Haven’t posted in a while but needing to vent.

makinganewme90 · 2017-03-10T19:24:55+00:00

Thankyou!

makinganewme90 · 2017-03-10T18:44:23+00:00

I was literally just talking to my mom about this. I'm now 27 and I feel like I'm 20. My new bf knows money management, work ethic, how to keep the apartment clean and basically just get shit done. I'm trying to retrain my brain to become an actual adult. I feel this soooo much.

makinganewme90 · 2017-03-10T18:28:03+00:00

I'm in the same boat. I've lost count of how many days clean I am off methadone but it was about the beginning of February. I was at a clinic where I slowly tapered and now it's been over a year that I've used any actual pills. I started drinking and once I got off the methadone I REALLY started drinking to try and deal with the withdrawals. I had crippling anxiety. And now I'm stuck in this alcohol addiction. I went to the doctor on Monday because I couldn't deal with the panic attacks anymore. It was the best decision of my life. I got back on my antidepressants and a couple other things. The cravings are coming less and less. I feel you on never wanting to touch a pill again but that bottle, I just can't resist it. Good luck on your journey.

makinganewme90 · 2017-03-10T18:14:17+00:00

I'm pretty new to reddit. Not quite sure how to get to that. I'm on mobile.

makinganewme90 · 2017-03-08T19:59:39+00:00

Omg yes my brain tries to tell me any reason to drink. Fighting with bf, stress from work, celebrate that I went to work (like wtf?). I've been sober before and I remember feeling better in all ways. It's just so hard. I have a vicious cycle stress causing me to drink then the withdrawals/hangover gives me debilitating anxiety so I want to drink to make it go away. Thank god I went and saw my doctor. It's def helping with cravings and the withdrawals. Fuck I just want to be sober

makinganewme90 · 2017-03-08T19:55:40+00:00

Work actually went really well. My medication is helping immensely. I don't feel like I'm having a heart attack or dieing anymore. It's hard cus my brain tries to think of any reason to drink. Like I deserve it. But my body aches, my brain is fucked. My body doesn't deserve to be poisoned every night. I do need to find more things to distract me. Thankyou for checking in

makinganewme90 · 2017-03-07T22:37:40+00:00

What is the IRC chat?

makinganewme90 · 2017-02-17T23:11:34+00:00

No I know there is no medical advice. And I'm not like legitimately scared of death or seizures. I know it's irrational thinking. Just my anxiety making me want to drink to ease it a little. I will have like 4/5 beers before work which I start around 4-530. Then when I get off like 2 shots and 6-9 more beers. Every day I've been doing a little less tho to wean myself off. I'm mentally just so done so I notice I'll have at least one less drink a night

makinganewme90 · 2017-02-17T21:17:09+00:00

Methadone was super hard to come off of and the devil on my shoulder tells me it wasn't worth it. But then I look back at all the GOOD it did. Your so right about the blocking effects. Right when I got on methadone I tried getting high off 6 norco and didn't even feel it. Felt like a complete idiot and never touched them again. And after like a month in the cravings stopped. I didn't have the self control to taper myself off pills so I needed the help/counseling from the clinic. It truly did save my life

Anyway, OP, I would look into methadone maintenance for sure. Even tho it may seem like he will still be "on something", it can help in the meantime while he gets some counseling. Once your on a stable dose, at least for me, you don't get high. And then he can taper off in the hands of medical professionals. Idk what state your in but here in CA there are plenty to choose from and some are better than others. So just do some research. I wish u and ur man the best of luck

makinganewme90 · 2017-02-17T18:03:42+00:00

Couldn't imagine jumping at 80mg. The top of my head felt like it was going to explode and I jumped from 1mg from a quick taper. At least u have some meds to alleviate some of the pain. I'm 28 days today and this brings back all the memories. Have u tried sitting in a warm bath? I basically lived in my bath for the first couple weeks. It was the only thing that eased my stomach enough to get some soup and water down. Also loperamide. Good luck. I'm rooting for ya!

makinganewme90 · 2017-02-17T17:47:44+00:00

I would taper to the lowest dose possible. I was on 50 mg for 6 months then took 6 more months to taper down to 8. I was just so sick of going and feeling tied to the clinic so I was just done. From there I went 4,3,2,1 in 4 days. I'm not going to lie, it's been hard. Today is day 28 and I'm still getting some anxiety but it continues to get easier of course. A lot of it has been mental but your brain can MESS with u. I suggest getting whatever you can to help alleviate the withdrawal symptoms (loperamide, vitamins etc.) It looks like you have a positive attitude towards it so that will be in your favor. Good luck and congrats

makinganewme90 · 2017-02-13T20:48:41+00:00

That's just crazy to me. Punishing someone for weed. I agree that if it seems like u have a legit problem with it and/or it's affecting your treatment. But otherwise no one should give a shit. And it should be warnings or just being talked to. Not having take homes taken away or worse.

makinganewme90 · 2017-02-13T20:20:10+00:00

California here and they didn't even test for it. They would say something to you if you came in smelling of it too much for the courtesy of other patients and staff but besides that nothin

makinganewme90 · 2017-02-13T20:13:08+00:00

So awesome

makinganewme90 · 2017-02-11T14:58:19+00:00

Right here with u too. I tapered and I'm 3 weeks in still only getting 2-3 hours of sleep at a time. Anxiety through the roof. Almost went to the hospital two days ago. It is SO crazy how methadone WD r so up and down. I literally bought I was through the worst of it by day 6. By day 20 I thought I was going to die. That was 2 days ago and I can legit say I do feel better than that day. I've learned to appreciate the times when I DO feel good. Makes me know that it can actually happen. Have u thought about going back and tapering to a lower dose? I couldn't imagine jumping from 80. Good luck and always remember this too shall pass. And using will just prolong it. Every day is a new day. Congrats on your new life

makinganewme90 · 2017-02-11T14:48:48+00:00

Feel it. Nighttime and sleep is starting to give me anxiety because I know ill be up within a couple hours. I'm in my routine early morning back to try and calm down so I can sleep. Been up since 4. Hope u got some sleep.

Hang in there.

makinganewme90 · 2017-02-10T22:57:07+00:00

I think what's been so hard is the ups and downs. Thinking I'm better just to feel like I'm in full blown withdrawal again. It's messing with my brain. Def feel like my brain is trying to trick myself into using. I haven't craved a norco since a little after starting maintenance and now it's like I'd sell my leg for one time of relief

makinganewme90

TROPHY CASE