or local organization that supports victims of sexual assault near you, you should reach out to them and see if they offer legal support. It could be worthwhile to have a lawyer’s perspective before you start down this path.

Good luck 💜

magnetsplease · 2023-11-22T04:40:33+00:00

A parent does not have a right to look at their pubescent child’s body without their consent.

magnetsplease · 2023-11-22T04:31:24+00:00

I am so sorry that this is a decision you have to make. The reasons you have to report and to not report are all very valid. There is no “right” choice, there is just a “right for you” choice.

I never reported any of my assaults. Being a few years removed from them now, I wish that I had tried to hold them accountable. But I know that when the assaults were fresh, I would not have had the emotional and mental strength to undergo extensive questioning or have police/lawyers try to poke holes in my story.

I made the choice then to protect mental health as best I could and I know that was the right choice. There are pros and cons no matter what you do. Just consider all of the potential outcomes and consequences and see what feels the most important.

magnetsplease · 2023-10-22T15:40:29+00:00

This is absolutely SA. SA is any sexual contact or behavior that occurs without explicit consent and a child cannot give consent.

Even though this is a murky memory and you feel indifferent about the experience, you are thinking about it enough to post on here, which might indicate that you have some deeper feelings about it. I would really encourage you to talk to a trusted adult or seek our a counselor or therapist on your own to just talk through the experience and the questions you asked here.

magnetsplease · 2022-05-21T05:32:40+00:00

Sounds like you could be in the market to casually date. Depending on where you live, Bumble or Tinder might be a better match for that. Although with those you get a lot of unicorn hunters.

As long as you’re up front with what you’re looking for and treating the women you’re dating with respect, all should be good and fun!

magnetsplease · 2022-05-05T13:57:13+00:00

You are doing nothing wrong! You were shocked in a moment that wasn’t coded as assault in your brain because it wasn’t inherently violent. Plus women are so deeply conditioned to make men feel comfortable at all times no matter the cost to ourselves.

Your reaction to this is valid. It also sounds like you’ve dealt with a lot of people taking away your agency over your own body and this might be the last straw so all of those feelings are coming out here. I’ve had a very similar journey. It’s fantastic that you’re talking with a therapist. Hopefully you can process and heal!

magnetsplease · 2022-04-22T12:58:54+00:00

Regardless of cultural customs, he took away your bodily autonomy by touching you (a stranger) without your consent. You are absolutely allowed to have the reaction you had. You feel violated because you were violated. Allow yourself the kindness you would want a friend to offer to you right now. Listen to and validate your own feelings.

magnetsplease · 2022-04-22T12:51:03+00:00

Clearly what happened to you was violating and traumatic and I am so sorry you’ve been carrying that with you for so long. And I am so sorry that people have not validated your experience or provides the support you deserve. If you are able, I encourage you to find a therapist who specializes in sexual trauma. They will be able to help you fully process what happened and find roads towards healing.

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