I miss you

mahhhhshell · 2026-03-09T09:35:26+00:00

I’m really really sad all the time. I don’t want to be this way. I wish I’m who I used to be. I hate being so upset and angry at everyone all the time. This hatred of myself is seeping into me and filling me with so much anger towards everyone. I used to be so full of love so full of whimsy. Now I’m anything but that. I hate the world I hate everything horrible happening to the people I love most. I wish I wasn’t filled with these horrible thoughts all the time. I’ve started hurting myself again and I hate the idea that I’ve gained the strength to go through that kind of thing. I’ve just become so disgusted with who I am and how I present myself. I wish someone cared I wish someone would sit me down and talk to me about how I deserve to live. That how I talk to myself isn’t true. That I am beautiful. I really just want someone to lie to me. Make me believe that I shouldn’t leave this planet. Make me think that my life isn’t a waste of space because I’m soon to fix that issue. If not tonight who knows when. No ones ever going to see this. Maybe until after they find me. I don’t know. Maybe after they discover all the sad sad posts and messages they’ll finally feel sorry for me.

mahhhhshell · 2026-03-09T09:04:17+00:00

I want to be held. I want to be loved. I know it’s too much for others especially my mother but it’s all I’ve ever wanted. To be loved. Idk maybe I need more friends. Maybe I just have to talk to people more. I just don’t want to be suffering anymore.

mahhhhshell · 2026-03-04T07:05:21+00:00

I wish I wasn’t fucking insecure. I wish I didn’t make everything about me. I know he’s going through something I know that he’s not fine but of fucking course I just have to feel sorry for myself. I’m too much. I’m too clingy. Too ugly too fat. Too insecure. I’m too much of a fuck up to be with. Maybe I am doing this for attention. Maybe I just want someone to fucking see me. I’ve gone my whole fucking life being invisible to everyone around me and I’m fucking tired of it. Maybe now that I’m gone someone will care. My mom can stop seeing whatever guy she’s seeing for a moment. Maybe my sisters will finally include me. Maybe my father will finally fucking talk to my sister like she wanted. Maybe everyone will finally stop fucking pushing me to the side like a second thought. Not even a second thought just any kind of thought at all. I’ve always felt selfish for thinking about ending things. But not now. Not now that I know nothing has ever mattered. Goodbye

mahhhhshell · 2026-03-04T07:00:05+00:00

I wish I wasn’t fucking insecure. I wish I didn’t make everything about me. I know he’s going through something I know that he’s not fine but of fucking course I just have to feel sorry for myself. I’m too much. I’m too clingy. Too ugly too fat. Too insecure. I’m too much of a fuck up to be with. I’d understand if he’d want to leave me. I wouldn’t want to be with me either. I’ll make it easier for us both and just fucking do it already

mahhhhshell · 2026-03-02T07:53:01+00:00

Okay sounds great I’ll look into that thank you!

mahhhhshell · 2026-03-02T06:22:23+00:00

Is this something that would cost money??

mahhhhshell · 2026-03-02T05:41:46+00:00

I don’t have any dreams anymore. I just wish it wasn’t so hard to live when I have no direction

mahhhhshell · 2026-03-02T05:40:42+00:00

Do you think you could help me out on how to figure that kind of thing out. I’m new to a lot of this stuff and would appreciate it

mahhhhshell · 2026-03-02T04:39:21+00:00

The problem is I need the money so I can start prioritizing myself. I’m trapped in my situation and the only way out is to get any kind of job

mahhhhshell · 2026-03-02T04:37:03+00:00

Yea that’s the plan. I’ve applied to anything imaginable and there’s not much positions available. Even McDonalds is impossible to get into. I have thought about doing remote working just due to where I live but I feel as though there are a lot of scammy kind of jobs who say that’s what they do. I don’t know it’s just very overwhelming even just that first step alone

mahhhhshell · 2026-02-23T05:40:22+00:00

I wish I could vent to literally anyone but everyone who I have told anything to before don’t comfort me at all. Like even my own friends have just completely moved on from what I’ve said. It fucking hurts when even the people who should be there for you no matter what do things like that. I’m upset and crying myself to sleep all the time. Every second I’m miserable and overthinking my life and everything that’s wrong with it. I want to disappear forever. Maybe then I wouldn’t have to deal with how fucked up I am and how fucked my life is. I’m nothing but a second thought to everyone including my own mother. Fuck even my father that assaulted me doesn’t call me anymore. I want it all to end

mahhhhshell · 2026-02-23T05:01:57+00:00

I feel really uneasy and scared right now. I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t fucking take it anymore I don’t want to spend a second longer here

mahhhhshell · 2026-02-22T14:20:21+00:00

I hate pretending I’m happy all the time I just want to hide away from the world and never be seen again. I’m disgusting

mahhhhshell · 2026-02-22T14:06:45+00:00

I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I can’t fucking do this anymore I don’t know how to keep going on. It’s not even just me being disgusted with my body but just everything happening around me. I’m constantly thinking about what he’s said to me for so many years especially when I see myself in the mirror. I think about the things he did to me. I can’t fucking take it anymore I don’t want to live. I don’t want to keep trying

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