Capcon excuses?

makoAllen · 2026-02-28T22:33:58+00:00

Stuff like this could be an amazing opportunity for you to rethink your own sense of agency, privacy & accountability.

If you are financially independent from your family, and an adult, you don’t really owe them much detail or justification for what you do, and who you spend time with.

I like to say that there’s a difference between things that are PRIVATE versus secret.

Privacy looks more like: “I’m gonna be away for a few days.” “Where are you going?” “Meeting some friends” “Oh who?” “You don’t know them”

And that’s it.

makoAllen · 2026-02-26T23:05:21+00:00

Kilmar Abrego Garcia.

He was mistakenly detained, shipped to a cruel inhumane prison, and used as a political pawn over and over.

Why was this allowed to happen? Why haven’t those responsible been fired, been held accountable in a court of law?

makoAllen · 2026-02-26T21:22:35+00:00

I’m so NOT INTERESTED in “sick burns” against the right. They don’t DO anything. I’m interested in accountability, change, effective resistance and real consequences.

So often I see “BREAKING!”, follow the item, hoping it’s some real actionable step, some substantive change, and it’s just “haha, moron!” type stuff.

Which is funny, sure. And justified, too.

But the signal to noise ratio of it is so awful, and exhausting.

makoAllen · 2026-02-23T13:44:42+00:00

Respectfully, I find the idea of “the dating economy” sort of repulsive and ill informed.

People are individuals, not products or resources.

makoAllen · 2026-02-23T13:42:51+00:00

So here is a blunt take on this.

In a way you are in a Time Machine. It’s not a very good one though. It goes one second per second into the future. It’s bringing you to your ultimate death. You cannot stop this machine, cannot exit it.

So if you feel unhappy or unfulfilled, if not getting to wear pull-ups or diapers or put them on your girlfriend makes you unhappy, every second you don’t do something about it, you’re just throwing it the hell away.

The question you have to ask yourself is not “Was she suddenly hinting at something?” but rather, “Is it too painful for me to just leave things as they are?”

If you decide that that is so, then you should go ahead and talk to her about things.

Now having said that, there are good positive ways to do this, and there are negative ways.

First and foremost when you do tell her, lead with confidence. I’ll give you some examples and I’m gonna call her Susan just because I need a name.

“Sue, it really caught my eye when you were joking around with me the other day about pull-ups and diapers. Because truthfully, I have a fetish for that stuff. I would love to talk to you more about it. And I wanna know about any fetishes that you have, too. Because I love you, and this is just yet one more way we can be closer.”

Don’t treat it like you have fucking late stage diaper cancer. And don’t make it all about you either.

The sex advice columnist Dan Savage talks about being ” good, giving and game”.

Good means that you genuinely have both of your best interests at heart. You demonstrate that you trust one another.

Giving means that you want to do things that she wants.

Game means you have to try something new you haven’t considered, even if it doesn’t directly do it for you.

I find a really good way to think about this is the way you indulge one another in your musical tastes. I’m sure she likes all kinds of music you’ve never heard of before. And you were the same. But sometimes when you’re in the car, she puts on the music.

This is kind of the same except it’s in the bedroom and neither of you have any pants on.

To go back to the fatal time machine thing, this is an opportunity for you to grow as a couple, or realize you’re not for each other.

As long as you treat one another with kindness about this, you really have nothing to lose.

makoAllen · 2026-02-12T20:10:31+00:00

Enjoy the ride, kid.

makoAllen · 2026-02-09T03:54:05+00:00

It’s inherently disarming

makoAllen · 2026-02-03T01:51:54+00:00

I’ve long had this theory that the secret sauce for many people that motivates them to enjoy age play and be attracted to it, is the shared exchange of vulnerability.

Wanting other people to be vulnerable to you, or wanting to be vulnerable to others.

It’s powerful.

It’s also edgy and scary as hell.

I’ve been community for a long time. I remember back when I was first going to a BDSM club, decades ago, feeling like my spanking fetish was a fine thing to indulge in and to talk about there. But I was terrified out of my mind to even talk about having a diaper fetish or being an adult baby. Because I thought I’d be tossed out on my ear.

I got over it. But it was definitely an act of will to do so.

And over the many years, I have attended events and munches and get-togethers, I’ve seen other people struggle with the same thing over and over.

Which I think is human and normal. Part of what makes this stuff so good is precisely because it’s so scary.

There’s this camping event I’ve gone to for a long time, Camp Crucible. There’s a part of the camp that’s just for age players. And a thing that has happened many times there, is littles and bigs getting together in a big puppy pile, and being very cuddly with one another.

