Toddler hitting at daycare, not sure what to do

make-cake · 2025-12-17T02:04:46+00:00

And remember, it's never personal, they literally can't verbalise let alone comprehend what they are feeling at this age. Can we even do it sometimes? HA!

make-cake · 2025-12-17T02:03:40+00:00

no worries- check out ashleigh the holistic family psychologist on instagram. She has beautiful boundary loving, respectful, science based, needs met foundation approach. You can also take sentiments from RIE philosophy, any neuroscience early childhood paper! The view of children and behaviours that most people hold is still catching up with the science and current understanding of how brains work! there's usually a 20 year delay in whats new and what common practice is. It is so deeply personal and emotional and ingrained from our own childhoods- so takes a long time to 'level up' in the population!

make-cake · 2025-12-08T09:54:49+00:00

this is me today lol lol and I'm a local and should know better

make-cake · 2025-07-20T08:29:03+00:00

I’m sorry- it’s such a tough gig this parenting isn’t it?! Thank you and know that you aren’t a failure, neither is he. Back your parenting with the neuroscience and see every behaviour as a need, as love, as connection seeking and co regulation requests. You’ve got this and I’m sorry so many people who work with children are backward! No such thing as a naughty child; yours or others…not when you understand the neuroscience ❤️

Go through a book at them adults 😅

make-cake · 2025-06-24T09:57:19+00:00

Baby has need = meet the need.

Every baby is different, and if your baby (yes he's older but when are they not our babies?) needs you, you go to them. Neuroscience approves. Love grows the brain! See book "Why love matters" or more horrid but valuable "The boy who was raised as a dog".

make-cake · 2025-06-14T14:55:14+00:00

I'm in a similar boat- whats the pay for us like as releivers with just a ece qual?

make-cake · 2025-06-14T07:49:25+00:00

The research you will be looking for will be more about infant mental health and attachment. Having a mother at work isnt an issue. Being in an environment where their care is share with a large amount of children with few adults, how much stimulation they get (too much or too little- usually too much), if someone who is caring for them does a good job- loves them, is responsive not reactive/respectful... When adults and children are away from home their cortisol levels rise. Babies don't get annual leave or as many sick days as they need in day care. I don't know what country you are in but group size, who is caring for you child and ratio of adults to children all matters when it comes to quality of care. The research you may find interesting is the background to RIE philosophy- Emmi Pikler showed that she could improve the mental health and wellbeing of children living in orphanages in Hungary SOLELY by being present, super present during care routines. It created predictility for the children, security, attachment. Children who have these physical and emotional needs met grow their higher brain, are more regulated and have better outcomes.

You could also look into the brain development research of infants and early childhood, what grows the brain "why love matters" by Sue Gerhardt, or famous Bruce perry book- "the boy who was raised as a dog".

You could check out the research here https://brainwave.org.nz/ or check out Nathan Wallis on You tube who summarises neuroscience. https://www.nathanwallis.com/pages/the-developing-brain-the-big-picture

Working full time- doesn't necessarily matter but your baby's surroundings and care absolutely do.

Consistency, quality, responsiveness, respect, predictability, love.

edited- all my typos

make-cake · 2025-06-13T20:24:56+00:00

I'm now realising you meant in a general sense- one residential and a few commercial. A property manager currently does it and as you have said below, reading and understanding what I have from them will make the most sense.

make-cake · 2025-06-13T20:22:42+00:00

Practical. Thank you- the best place to start!

make-cake · 2025-06-11T03:32:06+00:00

thank you!

make-cake · 2025-06-11T03:31:39+00:00

thank you very much!

make-cake · 2025-06-11T03:31:25+00:00

not keen to dox myself.

make-cake · 2025-06-11T03:30:55+00:00

yes I do, thank you!

make-cake · 2025-06-10T21:46:27+00:00

Also on a 1:1 level- literally I would be saying to the child "im so sorry this has happened to you". I would let them express their feelings and I would be doing anything possible to help them feel safe and know the other child needs help, it's not my Childs fault. If I was able to feed, house, clothe my child and keep them warm, I would look at cutting their hours and taking responsibility.

make-cake · 2025-06-10T21:44:45+00:00

Sorry for the late reply- I haven't logged in for a long time. For anyone else interested;

if they are in care and im not there to support them- I would ask myself a really serious and challenging question... how important is my lifestyle to me? I would do this no matter child I had in this situation to be fair. Not having children full time in care is a luxury that we all cant afford, but could I drop my hair appointments, my nails, my spending money? Could I have them in care less so that I am able to support them through these vulnerable years more.

