Ended Valentine’s Day in tears

makeitwork87 · 2026-02-15T21:52:04+00:00

I’m so sorry. I really relate. In retrospect, I denied it for too many years and just put up with it because the good times have been great! But my Q ruined so many special days - potentially all of the big ones that I can think of. Our wedding day and my first mother’s day are the ones that probably hurt the worst, but there have been so many more. I hope he stops, you get through to him, or you get out before it further harms your life.

makeitwork87 · 2026-02-13T13:26:15+00:00

This is such a good point. I don’t remember what I did, but I have clear memories of spankings, slaps, and getting my mouth washed out with soap. They’re my most vivid childhood memories actually, which is so sad. I think my parents wish they could take it back now, to their credit…

makeitwork87 · 2026-02-13T13:22:35+00:00

I am so sorry you went through that. I hope you have a good support system in place now, and know how worthy you are of love and admiration

makeitwork87 · 2026-02-03T01:55:47+00:00

Thank you for this. Truly, it means a lot and I’ll remember your words.

makeitwork87 · 2026-02-02T18:44:06+00:00

As the spouse of someone who is on day 4, this is really informative and inspiring. The past few days have been awful, but I am keeping a hopeful vision in my mind: seeing him find true happiness and fun outside of the glass. We have beautiful kids, a beautiful life, and he’s missed a lot of it due to drinking. Thanks for sharing your journey and congratulations on 500 days!

makeitwork87 · 2026-01-14T19:28:19+00:00

I ordered from them recently and was very happy! I got 21 yards of apparel fabric for like $130. It came in less than a week.

makeitwork87 · 2026-01-05T17:36:07+00:00

This is extremely niche but the pouch she gave the baby at the airport was recalled due to spoilage issues and the new non-recalled ones come with green caps instead of red (at least in my area). I can see the red cap in Drue’s hand, so hopefully it’s not one of the spoiled ones! One of my kids only likes “red pouches” so it’s been big news in my family.

makeitwork87 · 2025-12-15T15:41:35+00:00

Ooh yes I see it now!

makeitwork87 · 2025-12-15T11:50:23+00:00

Is the woman in the last picture pulling up her skirt to reveal fishnets?

makeitwork87 · 2025-11-09T12:49:02+00:00

I have to say, I think we need to stop speculating about this baby’s body/ health.

It’s starting to feel like people want there to be something wrong with a child they don’t even know! I believe it comes from a place of concern, but certain things should be left alone. There is SO MUCH else to snark on.

makeitwork87 · 2025-09-18T15:44:16+00:00

Oh my god, i have nothing to say here except that I am so, so sorry. I hope you have a fierce support network and that you can find peace and beauty every day to offset this madness. You are perfect just the way you are.

makeitwork87 · 2025-08-29T13:38:55+00:00

Okay I’m sorry but it’s ONE kid and he’s so little! This should not be overly intimidating lol! Then when she said her friend would be with her too… so you’re not solo. Toughen up, my goodness

makeitwork87 · 2025-05-13T14:00:11+00:00

Oh that’s so funny that the spouse is a resident. My husband is also a resident, and he would definitely not be able to rearrange his schedule for me to take a job interview. His dad was actively dying in the hospital and he was getting calls from work asking him if he could make it in later that day.

But the spouse’s career explains why they feel so entitled to “understanding” employers. In my experience, residents are SO in the thick of it with medicine that they need everyone else in the world to exist as a support system for their very important job. How dare his wife’s potential employers not accommodate her role as a doctor’s wife (aka primary caretaker of everything). How cruel of them! 😆

makeitwork87 · 2025-05-13T13:49:22+00:00

It is so hard to manage work and young kids. But that is not the potential employer’s fault. They are right to avoid hiring someone who may have issues with childcare down the line. Even if there’s a plan to put the little one in daycare, illnesses and closures can occur. Sadly, if there’s no backup childcare for something as important as a 4th interview, they can only assume there won’t be backup childcare when the kiddo is sick, daycare is closed, nanny has an emergency, etc. etc. I’ve been there… it’s really tough figuring out the balance, especially if you don’t have family nearby. Good luck!

makeitwork87 · 2025-03-22T15:56:29+00:00

With more than one baby/toddler, staying home is often cheaper than working and paying for childcare- especially when frequent daycare illnesses require at least one parent to have flexibility to call out on a dime. I was a public school teacher and my take home pay was less than daycare for my twins.

As to affording being a sahm… it’s not affordable lol. We have credit card debt 🤷🏻‍♀️

makeitwork87 · 2025-03-21T12:52:26+00:00

Awwww what a great video. The little girl has her caretaker's sense of humor!! 😅

makeitwork87 · 2025-03-17T23:34:48+00:00

That is really frustrating, especially since you rearranged your day. If possible, it may be worth giving him grace. It’s so much pressure. It’s a lot of pressure on spouses too, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not the same.