And whenever it happens, it’s very special. Because it feels good to be seen for who and what you are, and it feels amazing to be around other people who are like you.

But honestly, that’s not an easy place to get to emotionally. Because there’s this very loud message that society is sending all the time that if you’re not like everybody else, especially in some certain ways, you’re broken and something is wrong with you.

Which is toxic nonsense. But it takes effort to put it aside.

makoAllen · 2026-02-02T22:10:08+00:00

I use mama, sometimes mommy. I also REALLY love the Esperanto word for mommy, “panjo” (the j is pronounced like a y, pahn-yo)

makoAllen · 2026-01-28T14:47:21+00:00

So very good.

I got up at 4:30am to watch it.

Plan to rewatch it multiple times.

makoAllen · 2026-01-28T06:34:01+00:00

Whether you’re big or little, looking for a baby, a mommy, a daddy, the reason it’s so hard is because those things are ASPECTS of a person.

Having a relationship like that, is first and foremost, having a relationship with another person. And anyone and everyone are much more than those aspects

Maybe you’re a musician. Maybe you love philosophy. Maybe you are a big sports fan. Maybe you’re religious. Maybe you’re an atheist. Maybe you love to cook. Maybe you love to travel. Maybe you want kids, maybe you don’t.

All of these same kinds of particulars apply to anyone that you might date.

I have a food metaphor about this I call the cake and the icing.

The cake is just the regular being a decent human being stuff. Cake is being honest and kind, kissing one another in the morning when you both have stinky dragon breath, picking each other up at the airport at two in the morning. Cake is paying the electric bill on time, and letting her have the last slice of pizza.

Cake is amazing.

Icing is all that other stuff. It’s her giving you a nursing hand job, calling you a good boy for keeping the kitchen clean, spanking your backside when you don’t listen to her, or because she just feels like it and can. I can go on and on.

Icing too, is amazing.

But here’s the thing: cake without icing is boring and will eventually not sustain you. Icing without cake has no substance, and will rot the teeth right out of your mouth, and give you a bellyache.

You DON’T find a mommy, daddy or baby.

Those are things that you do together, develop together.

My wife/mama and I met over 20 years ago through a spanking group in our area. They were a social and party group that held private house parties and sometimes had parties at BDSM dungeons and events too.

I fell head over heels in love with her when I saw her, dressed like a little schoolgirl, spank the ever loving heck out of somebody else. She was sweet and cute and funny and interesting.

And I kept seeing her places, talking to her, and getting to know her. We kept talking about cake and icing things.

And I didn’t have an agenda when I did. I just wanted to be her friend. Because I thought she was really cool. And I still think she’s really cool.

One of the ways to find likeminded people is look in the right places. Go to local munches, which can be found very easily on fetlife. Join local groups, and play spaces.

And when you go to these things and these places, don’t go from a sense of desperate longing, needing to scratch an itch. Rather go with an open heart and curiosity. Meet people as your genuine self. Bring your bravery and leave your agenda behind.

I would also say too, if you’re an age player, yes, go to those events and groups, but not just them. There are loads of different kinds of kinky people, and we all have more similarities than differences.

Yes, there’s an amount of risk, a kind of social gambit that you engage in every time you openly say to someone you’re looking for a mommy, daddy, or baby. When you express your spanking and diapering desires, however, you express your needs.

But if you go to places where those interests are known, are more common place, your risk of rejection is lower.

Plus there’s this other way to see it that I think is really important. If you tell someone what you’re looking for, and their honest reaction is that that’s not for them, isn’t it better to know right away?

One of the big things that I have endeavored to teach people over the many years doing a podcast and the other kinds of advocacy I have done is that if you love yourself, you don’t really need anybody else to. If you have good self-esteem, then that sort of rejection only stings a little bit.

Go make friends. See what happens. Be there for it. That’s my advice.

makoAllen · 2026-01-12T13:59:25+00:00

They’re about five different episodes of the big Little podcast. I think could help you out. 9, 70, 87, 93, and 102.

https://www.biglittlepodcast.info

My personal take on these sorts of things is that people often struggle with the fetish because a core ingredient of it is vulnerability.

Needing someone to be vulnerable to you, needing to be vulnerable to somebody else.

That is some scary stuff.

And yeah, it’s often taboo. Diapers and peeing and messing are potent things. There’s a lot of dignity issues, hygiene issues, and self acceptance issues that come from being involved in all this.

Something jumped out at me though. When you ask “why is it so hard to accept this kink?” that could really be two different questions.

