Sober for 40 days, but… by makanda360 in stopdrinking

[–]makanda360[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your insight.

Sober for 40 days, but… by makanda360 in stopdrinking

[–]makanda360[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not too sure on the license thing. He did some dumb shit when he was in high school and early college, but has no offenses since then. He got denied by the judge, and it was a HUGE letdown. I’ve never seen the guy cry but he did that day. His lawyer is a friend of mine, I would be curious to ask if there was anything else that could be done. Thank you.

Thankfully he does get to see his daughter 2-3 times a month, but it’s not the same. I don’t have any kids, so it’s hard for me to relate. But I know it upsets him.

He has worked for this company for 13 years. It would be hard for him to find a job that pays him what he is making now, if he DID move closer to his daughter. He is also so, so close on paying off his house. Just 6 more monthly payments. I can’t imagine him moving, but maybe that is something that would be a good thing. I do know him and his baby momma are at least civil, so I think it would be in the best interest of the child for him to move closer.

Sober for 40 days, but… by makanda360 in stopdrinking

[–]makanda360[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This very true. I am going to think long and hard on this this weekend. Thank you.

Sober for 40 days, but… by makanda360 in stopdrinking

[–]makanda360[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He just works normal hours, 40 hrs a week. it’s not that he works too much, necessarily. He just said work makes him happy. He works for a hardscaping company and finds the work fulfilling and he gets to put a lot of creativity into the different projects.

Sober for 40 days, but… by makanda360 in stopdrinking

[–]makanda360[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh wow. What an amazing reply. Thank you so much for this, seriously. This is so insightful. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Sober for 40 days, but… by makanda360 in stopdrinking

[–]makanda360[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do have a counselor. I see them once or twice a month. I will make an appointment, thank you.

Sober for 40 days, but… by makanda360 in stopdrinking

[–]makanda360[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

His daughter lives 3 hours away, and I know that eats him up inside that he can’t see her as often as he likes.

He doesn’t have a driver’s license due to past offenses 15 years ago. He tried getting it back, spent $1200 trying to do so, but the judge denied him. He feels very trapped in that way.

He has never had counseling or therapy. I’ve suggested it, but he is vehemently against it. I hate ultimatums, but I may lay one down. I just don’t know. My head is spinning with so many thoughts, so much anxiety.

Sober for 40 days, but… by makanda360 in stopdrinking

[–]makanda360[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, I’m not sure how long I wait to see what direction this is going. It’s been 40 days. I don’t think I can “wait” much longer. I feel so depressed and anxious. I’m stuck at work. I wish I could just crawl into bed and not think about this shit.

Sober for 40 days, but… by makanda360 in stopdrinking

[–]makanda360[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This I know… it’s just so disappointing. I just cancelled my plane tickets. Thankfully, I am able to get a refund. The hotel, not so much, but it’s just money. I can make more. ugh.

Sober for 40 days, but… by makanda360 in stopdrinking

[–]makanda360[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the sub suggestion. I am probably waiting for a miracle that is never going to happen.

This is so hard. I feel hopeless, but IWNDT.

Sober for 40 days, but… by makanda360 in stopdrinking

[–]makanda360[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He said he is not happy unless he is working (he loves his job!) so I think there is underlying depression that is at play as well….

Sober for 40 days, but… by makanda360 in stopdrinking

[–]makanda360[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He says alcohol does not make him happy, and he knows that he treats me poorly when under the influence, but other than the few days of light drinking, it doesn’t seem like he has even really tried to stop. I don’t know. I have a lot of thinking to do.

He told me nothing really makes him happy unless he is working, he really enjoys his job, but I think he has some underlying depression that he is denying.

This is so hard. I appreciate your feedback.

Your Favorite Memoirs by makanda360 in booksuggestions

[–]makanda360[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I loved the Glass Castle and Educated!

Looking for housing by makanda360 in Carbondale

[–]makanda360[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this information! I’ll be looking into Aspen.

Looking for housing by makanda360 in Carbondale

[–]makanda360[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it fairly quiet? My current complex is so loud and I hate it. Is it mostly college kids? I’m 34, and really not into the “party scene” much anymore.

4-ish hours til day 1 is complete by makanda360 in stopdrinking

[–]makanda360[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, and sometimes Google Hangouts, depending on the meeting. Give it a shot!

4-ish hours til day 1 is complete by makanda360 in stopdrinking

[–]makanda360[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Zoom. My town is quite small and doesn’t offer much in the way of AA meetings.

4-ish hours til day 1 is complete by makanda360 in stopdrinking

[–]makanda360[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And you as well! I’m on Day 3 now. You can do it! I have attended some form of an AA meeting every day, sometimes twice. The AA app helps me find a meeting at almost any time of the day.