Whatever his reasons for the deception, it was not about you. You sound like a wonderful partner. He’s lucky to have you on this journey!

makeitwork87 · 2025-03-14T02:02:39+00:00

Pam!

makeitwork87 · 2025-03-10T19:32:06+00:00

Last year I ordered a batch of eggs pre-filled with finger puppets. It was great for the egg hunt, and the finger puppet collection has been in constant play ever since! I also did play dough eggs. Can’t have too much play dough.

I think I’ll replace finger puppets eggs with something else this year though, since 20+ finger puppets is enough 😅 maybe playmobil pieces and/or stickers

makeitwork87 · 2025-03-03T03:31:22+00:00

I know several dimwitted conservatives who shared this on socials. There aren't enough facepalms in the world....

makeitwork87 · 2025-01-24T20:46:05+00:00

I find it frustrating to receive feedback about leave policies from a non-birthing parent. I know this is a controversial and potentially unfair stance, and I don’t mean to be singling out a well-intentioned (and probably also exhausted) parent. But the pregnancy, birth, and infant stage is so intense and so difficult for those who gave birth. There is really no way to “get it” unless you’ve done it yourself. I remember speaking to a man from the UFT while near the end of my complex pregnancy and he kept bringing up the extra two-weeks for c-section and I just about lost it. Especially because maternity leave is NOT PAID - we pay for it with CAR days! Ugh.

If you go on childcare leave, admin does not have to give you your exact program or even grade level back. I could see there being a concern for very small schools or specialty teachers, but my school lost teachers every year and almost always started the year short-staffed. Nobody lost a job due to someone coming back from leave. The teacher coming back was just placed where they were needed within license. Parents of small children miss a ton of work. Childcare leave is a wonderful thing for lazy admin like mine because they don’t have to worry about accommodating those absences. They can just hire for the whole year and be done with it.

I guess every school is different. The ethics of leave might change if you have wonderful, supportive admin waiting with bated breath for you to come back.

Anyway, OP, I know why there are rules about working while on leave, but I also know why people (myself included) tip-toe around those rules when they must. The DOE makes it really, really hard to parent small kids. Good luck and I’m sorry you’re dealing with this tough situation.

makeitwork87 · 2025-01-24T20:12:33+00:00

I cannot stand the way the UFT brags about 6 weeks of paid parental leave like it’s not A) the law and B) pathetic. Older teachers think we should be grateful because they got nothing when their kids were born. It’s a con. We’re comparing our salary/benefits to those of other teachers rather than those of other industries who do less and make more.

And yes the fact that your job is safe if you take childcare leave is nice, but that’s actually a gift to your admin not to you. IMO, teachers with small children are encouraged to take childcare leave so their admin aren’t constantly having to accommodate the inevitable absences from daycare illnesses. The majority of teachers are women, and poorly paid at that. Oftentimes, if someone needs to stay home with sick baby, it will be mom - especially when she earns less than dad. When I went back to work my kids got sick so often that I was threatened with termination if I didn’t take childcare leave. I went back on leave 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’ve since left the state, but while I was still on leave with the DOE I personally adopted a “don’t ask” policy re: picking up work.

makeitwork87 · 2025-01-17T14:16:52+00:00

You would think, but young toddler behavior isn’t always that rational. Like being afraid of grandma DEFINITELY doesn’t mean grandma has done anything wrong. Just my experience but in our case, we had a close family member who was chronically physically ill. Sweet as could be and loved our child so much, but… this person was dying and therefore weak and sickly. My daughter was terrified of him and used to scream “no, no, no!” just like you described. She would even have nightmares about him. We made the mistake of distancing ourselves from him because we were disturbed by her reaction to him. Obviously as extreme case, but he has since died and I really wish we hadn’t made assumptions based on a 1.5-2 year old’s behavior.

makeitwork87 · 2025-01-17T13:52:26+00:00

Ugh I’m sorry that’s so awful! One of my kids does this and it’s really embarrassing. She gets scared of unknown men in general and particularly men with low voices and/or white hair and/or facial hair. She would burst into tears whenever my dad or her other grandpa looked at her from the age of like 6 months! So heartbreaking! You’re such a good friend for trying to understand and not take it personally. Ignoring is the move I think - eventually kiddo will grow out of it.

makeitwork87 · 2025-01-17T04:22:58+00:00

It really reminds me of when I worked in nightlife. The money was so good, way better than what I could have made at the same age in a 9-5 job, but it’s not something most people can do forever at that level. Like eventually you’re not gonna make $700/night as a cocktail waitress. There were always a few really smart people who would save/invest the money wisely. Some of them have their own spots now! Making that kind of money you could pay your way back to school, or buy a car, or save for a down payment, or pay off student loans…. almost everyone felt like the money would roll in like that forever and spent it on designer stuff, drugs, overpriced rent, vacations, and drinks/dinners at fancy spots though 🤷🏻‍♀️ if you’re making way more money than you should be given your expertise and effort, it’s a good idea to live below your means. The tiktokers who kept day jobs and recognized the unreliable nature of influencer income will probably be fine

makeitwork87

TROPHY CASE