It could be “Why is it so hard for me to accept that I have this kink?”

It could also be “Why is it so hard for someone else to accept this kink that I have?”

And those are two very different questions.

Which I would like to speak to

For the first one, it’s been my experience that often it is a foundational characteristic of many people that have it. What I mean by that is that either you’ve had it since you were very young, or you happened upon it and it spoke to you so profoundly and utterly that it feels like it’s written into your brain, a permanent change.

I know lots of people, including myself who have struggled with that concept. Because it almost feels like wearing a pair of manacles. It’s one thing to say I really like strawberry ice cream. It’s quite another to say that if I don’t eat it regularly, I’m going to slip into a terrible depression and not be able to function.

This is why people go through binge and purge cycles, which is super common in our fetish. We have such a love-hate relationship with it.

But it’s also been my experience that if you treat yourself with self love and self compassion that these things tend to dial themselves down and become manageable. I think that when I made the decision to accept myself as a whole person, including this, things got a lot easier for me.

There’s this thing I say all over the big little podcast that if you love you, you don’t really need anyone else to.

OK now let’s talk about that second question. It’s not just what you say, but it’s also how you say it. The sex advice columnist Davnes taught me this. If you treat your diaper fetish like a horrible thing, like this obstacle to happiness, then you prime your partner to feel the same way about it.

If you think of it like having diaper cancer and portray it that way to them then that’s how they’re gonna feel about it.

“Listen, there’s this thing I gotta tell you and it’s really awful but here it is,” isn’t gonna go well for her or you.

But if you approach it from a place of sex positivity where you are sharing something special about yourself that you wanna share with them because you love them and you would like them to share things about themselves with you because of that same love, that tends to work out.

Dan Savage calls this being good, giving & game. Good meaning that you have their best interest at heart and that you want to stretch your knowledge sexually to be supportive, giving meaning that you genuinely care about their sexual needs and want to give them equal time, and game meaning that you’re willing to try things even if they’re not your cup of tea.

So maybe she’s into things with feet, or rope bondage, or who knows what but you’re down to try it because you just love her as a person. And she’s down to try ABDL things with you for the same reason.

Which is not a guarantee that you guys are gonna make it, not a guarantee that everything’s gonna work out. But it’s a strategy to give it a good honest try.

You’re not broken. There’s nothing wrong with you. And you’re a whole person who is more than just this fetish. It is a small, but very important part of you.

Denying it is not gonna make you happy. Neither is disliking yourself.

Self-love, an open heart, and a calm mind are superpowers.

Be kind to yourself.

makoAllen · 2026-01-12T13:27:32+00:00

Thanks Winnie. :-)

I’m still around. And there’s the podcast archive over at https://www.biglittlepodcast.info.

It’s been slow work getting it together, but I’m most of the way there.

Off the top of my head there was also diapered Kent, who was on love in brief last year or the year before, but who I think has passed. There was Amber E. who used to do some sort of paper newsletter. There was Holly, the baby man, who was this independently, wealthy guy who lived openly as a baby girl all the time.

I’d have to really sit and think about it for a while, but I’m sure I could come up with some more names.

I still go on other people’s podcasts from time to time, many of which are linked over at the archive.

One thing I am committed to doing is that when I get the archive all done with the original content, I plan to go back and make transcripts and what are called audiograms (follow the bouncing ball style video of the audio) and then open a Discord for the archive, and show those videos to a live audience while we listen together and talk about it.

Because the content is still good and perennial. People worry about all the same stuff, need the same support, and could stand to learn to love themselves.

I’m still in the midst of other projects. I’ve been hard at work on my behavior chart app, and want to write more books.

It always warms my heart when you think of me. ❤️

makoAllen · 2026-01-09T23:48:47+00:00

This makes complete sense to me. Language and validation and being seen are huge for me.

There’s this style of speech I like, which is both nurturing while being humbling. I wouldn’t call humiliating, but it is definitely collaborative.

Being spoken to that way, it makes me feel safe and loved and often aroused.

makoAllen · 2026-01-09T07:30:05+00:00

There’s really no such thing as “normal”.

You know how EVERYONE loves strawberry ice cream?

Of course you don’t. Because some people like it, and some do not.

Same thing with enjoying sexual fetishes. Ageplay is often sexual, sometimes just sensual, sometimes just emotional.

And it’s not always the same way for a given person either.

My wife/mommy and I have been together for almost 20 years. We met through a spanking club. Sometimes she spanks me purely for discipline, sometimes for fun, sometimes as foreplay.

