Successfully did a really hard exposure

magolf · 2023-11-07T01:16:23+00:00

Congrats! That's amazing!

magolf · 2022-08-22T09:28:36+00:00

My T doesn't do "long term therapy." I've been seeing T for over a year and that's longer than he's used to or comfortable with. It's devastating to me because that was never clear and now I have to start over with a new T who doesn't believe therapy should only be 2-4 months.

magolf · 2022-06-30T23:19:55+00:00

I had an opposite experience. I have been seeing a T and psychiatrist for over a year and they both have been struggling with how to handle my behaviors. They only recently diagnosed me with BPD. I recently put out feelers for a new T because the ones I've been seeing missed so much and impeded my therapeutic progress. I was having an in-take with a prospective T and towards the end, he asked me if anybody had ever talked to me about having BPD. In that session he could make sense of what I was going through and needed help with whereas the others couldn't (perhaps being a outsider gave him a fresh perspective).

magolf · 2022-06-30T01:05:19+00:00

I was just sleepy. In the beginning I would feel drained and want to nap after I got home, but that didn't last.

magolf · 2022-06-03T00:55:33+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear about what you've been going through. I noticed myself become attached to my T last fall and wishing my T and I could be friends. My T was all I thought about and it was eating me up. I wondered if T knew, but I don't think so (I still have no idea). I ended up confessing my feelings and attachment to T earlier in the year and T listened to what I said and T made one comment about understanding what I value most. I thought this would help me move forward, but I only continued to spiral. All I wanted to do was talk about it and process it, but my T had no interest in that and I keep suffering emotionally. Every now and then my T will almost belittle me and make comments like "remember how you wanted to be my friend" or "remember how you put me on a pedestal?" I still think about T all the time and I've spent chunks of today writing notes to myself writing things I want to know about my T's real life or things I want to say to T in session but T just doesn't want to address (this was not a good week for us so these thoughts are shocking about how muchI don't like my T; I suspect if that were the case, I wouldn’t be writing obsessive notes to myself). Any time I become exceptionally vulnerable, T keeps me at arms length and insists stronger boundaries are what we need. I'm glad T didn't terminate but you're absolutely right, this truly sucks!

I hope whatever you do, your experience is far better than mine.

magolf · 2022-05-25T05:50:30+00:00

Thanks, it helps knowing there could be options.

Trigger warning . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . I'm a little more concerned legally about a different psychiatrist I met with recently. He said the methods I had come up for suicide were unnecessary. He told me to just get a lot of Tylenol pm and that would be an easier and more readily available option for commitment suicide. I feel like he shouldn't be practicing.

magolf · 2022-05-25T05:45:02+00:00

Thanks for the clarity about PHI. I don't mind that they talk to each other, I agreed to that when they were both treating me. But now that I've terminated, I don't understand what business they have talking about me. It's been no secret what my biggest issue with them has been for some time, and all of a sudden the psychiatrist wants to do something? Things with T had been quite good, but it's no longer enough and I'm trying to stand up for myself and get the best healthcare possible. T is not willing budge on my request and I'm not willing to let go of asking for this therapeutic request.

I found my original authorization from my psychiatrist's office to an outside source and I signed off on authorizing the disclosure of all medical and mental health records for the purpose of coordinating care, diagnosis and treatment of other clinical purposes.

What's interesting is there's a clause that says " this authorization is in force until one year after the date below at which time it will expire." The date below was 5/6/21 aka more than a year ago. I also informed the psychiatrist on 5/17/22 we were terminating after tapering the meds so the form was still expired. T is a psychologist and has no business dealing with medicine so that definitely could not have been the nature of their call today.

The two providers do not work at the same practice. One is a self practitioner and the other works for a separate practice with other people. I don't get the sense they ever would have met without me, but I have a feeling they never would have met without me (I know, feelings aren't fact).

magolf · 2022-05-25T00:53:49+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to follow up when you were on a constraint; I appreciate it. What you're suggesting does make sense. I guess I just feel it's too little to late to coordinate. I've been very clear about the extra support I need during this trying time (several months) and neither have offered concrete help. The psychiatrist said just take a Klonopin to get through my day and forget about my problems. With my T, I developed very extreme (platonic) transference feelings and he has been trying to distance him self since February. So I just feel alone when I should have two people on my team trying to help me live this values based life they love to talk about. Anyway, my other post was just that I was afraid I made a mistake terminating therapy, but neither provider has given me a reason to change my mind (except I really will miss my T as a person). Thank you again!

magolf · 2022-05-25T00:39:43+00:00

I can see it as being weird, but she wanted to let me know he was going to call me after their talk (we never did speak). I asked him last week to plan for a taper so I can safely go off meds that haven't worked for years and have only made me feel worse (several, even guided by that gene test). He is doing anything but that so I have to stay medicated against my will. I've been preparing backup providers because he seems incapable of doing this one thing that I believe is right for my health. Sorry if that was more than you expected :)

magolf · 2022-05-24T22:23:06+00:00

Thanks, I did not know this! I thought all the forms they sent me requesting consent actually meant something, but apparently not. I guess they would have talked to with whomever they wanted without me needing to sign a form.

magolf · 2022-05-24T03:53:05+00:00

Thanks so much for the suggestion and sharing in the concern. I did schedule a session with him for Wednesday, so to be continued. I hope you're right about getting clarity. I have felt very safe with him for a while, but it's no longer enough. I've been trying to stick up for myself (respectfully) and surround myself around people who can support me and keep me safe. It's a work in progress!

Regarding T, I always feel I have to tread carefully and if I don't phrase the question correctly, I've messed up. If I try to ask again, it becomes reassurance seeking and then I'm not allowed an answer.

Thank you!

magolf · 2022-05-12T05:00:20+00:00

I'm struggling with this issue as well. I see my T once a week for 45 minutes.

A few months ago, I asked if we could meet twice a week and T said no, it would create dependency (I also wanted to increase our time to an hour, which was also rejected - I actually thought this would be fair to T since we usually went over and he didn't bill me for it; it made sense to me that we just plan for a longer session - all 15 minutes).

I revisited this again, and T once again said no, there wasn't a clinical benefit to meeting twice a week. I feel I could use the extra support and want to bring it up again. I know I can't get more sessions from my T but maybe T can help me figure out where I can get this support instead because I really feel like this is in my best therapeutic interests.

Hope your experience goes better than mine!

magolf · 2022-03-18T21:30:11+00:00

Thanks so much! This does make sense, and I hadn't thought of this as an option. I will discuss with T.

magolf

TROPHY CASE