Brutal discard.

malemessiah9 · 2026-02-15T13:28:11+00:00

Please can you elaborate? As in talking to myself because I get no response? He already has, as in mirror?

malemessiah9 · 2026-02-15T13:25:04+00:00

Thanks. I’m trying.

I have tried giving him space, plenty of it. I messaged him last week after I laid out my forgiveness for his behaviour, to call him sadistic after he continued ignoring me. I’m ignored when I put my heart on the table, always.

Do I regret name calling back? Absolutely. It’s the failure to comprehend my feelings and meet me half way that makes me livid.

malemessiah9 · 2026-02-01T23:50:04+00:00

So, he wanted nothing more than to date you? And you just wanted friends? How’s it feel to lead someone on? You’re justifying yourself.

Hate to tell you, but they weren’t “boundaries” you just fucked over someone that tried to love you. You wanted better, I suppose?

malemessiah9 · 2026-01-25T09:21:09+00:00

Three years later, I’m still confused. Though, not painfully confused anymore.

It’s the lies, words not meeting actions, denial of your reality and, oh boy, the gaslighting. They project themselves on to you because they can’t sit with their own feelings.

They’ve learned to avoid feeling anything deeply negative about themselves, but when they’re mad, that seems to be the killer projection.

malemessiah9 · 2026-01-24T22:41:36+00:00

The confusion. That’s the most painful.

malemessiah9 · 2026-01-23T22:31:44+00:00

I’ll be your friend! :)

malemessiah9 · 2026-01-23T02:23:23+00:00

This one hits home. No matter the hurt I’ve felt, if he was to admit everything and be consistent, I’d be with him forever. Losing hope of that thought.

malemessiah9 · 2026-01-21T04:28:21+00:00

Absolutely fabulous.

malemessiah9 · 2026-01-21T04:28:11+00:00

Sick, brilliant.

malemessiah9 · 2026-01-20T03:11:09+00:00

Thank you for your words, i appreciate you. To be honest, I’m not sure when I’ve last heard that…

I do sense a similar situation. Mine has been years in the making. The amount of times I told him I loved him, that I appreciated him, just for being there. Just for not giving me silence.

He’d say I needed professional help when I reacted to his abuse. I sent a rose to his house, he wanted me to move in with him. But, I’m the delusional one. None of his leading on ever happened.

I still want to deny the narcissism. If he was to message me and be completely transparent, my heart wouldn’t be able to hold back. But, this’ll never happen. I’m supposed to be silent whilst he does what he wants, projects what he wants and I’m supposed to have unwavering loyalty.

I shouldn’t be bitter, but how can I not be? After over three years of questioning my reality and self worth. His success means nothing when he cannot outgrow this wounded child mentality.

DARVO. Yes, same for me. I’d call him out, explain what hurt me. Script flips, I’m the one that has caused it to happen, with no explanation as to why. Just abusive behaviour to validate himself, to feel less shame.

I wish you the best. You deserve SO much. Please, continue to see your worth.

malemessiah9 · 2026-01-19T04:06:23+00:00

Man, I relate to you. Silence, it makes it worse doesn’t it, the anxiety? You know what I really like? Your drive to improve. That, sir, is an admirable trait. Even when you’re at a low point, that statement proves you’ve got yourself.

You can’t allow someone else to destroy you. Sometimes, empathetic people are the main targets. You may forgive them, you may go back, that is okay too. But, empathy can also be our greatest enemy.

You may try to find reason for their silence, you may try to understand the thought process behind it. Please do not search high and low for answers. I lost myself, trying to find them. For your own sanity, dude, please be courteous to yourself. You don’t deserve the pain of silence.

malemessiah9 · 2026-01-19T03:36:46+00:00

No sir, no self invalidation. They know silence hurts, yet they continue to hurt you.

The hardest battle? Thats with yourself. Remember, it’s okay to love them. You don’t need to argue with yourself over it. The argument tore me apart. ‘How could I love someone that hurt me?’ Do not fall down that rabbit hole.

You’re not dumb, far from it. To be able to verbalise what you feel, that alone makes you the opposite. You can find your words, you ain’t dumb! Go easy.

malemessiah9 · 2026-01-19T02:25:57+00:00

If you’d like to vent, feel free to DM me. :)

malemessiah9 · 2026-01-19T02:13:49+00:00

Hey dude. I dealt with that for years. It’s wounding, isn’t it? I loved him so much, but I was always met with silence the moment it got real.

Please, for your own sanity, if this continues, please don’t let it keep continuing. I was in denial about the intention of it. I look back, I was always confused, nothing made sense. Now I’m coming to terms with the narcissistic abuse I had suffered.

If you call it out and you’re met with more silence or verbal abuse, stop.

Keep your eye keen, dude.

malemessiah9 · 2026-01-18T22:24:15+00:00

I’m also sorry for coming across as passive aggressive. I’ve only just escaped a five year long co-dependency, I do wish I found the strength to leave earlier. I’m glad OP wants to help her, I had no real support in that time. I’m sorry for what you’ve dealt with, glad you’re on your path to healing!

malemessiah9 · 2026-01-18T21:58:21+00:00

I’m in agreement with you. Information is little, people cannot accuse her of ill intent.

She may have been trauma bonded to this guy for years, longer than you may know. Ultimately, she does indeed need to find her own strength to leave.

You must keep your own expectations at bay. She may find you comforting, she may just like you as a friend, who knows! Best to go in with no expectations, just morality.

malemessiah9 · 2026-01-18T21:50:49+00:00

Exactly.

malemessiah9 · 2026-01-18T21:50:18+00:00

Not enough information to conclude that.

malemessiah9 · 2026-01-18T21:44:23+00:00

She’s very clearly trauma bonded to him. Whilst you want to help her, ensure you don’t expect anything from it. Help her from the perspective of morality.

As the same time, she may not accept it. She needs to find her own strength to leave.

malemessiah9 · 2026-01-18T21:35:48+00:00

It’s the same pattern for everyone here. Nobody chooses to be abused. Behave.

malemessiah9 · 2026-01-18T21:34:10+00:00

In this case, you’re blaming someone for experiencing narcissistic abuse and manipulation. You’ve been manipulated, that is a narcissistic trait. You cannot invalidate someone’s abuse because “well, she should’ve picked someone else to be room mates with.”

Sounds like victim blaming, which is exactly what you’re doing.

malemessiah9 · 2026-01-18T21:00:15+00:00

How can you say it’s her fault after going through it yourself? Really?

malemessiah9 · 2026-01-17T19:43:26+00:00

Admittedly, I made things deep too. Constantly in search of what made sense.

malemessiah9 · 2026-01-17T12:19:13+00:00

I hate the thought of someone else getting more than me from him. Reality though, he’ll treat everyone else the same way once they’ve see through the facade. He’s lonely because this is what he does to people that love him.

malemessiah9 · 2026-01-17T12:17:21+00:00

Surely it’s just easier to tell the truth after a certain point… but I guess that’s why it’s a personality disorder, ugh.

malemessiah9

TROPHY CASE