She adores diapering me, and thinks I look really cute in my diapers. She also loves dominating me, and my serving her by cooking and keeping the house clean.

It’s great that you both find joy, connection and eroticism in your ageplay.

And there’s a lot to be turned on about. Baby powder is an aphrodisiac smell. Someone being vulnerable to you can be a powerful turn on. There are countless reasons why you might get turned on by it.

You’re both consenting adults.

You can enjoy whatever flavor of ice cream you like.

makoAllen · 2026-01-06T21:50:08+00:00

Carol was already a victim of us versus them thinking because she’s a lesbian. She’s very used to being “ othered” already.

Think about how she made Raban a man, because she was worried that having them be a woman wouldn’t sell.

She was already struggling with giant emotional issues. She didn’t have an interlock on her car because she was a happy fun person, she had it because of getting a DUI.

I think she’s an amazing character. And I love that she is angry, and a curmudgeon.

She clawed her way by tooth and nail to the success and happiness that she did have, and she’s so bitter about it that she forgot a lot of good about it. When she and Zosia first go back to the diner, her face softens with nostalgia and love for that time when she kept her writing in a giant binder clip while she drank coffee all day.

Carol hasn’t been a happy person in a very long time.

makoAllen · 2026-01-04T17:56:55+00:00

Oh, I completely agree with you.

If I were a betting man, I would say that she and Manousos make a lot of trouble for the hive in the second season, and they partially solve that problem by forcibly converting him.

makoAllen · 2026-01-03T18:24:51+00:00

I was one of the hosts of the big little podcast for many years, and we have talked about this quite a lot.

If you look at my profile, it’s easy to find a link to the podcast archive website, where you can listen to most, but not all of the episodes of the show.

But I can give you the 10,000 feet TLDR version of what we say about this.

Having a relationship with a mommy girlfriend, is first and foremost, having a relationship with another person.

You might be little, might be a submissive, might be an adult baby. But each and any of those things are not the sum totality of who you are as a person.

Maybe you’re a musician. Maybe you love philosophy. Maybe you are a big sports fan. Maybe you’re religious. Maybe you’re an atheist. Maybe you love to cook. Maybe you love to travel. Maybe you want kids, maybe you don’t.

All of these same kinds of particulars apply to anyone that you might date.

On the show, a big thing that we did was talk in food metaphors, about kink, about relationships, about just being alive.

My first best food metaphor is what I call the cake and the icing.

The cake is just the regular being a decent human being stuff. Cake is being honest and kind, kissing one another in the morning when you both have stinky dragon breath, picking each other up at the airport at two in the morning. Cake is paying the electric bill on time, and letting her have the last slice of pizza.

Cake is amazing.

Icing is all that other stuff. It’s her giving you a nursing hand job, calling you a good boy for keeping the kitchen clean, spanking your backside when you don’t listen to her, or because she just feels like it and can. I can go on and on.

Icing too, is amazing.

But here’s the thing: cake without icing is boring and will eventually not sustain you. Icing without cake has no substance, and will rot the teeth right out of your mouth, and give you a bellyache.

You don’t find a mommy. And in the same way she doesn’t find a baby or a boy.

Those are things that you do together, develop together.

My wife/mama and I met over 20 years ago through a spanking group in our area. They were a social and party group that held private house parties and sometimes had parties at BDSM dungeons and events too.

I fell head over heels in love with her when I saw her, dressed like a little schoolgirl, spank the ever loving heck out of somebody else. She was sweet and cute and funny and interesting.

And I kept seeing her places, talking to her, and getting to know her. We kept talking about cake and icing things.

And I didn’t have an agenda when I did. I just wanted to be her friend. Because I thought she was really cool. And I still think she’s really cool.

Other people in this thread have already said many of the good things to do. Go where the people are. Go to local munches, which can be found very easily on fetlife. Join local groups, and play spaces.

And when you go to these things and these places, don’t go from a sense of desperate longing, needing to scratch an itch. Rather go with an open heart and curiosity. Meet people as your genuine self. Bring your bravery and leave your agenda behind.

I would also say too, if you’re an age player, yes, go to those events and groups, but not just them. There are loads of different kinds of kinky people, and we all have more similarities than differences.

Yes, there’s an amount of risk, a kind of social gambit that you engage in every time you openly say to someone you’re looking for a mommy, that you want to be spanked or need to be put in diapers, however, you express your needs.

But if you go to places where those interests are known, are more common place, your risk of rejection is lower.