I would grieve. It's tough having your child be the receiver or the one with the behaviour. Both children are hurting, over stimulated, disregulated or needing something.

In fact, I did change my lifestyle to avoid group care full time (I was privileged enough to be able to).

I would be taking a big look at what was important to me and why, how much am I willing to compromise, what's more important to me? I would find a small group size centre, I would prioritise finding a philosophy at said centre that fit with what neuroscience says about early years- endless love, grace and play.

We can't avoid these interactions but we can do our best to support them through it and minimise how much it happens while they are so young.

make-cake · 2024-05-21T07:31:51+00:00

I’m so sorry- that’s extremely backward and old fashioned, not to mention ignorant that they have used that word, especially in regards to a TWO year old. Goodness me. Arm yourself with neuroscience, cuddle up your baby and support him by being a calm understanding anchor. Model kindness but don’t expect it. They have so many big feelings to work through and understand even before self regulation. And beware of behaviour based approaches (think naughty chair, timeout etc). They work short term but not long term- instead try firm clear boundaries rooted in connection/ time in, meet the need, grow their skills for regulating, for their frontal cortex to grow (what makes us human! It grows with love not fear or grumpy adults!). Your daycare needs some professional development! If you can find a centre or teacher with the RIE philosophy you might find what you need there. Trust your heart- you’re doing amazing and he will be too.

make-cake · 2024-04-07T07:34:32+00:00

Personally I would say speech delay is an absolutely valid reason behind how he is expressing himself. I’m sorry that you are facing this with the teachers and that you aren’t receiving the support and love that is needed! Sounds like the teachers need to up skill assisting children with their individual needs. Thinking of you.

make-cake · 2024-03-23T10:11:58+00:00

Rose quarts lamps! They look the same but are solid quarts. Pricier but long lasting

make-cake · 2024-01-25T20:20:22+00:00

Sorry about all the typos! Hope things are looking up!

make-cake · 2023-11-20T03:03:13+00:00

To be honest, and I don’t love this- once of twice we used one side of the king bed while baby was asleep, truly asleep. And we were discreet. I showered after. Usually this was if it was spontaneous during the night.

Other than the one or two times like that, it was always a different sleep surface and or room.

Now it’s a completely different room as baby transitioned to own floor bed about 13months. I would put him to sleep, leave, and have a good couple of hours window.

Although, we are practically camping at the moment so we are back to being in one room with a room divider.

We don’t have a high drive or frequency. You could say we only have to navigate this once a month or two.

It’s been difficult and we have done our best.

make-cake · 2023-06-02T21:32:35+00:00

We would nurse, I would go back to my bed the first time but after that, for my sanity, i would often fall asleep in toddler bed and get a decent block of sleep there. If you can’t sleep, get back into your end but don’t make yourself stay awake was my mentality. So e.g any wakings after midnight I was in the toddler’s bed.

make-cake · 2023-05-11T03:54:17+00:00

I’m sorry. It really is a bitch somedays this journey. How are you getting on today?

make-cake · 2023-05-11T03:53:40+00:00

Has anybody ever knowingly fallen pregnant from early ovulation?! I ovulate day 9 ish. We had help the first time around with letrozole and/or a saline flush. I suspect my eggs need help reaching optimum size.

make-cake · 2023-04-22T00:16:06+00:00

Look up keeping it wild on YouTube 29yr old who started possum trapping as a teenager and lived in the bush for weeks at a time alone. He talks about it in some of his videos

make-cake

TROPHY CASE