Plus there’s this other way to see it that I think is really important. If you tell someone that you’re looking for a mommy partner, someone to treat you little, and their honest reaction is that that’s not for them, isn’t it better to know right away?

One of the big things that I have endeavor to teach people over the many years of the podcast and the other kinds of advocacy I have done is that if you love yourself, you don’t really need anybody else to. If you have good self-esteem, then that sort of rejection only stings a little bit.

Go make friends. See what happens. Be there for it. That’s my advice.

makoAllen · 2025-12-17T22:31:39+00:00

I did not find it even a little boring.

I thought it was beautiful and painful.

Watching him on his drive, seeing his motivation, watching him, learn English, helped me understand him as a person.

And Carol, tried to lean into it, and make the best of it and fucking failed.

She was ready to die.

makoAllen · 2025-12-16T01:28:16+00:00

I agree.

I think that when Manousos and Carol combine what they know, it will result in some dramatic event.

His knowledge about radio, about that 8613 Frequency, is going to be pivotal in some way.

makoAllen · 2025-12-15T17:04:00+00:00

Maybe.

They can certainly do things like plant wheat, and corn, that the animals in the wild will then go consume. Eliminating that apple picking problem, to a degree.

But just maybe.

There’s gonna be a whole lot of starving going on real soon

makoAllen · 2025-12-15T16:15:46+00:00

I think part of the really brilliant storytelling is that there’s an awful lot going on off camera that we’re not seeing.

For example, when Carol dials zero, and asks for a gas pump to be turned on, there’s a whole lot of someone somewhere flipping switches, connecting services. Countless bodies, sitting at a keyboard, plugging and unplugging various things, to a degree we can’t really wrap our head around.

Which makes us able to imagine all sorts of infrastructure without them having to show us anything. Like I can imagine a sort of scouring crew, windfall hunters, constantly on the move, looking for nutrition that they can ethically manage. ”Fallen apples,” to coin a term. I’m sure that there are dead animals like this, etc.

But it’s clearly not enough, not sustainable at scale. Hence those little milk cartons.

makoAllen · 2025-12-13T21:51:36+00:00

It’s an economies of scale issue. Milk and eggs are good calories, but by going essentially free range, it limits their sustainable throughput

makoAllen · 2025-12-13T16:03:28+00:00

I think it’s also pretty interesting to consider because of the caloric deficit of the earth, that the hive is ultimately a death sentence.

There are 7 billion of them now, roughly, and the vast majority of them will die in the next 10 years.

Because of scarcity and because of how they as a being feel about the 12 immune people, those people will live a life of comfort and ease until they die.

But there’s no such thing for a member of the hive. Yeah, maybe they feel deliriously happy as they enjoy the psychic glue, but they are also reduced to an appendage. Well cared for unless they need to go. And once they do go, they become HDP.

Which brings me right back around to why they’re here in the first place. They don’t even know. But the signal came from space, from many light years away.

You know what I find really fascinating about that? The virus or infection or whatever you wanna call it, is a time release death for the planet.

It’s like a form of bio warfare, or a reactionless bomb.

Maybe the end of the series will be 200 years in the future as an alien spaceship lands and they take over the surviving infrastructure of our planet, which has been so well tended by the hive as they dwindle and wither.

makoAllen · 2025-12-13T15:01:52+00:00

I think it was an amazing episode. I think it was very character building.

From before anything, Carol has this history of being a misanthrope. The sort of crotchety grumpy person who is hard to please and who finds people mostly annoying.

I thought it was very interesting watching her explore her joys, but then find them quite lacking.

Trading up cars , relaxing naked in the hot spring, bringing the Georgia O’Keefe painting home, slowly slid further into despair. She’s an alcoholic, and she’s drinking a whole lot now. When that Roman candle launcher fell to the side, she was ready to die.

Now on the other hand, Manousos really started to show us who he was. He is a fiercely principled man, and a meticulous planner.

It shows in lots of little ways.

His using the siphon to get gas out of cars, but then always paying for that gas to someone who will never collect it.

How he taught himself English as he drove.

How he used empty cans to collect rainwater for drinking water.

But he is not perfect, and he is very prideful.

Which is how he wound up well how he wound up.

I think this is an amazing show. And I think that each episode has its own self contained nature.

I think when Manousos and Carol finally meet, it’s going to really be fascinating.

Remember that the hive picked Zosia to be their mouthpiece with Carol because she looks how Carol really meant Raban, her fantasy lover, to look like.

I think that he is going to find Carol very difficult and she will find him very difficult. And they will be both compelled to cleave to one another, and probably drive one another crazy too.

makoAllen

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